that physical ache you get when you hear how to save a life or chasing cars

i want that really cliché friend group who takes long drives together and takes pictures of each other when they’re not looking and goes on random picnics and visits museum together fuck i want it so bad where y’all at

I don’t consider myself a comedian because I don’t really concern myself too much with jokes. I think I’ve dealt with any kind of trauma in my life with humor, and I was a fan of comedians and comedy growing up. I still am. But I never had that thing where, after Anchorman or something, I was “Okay, now I want to play a serial killer” or “Now I want to do something totally different.” That seemed kind of false to me.

ok but what if you married whomever was on your *phone* background

i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run its course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”

summer a.k.a. making plans with friends and never actually hanging out, losing all of my socializing skills over a period of 2 months, self loathing and laying in bed