eilinel's ghost

I've teased my Nerdanel fic here a number of times as I've wrestled with it. And now it is finally DONE - all 18,000 words of it (which, for me, is an astounding number of letters all in one fic). Huzzah!

I'll be dropping short chapters roughly every other day for the rest of the summer, and I hope you'll come along for the ride. Tagging @eilinelsghost (thank you!) @melestasflight @polutrope @queerofthedagger @melians-griddle for expressed interest in The Big Project.

so like if the username is something like "dancingwithbears" they'll refer to their husband as "Mr. Bears"

trying a new art style

＂Now he will ever remember thee in the sun of morning, and that last evening by the water of Aeluin in which he saw thy face mirrored with a star caught in thy hair - ever, until the North-wind brings the night of his flame.＂—History of Middle-earth Vol.10

Being unable to find peace in your own skin, in your own home. Being drawn against your will further and further away. The agonising call of the lands beyond the ocean, carried like a parasitic song in the gulls and sandpipers.

A distant echo never leaving your mind

There is such a visceral horror already to me in the elves of Beleriand and Middle Earth who never wished to come to Valinor, who die whether through misfortune or violence, and who return to life only to be separated forever from their home.

So currently I answer to my full first name (which I usually introduce myself with) as well as two nicknames/diminutives plus my last name when people mistake it for a first name. There are two or three other nicknames I've also gone by in the past. I'm perfectly fine with this, or neutral at minimum-- I have a common name and have had to be flexible with how I'm distinguished for my whole life. I also don't feel a deep and fundamental connection of my name with my identity, though I think going by another name entirely would confuse me.

A number of friends have been appalled at me being called names I don't say are my name. Which is really weird to me, although I'd go to battle for anyone else who was getting either deadnamed or called something they didn't want. But this perspective seems surprisingly common!

e-eddit, added some anotations😶

This is a real opportunity to make sure that history records that the fandom included people like YOU — people from your background and with your identities, people who approach and understand the work the way that you do, people who get the things out of it that you do, people who are challenged by it for the reasons that you are. There are several popular cliches of what a Tolkien fan is like (classic D&D/fantasy bros, right wing Christian conservatives, people who idealize Tolkien himself), and many of us here do not fit any of those. So it’s important for a wide, varied view of the fandom to be documented for posterity.