¿amigo, que esta haciendo?

at the club doing the fork in the garbage disposal

fuck health issues fr. i should have a little screen that tells me exactly whats wrong and whag to do about it

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

disgraced nascar driver pulling over after a devastating loss and shooting the car in the head like an injured horse

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

My five year plan is to just see what happens