Ravings of a Madwoman

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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VOTE IN THE PRIMARIES TOMORROW (March 1st)

These are so crucial in our upcoming presidential election.

Candidates such as Bernie Sanders are losing by the smallest percentage due to lack of younger voter turn out.

PLEASE don’t let the older generations choose our next president. It’s OUR FUTURE to decide upon, not necessarily theirs.

Reblog to spread awareness, also tag your state and who you plan on voting for.

Is already a “Baron”

Wears all black

Only goes out at night

Has one Romance and one Germanic language down; can easily find some place with empty castles

His father-in-law has slept in a coffin

Has a track record of reworking his ethical system to whatever suits his strongest interests; would definitely be able to rationalize eating people

Great at murder

Frequently seems to not know what decade it is

We also have a ton of american urban mythology around famous roadways and sites off the sides of roads

Archetypes like these occur to mark the places in the world where the veil goes thin and humans can have extra-worldly experiences, out of the ordinary way of living

So why wouldn’t transient spaces like rest stops where everyone is just passing through from one place to the next, never stopping for too long, not be a liminal space where spirits frequent, too

Three days later–Sunday–we were traveling back and decided to stop at that church to thank them. We found it thanks to the truck stop, but this time it was the truck stop that was open and the church that was closed. Neither of us remembered it looking so decrepit on the trip down, and granted we saw it first at night in a snowstorm, but you’d think we’d have noticed the boarded-up windows. So we asked in at the truck stop.

The church had been abandoned for ten years. And yet I still had one of their youth group programs under my sun visor, very clearly labeled for the previous week.

The Daily Show, February 9, 2016

context: ‘my immortal’ is an imfamous harry potter fanfic lmao

    No, Anne Boleyn did not seek to be Henry’s queen, not at the beginning, anyway.

    The first year of Henry and Anne’s relationship can be better described as sexual harassment in the workplace than a romance. Anne spent most of 1526 trying to tactfully dodge Henry’s advances. She had told him she would be no man’s mistress, but he didn’t respect that.  

    In February, he made a public declaration of his interest in Anne, hoping the fawning attention of the court would pressure her into giving into his advances. it didn’t work. Anne still would not become his mistress. Henry now spent more time in his wife’s quarters than he had in years, but it was to visit Anne where she couldn’t escape his attentions.

    In May, it got so bad that Anne actually quit her job as a lady in waiting and retreated to Hever, where she refused to answer Henry’s letters and sent back his gifts. Henry’s letters to her at this point are full of pouting complaints that she won’t write back to him.

    Henry still wouldn’t take “no” for an answer and chased after her. He went to stay with a cousin of Anne, Nicholas Carew, whose house was a convenient distance from Hever so he could ride over at his leisure. It wasn’t like Anne could refuse to receive him at the house. She refused wherever she had agency, but in this she did not. No one could refuse the king admittance.

    Anne had to walk a delicate balance. If she had offended the king, it would have put her entire family’s future in danger. She undoubtedly faced pressure from her family and friends - who were benefiting from the king’s attentions to Anne with a stream of offices, appointments, and titles - to keep the king “happy” and not anger him. And so Anne had to remain polite and friendly, smiling while she tried to duck away from his reaching hands.

    Anne wanted what every girl of the era wanted, to make a good marriage. She was intensely religious, something that’s often forgotten in her on-screen portrayals, an evangelical with a reformist zeal. No matter what the king offered her, she would not sleep with any man unless he was her lawfully-wed husband. But she couldn’t find a husband while the king was pursuing her. No man would ask for her hand and risk enraging the king. And the longer the king chased her, the less people believed Anne could still be a virgin. Her reputation was just as ruined as though she’d been the king’s mistress in truth.

    Later writers, seeing how things turned out, have posited that Anne planned the whole thing from the start, “luring” Henry away from his wife with her sexy feminine witchery. They imbue her with supernatural foresight, as if she somehow knew if she ignored him, refused him, and left court, it would drive him mad with lust and he would leave his wife for her. But that’s ridiculous.  Anne could not have possibly hoped Henry would make her his queen when he was chasing her back in 1526.

    In the past, Henry had always gracefully backed away when a lady indicated she wasn’t interested in being perused by him. Henry had a very fragile ego and was pained by being refused. His way was to sniff around and drop hints, and if the lady was cool toward his overtures, he would step back quickly and pretend the whole thing never happened. “Interested in her? Huh! Me? No way. Maybe she was interested in me, but I wasn’t into her!” 

    In Anne’s case, he wasn’t taking the hint. Anne was as blunt as she could be without being outright rude, but he kept coming back, offering her larger gifts, and promoting her family members to higher offices with greater income. Her family must have despaired when Anne left court because it put her prestigious career as a maid of honor in danger, but even that drastic move wasn’t enough to push Henry off his course.

    Thomas Wyatt, who watched the whole thing and may have been in love with Anne himself, wrote a poem about it, Whoso List to Hunt. He portrayed Anne as a deer, fleeing for her very life, with Henry and others in pursuit. But Henry has already put a collar around the deer’s neck, proclaiming the prize as his own, whether she likes it or not. And though Anne seems “tame,” she has a wild longing to be free. But later writers have portrayed it as though it was the deer luring Henry into the hunt.

    While everyone knew by 1526 that Henry wanted to divorce Katharine (he’d stopped sleeping with her years ago and had told several people he thought his marriage to her was invalid), everyone fully expected his next wife would be a princess of the blood, someone who would bring him a huge dowry and an alliance with a foreign power. A king marrying a mere gentlewoman for love? The idea was ridiculous. All the time he was trying to arrange Henry’s annulment, Wolsey was planning the king would marry a French princess. Even he, who probably knew the king better than anyone, didn’t think Henry would really marry Anne.

    In 1527, Henry asked Anne to marry him. Two things are important to note here. First of all, a royal proposal was not a request. A woman did not turn down a proposal of marriage from a king. She just couldn’t. (Ask Kateryn Parr, who was in love with another man when the king proposed.) It’s not like today, when a woman has agency in deciding her marital future. In those days, if a man of appropriate rank and wealth approached for a marriage, the girl’s father would decide if the union was good enough and if it was, the girl was expected to accept. If his rank was much higher than her own, or her father’s, the girl and her father had no little choice in the matter. They could appeal to higher authorities, such as the king or cardinal, and they might put a stop to the match, but the girl’s opinion on the matter was inconsequential. In this case, there was no higher authority to whom Anne could appeal if she didn’t want to marry Henry.

     Secondly, once Anne had accepted, they were legally bound to one another. A betrothal was almost as legally binding as a marriage itself, requiring a dispensation from the pope to dissolve. Once she had accepted, Anne had to put her effort into furthering her marriage. If the king had changed his mind at this point, Anne would have been ruined. Few men would have been willing to take the king’s discarded “mistress,” and even with a papal dispensation freeing her from the engagement, her marital prospects would have been dim.

    In short, there is no evidence whatsoever that Anne had a grand, cunning scheme to make herself queen. It would have been a ridiculous plan, and incredibly reckless. “I’m going to risk inciting the queen’s hatred, the king’s anger (potentially ruining our family), and destroying my reputation around Europe on the off chance that this time Henry won’t back away when I refuse him. Because I’m just so awesome, he won’t be able to quit me, you know.”

Her response to his advances was “Your wife I cannot be, both in respect of mine own unworthiness, and also because you have a queen already. Your mistress I will not be.”

Remember, Henry had a problem - he rarely managed to father a male child and when he did they were unhealthy. Only two of his male children survived infancy. One was Edward VI, who was the son of Henry VII’s last wife, Jane Seymour. He was apparently not a sickly child as some suggested, but he did become ill with a fever and died at the age of 15. The other was Henry FitzRoy - FitzRoy was the last name given at the time to acknowledged bastards of the king. FitzRoy was the son of another of Catherine’s ladies in waiting, Elizabeth Blount, with whom he had an affair when Catherine was heavily pregnant (a habit of his). Because of this he was convinced the problem was Catherine and he decided the best course of action was to get rid of his wife and marry somebody else. (At one point, FitzRoy, who was named Duke of Richmond, was likely to be named heir, but he died in a hunting accident). He used as an excuse the fact that Catherine had first been married to his brother, Arthur, and that the Bible said that was wrong. (The Bible also says somewhere else that it was the right thing to do, so…) 

Why did he pick Anne? Paradoxically, it might be because she had the spirit to refuse him. It does, however, appear that she was already pregnant with their one child to survive infancy when they got married., But then, who can say no to the king, ultimately?

She was not popular because a lot of people thought the king did the wrong thing in setting aside Catherine. They blamed it on her and, because one does not criticize the king, obviously the entire thing happened because Anne Boleyn was a slut and a seductress. And, of course, he cheated on her.

Then when she produced a stillborn son (after a miscarriage), he decided that meant this marriage was cursed as well. I also suspect that her enemies/Catherine’s supporters trumped up the charges against her. Their marriage was annulled (later reversed so their daughter could inherit) and she was executed for witchcraft, adultery and incest. (There’s no evidence she had relations with anyone other than the king). With modern sensibilities we can see that there was obviously a problem with Henry’s marriages: Henry.

His sexual encounters resulted in at least eleven pregnancies, possibly more than 13, but only four healthy children. (It’s possible there were more bastards, but even so…that’s a lot of miscarriages, still births and infant loss even for the time).

At that time, reproductive problems were generally believed to be the female’s fault and nobody would have dared suggest the king had a problem.

Anne’s rise, fall, and death were probably the result of something funky going on with Henry. One theory is that he actually had syphilis. Another is that he carried the rare Kell antigen, which could result in a partner, especially after the first pregnancy (which was a pattern with everyone but Catherine), rejecting the fetus.

Anne Boleyn was awesome and I will hear no harsh word against her. Here are some relevant quotes:

“But anon I remembered how many deeds of pity your goodness had done within these few years, and that without respect of any persons, as well to strangers and aliens as to many of this land, as well to poor as to rich…(her)…Christian mind is everywhere ready to help, succour and comfort them that be afflicted, troubled and vexed.” - Dowling, Maria. (1984) Anne Boleyn and Reform, Journal of Ecclesiastical History 35, no. 1

“And yet far more rich and precious were those works in the sight of God which she caused her maids and those about her daily to work in shirts and smocks for the poor. But not staying here her eye of charity, her hand of bounty passed through the whole land” - Ives, Eric. (2005) The Life and Death of Anne Boleyn. New ed. Wiley-Blackwell

“Also, how bountiful she was to the poor, passing not only the common example of other queens, but also the revenues almost of her estate; insomuch that the alms which she gave in three-quarters of a year, in distribution, is summed to the number of fourteen or fifteen thousand pounds; besides the great piece of money which her grace intended to impart into four sundry quarters of the realm, as for a stock there to be employed to the behoof of poor artificers and occupiers.” - ed. Dowling, Maria (1990) William Latymer’s Cronickille of Anne Bulleyne, Camden Miscellany XXX 39, 23–65

Which is probably a bit of an exaggeration financially speaking, but Anne considered charity one of the most fundamental duties of her faith. Anne, who was so massively unpopular with the people because they loved Catherine and blamed her for Henry’s fuckery and yet tried so very hard to be a good wife and queen and then goddamn Henry fucking Tudor threw his teddies out of the pram like a petulant child practically the second he found out she wasn’t going to be immediately useful to him.