I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
@theartofmadeline
occasionally subtle
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Andulka
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
DEAR READER
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@eidoloony
Get real.
tumblr glitched while loading this, so instead of "dude get real" being the punchline, it was like this cat put on glasses for the first time and their friend was just. a legit dog. and not like them at all.
This is killing me
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The people who insist AI is smarter than a human are doing their fucking damnedest to manifest that
the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad
i'm sorry i never did your tag game. i love you
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The European Union already forced Apple to abandon its proprietary charging port and adopt USB-C across its entire iPhone lineup. It just did something bigger. A new EU mandate requires every smartphone sold in Europe including Apple devices to feature a battery that can be replaced by the user without specialist tools, without voiding a warranty, and without sending the device to a manufacturer approved service center. Batteries must maintain a minimum capacity threshold after a set number of charge cycles and replacement parts must remain available for up to ten years after a model goes on sale.
The consumer electronics industry built its current business model around batteries that degrade, cannot be replaced at home, and create a natural upgrade cycle every two to three years. The EU just legislated that model out of existence in the world's largest regulatory market.
Apple, Samsung, and every other manufacturer now faces a choice between redesigning their devices for the European market or accepting that their current hardware architecture is no longer legally sellable there.
Given that no company walks away from European consumers voluntarily the phones are going to change and once they change for Europe the rest of the world will ask why theirs still do not.
gothic horror is when there's a location. cosmic horror is when there's an unauthorized fucking Thing. folk horror is when you're outside.
counterpoint
cosmic horror is when the Thing is Not Familiar, the Location Makes No Fucking Sense, and the Outside is BIG.
gothic horror is when The Thing is Of Your Own Making, the Location has a Deeply Bloody History, and the Outside is Wet and Cold and Is Caging You In.
folk horror is when the Thing Should Be Familiar, But Is Not, the Location Should Be Pleasing, But Is Not, and the Outside is Trying Very Hard To Kill You
i love when a character is very clearly going through their own shit badly and is able to be sympathised with yet they are also being awful to others and hurting people who don't deserve it, and the narrative is showing how they got here but not letting them off the hook for being cruel just because they are hurting.
i dont like ☝ what happens when you introduce this type of character to a large fandom
especially if she is a woman
google help me
the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny
random example of a kingism aka "he would not fucking say that"
this too is a kingism
one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:
i'm starting a collection
It’s cool how we found the secret elixir that cures all human disease and it’s in this guy’s bitey little mouth
What this guy’s bitey little mouth has been recently up to:
This is why scientists study everything.
Put this picture in your pocket, next time you get into an argument with someone about 'useless' scientific studies, ask them "Do you think that we should give funding to study the mating habits of endangered iguanas in the Sonoran desert, or should we be funding cures for alzheimer's and diabetes?" and then when they say "Of course we should be using that money to fund cures!" you can whip out this picture and say "trick question, it's the same thing"
adding because it is timely, with Artemis II: if someone says space research is a "waste" compared to all the "human problems" we could be "spending money on solving," you can tell them that space exploration has resulted in many, many advances and one of those is airbags.
the car airbag that saves lives is a result of rocket propulsion research. the tiny propulsion device created for potential rocket use is the technology that was adapted for early airbags. space travel research has saved countless lives because it improved one of our statistically most dangerous modes of travel. cars are, statistically, more dangerous than rockets, planes, trains, subways, or boats.
and today they're safer because we wanted to touch the stars.
baby formula! camera phones! cheaper/better water filtration systems! memory foam! scratch resistant lenses! so much comes from space program research
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one time i told a group of lesbian and bi women that i have never watched wicked and they were shocked, gagged, gooped, “but you’re queer. you like pussy. how have you not seen wicked?” yeah. well. i like pussy, not musicals?
i’m this exact post. all this just to fuck women.
“are you going to the lucy dacus concert?” no. i listen to gucci mane.
it’s monday i’m in the labyrinth
it’s tuesday i’m in the evil lab
it’s wednesday i’m in the time loop
it’s thursday i’m in the medieval torture apparatus
🌸it’s friday i’m in love🌸
it’s saturday i’m back in the evil lab bc my cells are divas
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
I'm working on a client report and my CEO looked over it and asked how made it. I asked him if he meant, like, the graphs and he said "No this whole thing is really nice with the text and the images put together so well. Did you use an AI tool or something to arrange it like a book?" And I just have him kind of blank look and said "No, I've been doing print layout and design for twenty five years. I'm building this as a template we can use with other clients that will just need images dropped in. And the graphs are all screenshots from tools we already use."
And then he gave me kind of a blank look and said "Okay, that is. Very good to know."
I suspect I've unexpectedly solved a problem that I was unaware of.
I read an article lamenting how indian mangoes don’t get exported and how bad it is for the economy and how much money we’d make if we could figure out the supply chains as if this country wouldn’t collapse into civil war if in addition to 50°c summers and 10 hr power cuts we had to cope with mangoes becoming unavailable or unaffordable because they’re all being shipped off to whole foods so patricia can pay $15 for one (1) dussehri for her summer salad
this is a good thing. mangoes will NEVER become a cheap and accessible fruit in the west while our children forget its taste. go fuck yourselves 😃!
I was wondering why this post was suddenly receiving notes and apparently it’s because someone crossposted this to twitter. whilst there has been a LOT of illiterate commentary on it (BJPvaadis asking where in India even has 10 hr power cuts vs neolibs calling me stupid) I would like to personally firebomb everyone who says dussheris are fine to export. goo kha!!! keede pade!!!!
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met someone once who said they don’t watch or enjoy movies, what?
If Project Hail Mary taught us anything it's that forced romance subplots have ruined movies. Too many stories about guys sacrificing themselves to save girls and not enough movies about guys sacrificing themselves to save their cool rock alien friend.
