Edelweiss Barnes

Bucky Barnes x supersoldierF!reader Edelweiss (OFC)

A therapy session can change the perception of oneself? (Angst, mention of torture, mention of su!cide, bad self talk and bad self image, fluff)

Dr Reynor’ studio is neat and tidy, the giant picture of a forest, on the wall behind the sofa you’re sitting on, is placed to soothe the frustration of being closed between four walls. You watch the rain fall incessantly outside on the not so busy streets of Brooklyn Heights, the gentle pit pat against the glass is relaxing but the brisk click of your therapist’s pen brings you back to reality. You look at her and let out an exasperated sigh.

“You don’t talk, I write, remember?” She murmurs looking at you.

You exhale and you lower your gaze to your hands.

“since we talked about the tub, my nightmares got worse.” Your tone is more harsher than you wanted to, but it’s difficult to hide your frustration to not be able to sleep peacefully with your boyfriend. It’s a strange thing but you feel like you have a rock in your chest, a weight that makes it difficult for you to breathe, let alone sleep.

“Do you want to talk about what happens in your nightmares?” She asks, her tone is calm and even motherly.

“I’d prefer not to but I’m sure you’d be pushing it by telling me something like ‘talking about it makes it easier to move on’… easier my ass…” you reply bitterly before getting up from the sofa and nearing the window. “ there’s only one thing that I know for sure: I don’t want to feel ever again the way I felt back there…” You whisper looking outside.

“If you’re not ready to talk about your nightmares I’ll wait…it’s ok, Y/N.” Dr Reynor replies gingerly, like she’s talking to some scared animal.

“None of this is fucking ok…” you bite back. “ being here is not ok, what happened to me is not ok, what I became is not ok. They broke me and I’ll never be fixed” you can’t help the bitterness in your tone.

“What makes you think that you need to be fixed?” She asks quietly, you can feel her eyes on you.

You chuckle and you turn to look at her “ can’t you see?” You gesture to yourself with a scoff.

She smiles at you “ you’re not the darkness you endured. You are the light that refused to surrender. You’re a survivor Y/N, but you don’t need to be fixed. you need to understand the person you are now and you need to remember that you’re not alone. You have James…and now even the Avenger’s crew” her words hit you hard, even if it’s difficult for you to really believe them.

You turn again to look outside “ after the tub, they couldn’t wipe me because doing both would had been too much for my already fried brain. That’s when I had some glimpse of my memories…fragments…I remember lying on the bed into my cell and even if I was exhausted I couldn’t sleep or even breathe sometimes…. Everything in that cell remembered me of James… every bloody time they left us alone, every kiss, every scar or bruise that we left on each other…we were so emotion starved that sometimes even pain was ok…just because it made us feel something…and the fact that he was gone without me was overwhelming” you murmur quietly closing you eyes, your memories so vivid.

“back there I thought several times about what it would be like if I killed myself...if he would miss me...would he cry?…but then the thought that he was gone and he left me there got me like’ why should he care?’ Why should I care?” You pause “ you know that he wants to propose? Did he tell you? I found the ring hidden in our closet…” you chuckle bitterly. “If he thinks that he was fucked up, when he was the winter soldier, he must reconsider because I got worse…really worse…In that cell I shutted down, I went completely numb…and every time they got me out for some mission it was always a bloodbath ….the more gruesome, the better…they wanted a killer machine? I obliged them…sometimes even enjoyed the killing…” you confess, your tone heavier then before, shame and disgust easily recognizable. “How can he desire to marry a damaged good like me?” You whisper just before the timer rings gently reminding you that your time is up.

“Don’t mind showing me the exit…I know the way…” you murmur pushing both your hands in your leather jacket’s pocket before moving toward the open door, as you are her last patient of the day and the two of you are the only ones left in the building.

She stands from her seat “You’re not damaged good, Y/N. What you did back there was a survival behavior. None here can judge you for that…. We’ll talk about that next time” she murmurs calm without trying to stop you.

Once outside the building you turn up your face to look at the cloudy sky, it’s raining heavier than when you get here. The chime of your phone claims your attention and when you take it out of your pocket you notice a message from Natasha.

“ mission alert. Meet me at the tower. Hill’s office in 30.”

“Copy. I’m on my way” you reply before getting your hood up and stepping into the rain. You make just a couple of steps before your vision goes black and you collapse on the sidewalk.

When you open your eyes, the white light on the ceiling is blinding you and you let out an annoyed whimper before you squint and turn your head to the side trying to evade that annoyance. Your head is pounding and you feel disoriented.

“She’s awake” you hear a feminine voice whisper gently.

“Thanks God…love, I’m here…” The voice of your boyfriend is low, you can feel the relief in his tone and finally you open your eyes to look at him.

“Where…where am I? What happened?…” you pause for a moment “ my head hurts so bad…” you murmur quietly trying to sit in the bed.

“We’re at the tower, at the medical bay…you went to you therapy session with dr Reynor…you had to meet with Tasha a couple hours ago…when you didn’t show up she alerted me and then dr Reynor called, telling me she found you collapsed on the sidewalk outside her studio…you scared the shit out me, doll” he explains while his hand caress lightly your face. You sigh loudly before slumping against the pillows. You feel an itch on your arm and when you look down you see that you have an IV attached. Before you can articulate any of your concerns you hear the door of your room open and Bruce made his entrance.

“Well, well…look who’s awake!” He murmurs too cheerfully for you taste. You let out a frustrated groan.

“ you scared us a little but don’t worry..it’s seems you just got a mild concussion and you’re a bit dehydrated…nothing too concerning for your condition…” Bruce replies with an encouraging smile.

“My condition? What do you mean?” You murmurs, looking at him with concern, you know for sure that you boyfriend got the same expression looking at the scientist.

“I…I thought you already knew…” Bruce stutters, trying to arginate the situation.

“What are you talking about Bruce? Am I dying?” You retort with a hint of panic in your voice.

He starts to laugh loudly and you give him a murderous look.

“No no…for heaven sake no! You’re going to be a mum” he murmurs giving you a reassuring smile.

“Wait, what?” Bucky asks with wide eyes. You try to rise from the bed but you feel your head spinning and nausea coming up leaving a disgusting taste on your tongue so you slump again on the pillows.

“Bad time for a joke Bruce…” you reply bitterly while you search for some water. The scientist is looking you movement and promptly gives you a glass with some ice cubes and water.

“ recently have you experienced some brain fog, nausea, maybe throwing up sometimes? Sensibility to smells? The sudden urge to eat ice or to take a nap in the middle of the day?” He asks politely.

“Yeah, my health hasn’t been great lately and so? My bloody nightmares are keeping me awake most of the nights…it natural that I want to nap during the day!” You reply quietly.

“When you had your last period, Y/N?” He asks you.

You look at him with wide eyes and for a moment you’re speechless. You don’t know when your last period was. You turn your head to search for your clothes, you know that your phone has the answer you need.

“My phone…I need my phone…” you whisper and you see Bucky promptly searching your jacket to give you your phone. With trembling hands you search the app where you track your menstrual cycle and to your surprise,when you open it, you see that your period is 4weeks late.

You gasp quietly and you lift your gaze from the phone to your boyfriend.

“Ok, I get it, you need to talk… I’ll leave you to it…” Bruce murmurs before exiting the room leaving the two of you alone.

The silence between you two is heavy. You look at him, his jaw clenched and his gaze low, as it’s too much to bear. He feels responsible to put this weight on your shoulders, who would want to carry the former winter soldier’s child?

“ I… I can’t be a mother…” you whisper, your eyes full of tears, the words you spoke with dr Reynor are haunting you: why would he want YOU to be the mother of his child? You and your fucked up brain.

He sighs quietly.

“ I know it’s a difficult situation and I know that’s my fault…I should‘ve been more careful…” he murmurs, guilt in his voice “ I shouldn’t burden you with this situation…I know that you love me and I’m grateful for that every single day and I’ll be for the rest of my life but I know it’s too much to carry my child.. who would want a father like the winter soldier?” He concludes with a whisper lowering his head.

“No, no…” you whisper cupping his face to look at him in the eyes, you can feel his pain and it kills you every time he felt so insecure due to the past he endured, he never had a choice. “ no James, you’d be a wonderful father…attentive, generous, protective, a perfect father…it’s me…I’m the one fucked up…I can’t be a mother…after all they did to me, I’m too damaged…I can’t be a good mother…and this child don’t deserve a mother like me…” you started to quietly pouring down all your doubts, all the fears that are haunting you, your sense of unworthiness, the “truth” that you think you had the choice to become what you become.

“Don’t you ever, EVER, speak like that again!” The way he’s grasping you by the arms, shaking you slightly to gave his words more power leave you speechless.

“You’re not too damaged, you’re the bravest, kindest being I’ve ever known in my entire life, despite what happened to you, you managed to explore your own darkness and save your heart. You stayed pure even if you walked through a fucking hell.” His choice of words is kicking you in the gut.

“I’m not as pure as you think!” You shout with desperation.

“ you are! Do you think I don’t know what if feels like to numb yourself and become what they wanted you to be? It’s easier than being wiped out every single time! You did what you had to do to survive and you can’t forgive me and do not forgive yourself for living and experiencing the exact same damn thing!” He shouts back.

Your sobs start silently before taking every fiber of your being and you fully start to cry, he hugs you tightly and you realize that the weight you felt on your chest is disappearing.

“You’re not too damaged. You’re not what they made you become.you’re strong as vibranium, love.and yes, you’re pure… You’re not even a ray of sunlight, you’re the whole fucking sunshine….and a little bit of hurricane…”he whispers in your ear while gently caressing your hair until your sobs subside.

He sits on the bed and he gently maneuvers you to sit in his lap so he can look at you in the face.

“Love, I know it’s a difficult situation and I’ll accept and I’ll love you no matter what you choose to do. It’s your body and it’s your choice. Do you want to make a family together?” He murmurs quietly.

“I’ve always wanted a family of my own…” you whisper “ I want a family with you…but I’m scared…” you confess. He hugs you.

“ that’s ok…if you want this…if you’ll have me…we’re in this together…” he murmur kissing the crown of your head.

“ you know that Dr Reynor will freak out when she’ll know that we’re having a baby?” You joke and the laugh that vibrates in his chest makes you giggle while now you feel the weariness of the whole day upon you.

" I think I'll take a nap..." you whisper softly before snuggling against your boyfriend.

Bucky Barnes x supersoldierF!reader Edelweiss (OFC)

After your confession about the tortures you had to endure, your nightmares are worst than ever…[Tw: angst, depiction of tortures, violence, PTS, swearing, Rumlow being a prick, mention of death and su!c!de (if I forgot something please let me know)]

I’m sorry this one is a little angsty… I’ve got a lot in my head and I’ve been a little off…just needed to cry and someone to take care of me like Bucky

The feeling of the vibranium handcuffs gripping your wrists is uncomfortable. They’re tight and the metal is digging into your skin painfully, you’re bleeding but it’s not important as for the serum you’ll be healed in a blink of an eye.

“Please…” you whisper under your breath as you can only see him preparing the tub for this session.

“Shut up you useless whore…” he growls moving towards you gripping harshly your face with his scarred hand “ you had just one job: keep the winter soldier entertained so he couldn’t escape but you failed….and his buddy did this to me…”- he pointed his other hand to his horribly scarred face - “ you’re so useless that even the winter soldier himself wanted to get rid of you, once free he didn’t even look back for you…” he rasps venomously. You close your eyes trying to fight back the tears because you know how much worse it will be if he sees you cry. Still, you don’t want to relive again the suffocating feeling of the fogginess of being inside the water too long, with the terror on how many times he will repeat this torture to you.

You’re much stronger than him because of the serum, but once Bucky went rogue they wiped and reprogrammed you so Rumlow became your handler and you couldn’t lay a hand on him.

The sounds of the water filling the tub and the ice gently cracking is making you numb. This time he doesn’t even bother to undress you.

*I can’t take this anymore * you think exhausted, silently hoping that this time will be the last time and finally your body will give up and you can fuck this asshole goodbye. You don’t want to die, but if this mean that you can finally be at peace, than you’ll gladly take the chance.

The way he manhandled you to sit into the tub let you sense that this time he has so much pent up rage inside and that maybe this could be really your last time.you can feel his hand pressing against the base of your throat, just letting you take a quick breathe before pushing you under the water surface.

The whimper that flew from your lips mixed with your squirming wakes you boyfriend. He senses your discomfort and he knows that you’re having a nightmare.

“Love wake up…it’s just a dream…wake up” he whispers in your ear but you can’t hear him.

In your nightmare you’re under the surface, your screams are muffled but you persist even if it means to breath part of the water you’re in, in the real world the agonizing scream that’s leaving your mouth put your super soldier boyfriend on high alert. Your body is trembling violently but he manages to grip both your arms and shakes you firmly.

“It’s just a dream, it’s just a dream…wake up!” He shouts and this time his voice is reaching your subconscious mind slowly waking you up. As consciousness hits you, you gasp for air and the unpleasant sensation at the pit of your stomach gives you just the time to push your boyfriend apart and run to the in-suite bathroom to retch your guts out.

“Love…” he’s stationing near the doorframe, his voice is soft but you can feel he’s worried because of the whirring sound of his prosthetic hand that is clenching and unclenching repeatedly.

You close the lid on the toilet and flush it, then you timidly raise your gaze to him, you feel so ashamed for the state you’re in.

“I’m sorry..” you manage to whisper before lowering your gaze with tears streaming down your face, your knees against your chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible. Suddenly you feel his arms around you and his warmth embracing you.

( I don’t know who’s the artist but I love this piece. If you know who they are, please let me know so I can give the right credit, thanks)

Bucky Barnes x supersoldierF!reader Edelweiss (OFC)

Same as Bucky, one of the conditions for your pardon was weekly mandatory Therapy sessions. this one take to the surface a very painful memory that could mess with your relationship with the former Winter Soldier. (Angst,past trauma, depiction of violence, past torture, memory of Rumlow being a prick, smut, unprotected sex, edging, if i forget something let me know).

The more you walk, heading home from your mandatory weekly therapy session with dr Reynor, the more you feel the anger flares through your whole being.

As usual she was able to read through the lines, poking emotions you’d like to bury in a very deep place, maybe forget them once and for all. This time the unfortunate trigger was something that you unwillingly confessed between your teeth on the last session: your inability to think on taking a bath as a relaxing thing. While Bucky was hiding, regaining his memory, you were still in the hands of Hydra, especially in Rumlow’s, who used and tortured you as if through you he could get his revenge on Bucky and Steve for what happened to him when the Triskelion collapsed.

The worst of his tortures was the Tub, as he called it. worse than waterboarding, devilishly cruel and sadistic: a bathtub filled with water and ice, his rage and all your will to live. your resilience amplified by the super soldier serum running through your veins. Sometimes he also used a cloth to cover your face before sinking your bounded form into the iced water, every time longer then before but never too much to let you die.

You thought that the better solution was bury your personal inferno in a far and dark part of your damaged brain but dr Reynor thinks otherwise.

“You need to talk about painful things if you want to heal…” she explained.

Fucking doctor.

So focused on your emotions you didn’t notice that you’re already home, with uncertain hand you flip the key, opening the door and the familiar smell of lavander and vervain invades your nostrils.

“Hey doll, I’m in the kitchen, hope you’re hungry I made dinner” you hear Bucky as soon as you set foot through the door, he heard you coming in with his super soldier hearing.

Hearing his voice, in the state of mind in which you are, only make your anger more acute that you almost felt sick. Silent, you walk into the kitchen, your mind up to find a way to let him pay his unknown sin. You made it to the stove, nearing him and from your expression he knows that this session was a really hard one.

“Hi…” he murmurs in a soft tone.

You don’t reply, with a practical move you shut the stove and grab the front of his Henley taking him with you to the dining room until you shove him onto the couch.

“That was a hard one huh…” he continues trying to understand what you need from him. You get rid of your leather jacket, your boots, your jeans and your panties before straddling him and grabbing his hair with one hand.

“Shut the fuck up Barnes” you hiss against his lips before taking his wrist and direct his bionic hand between your legs. Without any other word he starts to move his vibranium fingers, caressing your folds. You let out an involuntary sigh, your body recognizes instantly his touch but your mind chooses to resist the pleasure because you need to be wide awake as he needs to feel the same pain you felt when Runlow tortured you.

You let both of your hands down, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans. You can already feel the warmth radiating from his skin, with ease he buckles lightly his hips to let his jeans and briefs slide down just the bit to let his hard cock free, his fleshy hand goes up, caressing you face.

“Don’t fucking touch me..” you hiss abruptly, earning a look from him, then you align yourself and slowly you sink on his cock.

You’re not completely ready and the stretch of his size, burn, making you whimper but also keeping you grounded. He exales deeply and both his hands are now at your waist trying to slow you or better, stop your movements.

“What are you doing, doll? You’re not ready for this” he murmurs, concerned, his eyes wondering on your face trying to decipher what’s on your mind but you have your best unreadable expression.

You grab the hem of his Henley and with a fluid movement you take it off from him, forcing his hands away from your hips.

“I said: don’t fucking touch me” you repeat growling before sinking another time. He let out a soft grunt and keeps his hands from touching you as you asked.

You push both of your hands on his shoulders and soon you enstablish a slow but steady pace, one you know that makes him crazy when you squeeze your walls while sinking down until he’s balls deep into you.

He’s grunting and you know he’s restraining himself from touching you as you asked but you can feel he’s dying to do so as you can also feel his orgasm approaching. You accelerate your movement as if you want to make him cum faster but as soon as you feel his cock twitch inside you, you slow down.

You repeat this pattern of steady pace, the acceleration and then the abrupt slow down as many times as you feel he’s near his orgasm until you have him breathless under you.

“What are you doing doll…?” He asks,his hands on your arms, real concern in his tone. He has never seen you like this and something inside him screams that there’s something wrong.

“You left me… when you were on the run…” the words struggle to get out “ you left me behind… you left me in his hands…you never try to come and get me…” you hiss, your eyes full of tears of rage. He clench his teeth, he knows whom you’re talking about:Rumlow.

“He… he did things to me…” you feel a surge of anger coursing through you and your hand go grab his hair harshly “ you let him did that to me…” now your tears are running through your face. “ I hated you so much…every time he touched me, every time he tried to…” you choke a sob, closing your eyes and clenching your teeth as if the memory itself is too painful. You take a breath to ground yourself. “Every time he tried to drown me… I was wishing you would come and save me…but you never came and I fucking hated you for that.” You finally confess, sitting still in his lap, his length still sheathed inside you.

When you look into his eyes you can see his guilt showing. “ I tried..” he whispers “ I tried so many times to come and get you but I was so afraid… I was so confused… I’ll never forgive myself for letting you down, for leaving you alone… that’s why everyday I’m trying to make it up to you, to give you the life you deserve, the man you deserve” he murmurs fully vulnerable. His sincerity makes something inside you switch and every ounces of hatred and resentment you had crumble leaving you in tears. He hugs you and slowly he starts to move easing the tension inside your body, igniting the primal instinct of mating, the sensation of him so deep inside you that you feel like you can’t breathe if he stop moving. You let out a sob of frustration.

“I’m here…i promise I’ll never leave you alone…” he whispers but you let your hand caress his lips, shushing him. You feel his thumb pressed against your clit and you let out a sigh. despite your unconscious way to punish yourself for wishing that someone else saved you from that nightmare, denying yourself your relief while you edged him, before, he knows too well your body. His touch sends waves of pleasure through you, electrifying every nerve ending. You arch your back, craving more of his touch, as he skillfully explores every inch of your body. The intensity between you grows, fueled by a mutual desire that cannot be contained.

“ let go…please…” he begs in the most desperate pleading tone you ever heard from him while his hands are guiding your figure up and down his shaft in a constant but deep pace.

“I can’t..” you sob resisting the wave of your surging orgasm.

“please Y/N…” his voice’s a whisper, he cups sweetly your face with both of his hands to make you look at him in the eyes and only now you notice that he’s crying too.

“ i know i messed up, I should’ve come and take you with me, i should’ve killed him myself but I can’t go back and change that, please let me love you and make it up to you now and for the rest of my days…” his words and his dedication are pouring liquid fire inside your veins and you feel your orgasm push aside your silly resistance and explode leaving your body quivering and a choked cry escapes your mouth.

He grunts in relief feeling you coming, a look at you it’s enough to trigger his own release. You watch him come undone, the way he close his eyes, his lips slightly parts and a profound moan vibrates in his chest makes you clench more while you feel his cock twitches emptying in you.

You close lightly your eyes and you gently rest your forehead against his. One of your hand is on his chest, right on his heart and you can clearly feel his accelerate heartbeat.

“I fucking love you and I’m so scared to loose you…” he confesses and you feel his thumb caress your lower lip.

“I’m not going anywhere, James… I love you too and I’m here to stay by your side…” you whisper before searching for his lips.

In the last decade, I’ve noticed that a key word has been a constant in my journey : devotion.

It’s a fascinating word. The willing to devote oneself to someone or something one truly believes in, I think it’s the most powerful and selfless act of love one can do.

Not long ago I’ve had a Human design chart reading and guess what’s the word to describe my purpose? Exactly: devotion.

Now I deeply understand my long lived fascination with the myth of Sigyn and it hit me hard on how I ended up in my atypical love relationship (one kind that people outside of it don’t understand or judge for the many differences we have), on how I feel about it and how I live it.

For the first time I’ve felt seen. I’ve understood that it’s a part of me, of who I am and that’s ok if others don’t understand; it’s just for me to understand it, live it fully and be true to my heart.

So here’s my toast for lady Sigyn:

To the Devotion herself

To the purest of heart,

To the holder of the bowl,

To the loving and grieving mother,

To the wife of the unfairly punished one,

Let me learn how to be true to my heart, to love with my whole being, to be steadfast and loyal.

Bucky Barnes x supersoldierF!reader Edelweiss (smut)

We take a step back discovering how was the relationship between the winter soldier and Edelweiss. Hope you enjoy.

The two female guards conduct you to the locker room, their rifles pointed at you, ready for shooting if you dare to make a false move. Sweat cover your body after your training. Sometimes they put you out of your cryo cage to give a demonstration to the new reclutes. they always underestimates you because you have a too pretty face and a hot body to be a skilled supersoldier and killer. You look like more to a bombshell with characteristics long platinum hair, blue eyes and curves that can make every man falls on their knees. You know too well that everytime that assumption pop up from a new group of reclutes someone will visit soon the infirmary because you'll be ordered to kick the poor soul's ass without an ounce of mercy. That's how they'll remember the shivering fear of underestimate something apparently beautiful but lethal.

This time wasn't different but they leave you out of the ice also for another reason.

"undress and take a shower" one of the guards barks at you in german. You obey without a word, taking off your white tank top, then your black shorts, followed from your sport bra and your panties. You untie your high pony tail and you move over the showers. The showers room is silent, noone is there except for you and your guardians.

"Ah...look like they send him to have some fun" you hear the guards whispering malignantly before you reach the handle to start the shower.

You put your head first under the water stream,facing the wall and letting your hair getting soaked. You moan softly as the hot water ease the subtle pain in your muscles.

"Edelweiss" his voice is sharp and low. A shiver run down your spine at the way your new given name is rolling out of his tongue. You had sense him even before he steps in the showers room.

You close your eyes and you tilt your head back, letting small drops of water slide down your throat to the valley of your breasts.

"winter soldier" you reply in russian, unimpressed " Weren't you taught that this is the women's locker room?" You mock him passing your hands between your hair.

"I've finished a mission and you're my reward" he replies coming near you, fully clothed.

"take me then" you murmur stilling your movement.

You know well the winter soldier, you were captured by him and taken in Siberia for your conditioning and then to an HYDRA's base in the italian alps to be used as needed in the crisis management on the European continent. Before the conditioning you were a very skilled and valuable agent in the italian intelligence. You were very good at your job and, after your last successful mission, your boss had decided to give you a few days' leave to relax. You were together with some friends, heading to the cabin you had rented on the swiss mountains to enjoy a few days skiing (one of your passions) when the winter soldier came to pick you up. None of your friends survived, not that you remember them now, anyway.

When you were an agent you heard stories about him, like some kind of ghost to scare off newcomers, not knowing that one day you would become one of his missions, let alone be his prize and diversion.

You were tortured for months, you tried to resist the conditioning with every ounce of determination you had but they broke your willpower and your very soul in so many tiny pieces that you'll never be the same.

He moves his fleshy hand to grab the back of your neck in a possessive grip, you stay still, waiting for the right moment to knock him down. You exhale and open your eyes slowly, glancing at him and smirking before moving, using the wall at your advantage to do a perfect backflip and twisting his wrist so that you break free from his grip. You crouch down slightly and land a series of punches to his right side knocking the air out of him. He squats, lightly coughing, before glancing at you with a smirk on his lips. This excites him and you know that.

"Never said it would be easy" you murmur assuming a difensive posture, ready to move.

Your resistance arouses him, it's like a bolt of excitement that goes from his chest right down to his cock. He knows that physically you can fight him back, thanks to the supersoldier serum, and he likes to test and challenge your strength but he's given order to do with you what he want as long as he doesn't corrupt your face. He moves rapidly, his punches precise, with little expenditure of strength, you dodge them easily, backing down til your back touch the wall behind you. His metal hand reaches your throat too easily, squeezing and taking you up from the floor as you weight nothing.

"you're mine" he growls in russian as you squirm in his hold, trying to breathe. The wetness between your thighs is becoming uncomfortable. Your body is trained to give him pleasure and reacts instinctively to his proximity. You try with both of your hands to free yourself from his metal grasp, unsuccessfully. His fleshy hand tries to reach between your thighs to cup your sex but you resist and you try to kick his groin.

"Stop it" He warns, he lowers more his voice. You feel like a prey fallen into the hunter trap and as a reflex you're trying to fight for your life.

"Dämmerung" he breathes and, as this word rolls out of his tongue, you go limp and cease every attempt of resistance. As part of your conditioning they use some code words in german (your second language after italian), pronounced by the winter soldier himself, to unleash your killer self or sedate every kind of resistance from your part.

You feel his fingers tracing your folds and entering your heat, you whimper without shame, closing your eyes as you're savoring his touch.

"So ready and needy for me...why you have to fight it?" He whispers in your ear as he open slowly his metal hand, leaving you free to breathe easily.

"I-it excites you..." you reply stuttering as he moves slowly his fingers in and out.

He hums in approval when you arch your back, as the tip of his fingers brush the sweet spot that makes you shiver, a moan vibrate in your throat as he traps your mouth in his.

He pushes his fingers out and Instinctively your legs are wrapped against his waist, your drenched core brushing against his tactical trousers, the rough fabric separates your sex from his. He growls at the light stimulation and you buck your hips slightly to hear again that sound coming from his mouth.

He's the fist of HYDRA, the winter soldier, the terrible weapon of the most corrupted and evil organisation in the world but it makes your knees weak hearing him goes feral to have you, to be inside you and fuck you senseless.

Your hands move to his chest holster unfastening the buckles eager to unleash completely his appetite. You rip his leather vest apart and latch onto his neck, nipping his skin with your teeth while descending on his chest.

Another growl rumbles in his throat and you feel his erection straining in his trousers. You let your tongue swirl on his skin and you try to suck a little purple hickey on his chest. he grab a fist of your hair with his metal hand and pull slightly in a warning, you glance at him, smirking, as you unlock your legs from his waist to kneel gracefully in front of him. His other hand cup your chin and his thumb trace your lower lip, there's a fire so dark and lustful burning in his eyes that the promise to burn with him is an irresistible sin you want to give in.

Your hands go unfastening his trousers and freeing his raging erection. You let out a strained whimper as you see a bead of precum at the tip of his cock. You lick your lips before letting him in. He groans tilting his head back, savoring the warmth of your mouth. You let your tongue caress his shaft while you retract slowly and let him in again, fully. You repeat the action, your movements very controlled as you want him to feel all the sensations you can give him. Once again he slammed it in and you feel the tip of his cock touching the back of your throat and you close harshly your fists to suppress your gag reflex, he moans forcing a little bit more the barrier of your throat. You can feel him twitching inside your mouth and you try to retract but his metal hand stills you at the back of your head. Suddenly tears are spilling from your eyes on your cheeks because you can't breathe, you bang your fists against his thighs and he let you free.

"Your mouth is almost hot as your cunt..." he murmurs while you retract sputtering and coughing while some saliva slide down your chin. He doesn't give you time to sulk or breathe, both of his hands grab you by the shoulders to get you on your feet, then he turns you so you face the wall. You feel both of his hands grabbing your hips and then he takes you.

"CAZZO" you yelp crashing both of your hands into the wall in front of you. With one swift thrust he's all the way in. He's stretching you delightfully and your walls squeezing him in as that is the right place where he needs to stay, where he belongs.

"You're squeezing me like a vice..." he growls lowly as he start to move. You whimper and let him use you as he want, after all that's your purpose: appease the winter soldier needs.

"I'm gonna fuck this rebellious attitude of yours out for good..." he murmurs finding the rhythm to have you writhe against him. You're so groundend in the physical sensations that he's making you feel that you're unable to formulate a word, just a bunch of whimpers and moans are leaving your mouth. You try to reach his hair with one of your hand and you succeed at the same time his metal hand grab your throat and press your back hard against his chest. His cold fingers are squeezing lightly your throat and you feel the initial wave of your orgasm surging through you.

"Oh...you're so close...aren't you?..." he whispers in your ear pumping you up and then stopping abruptly.

You wail, showing your disapproval.

"You want it, right? You want to cum?" He asks in a whisper against tour ear before nipping your earlobe with his teeth.

You whimper and nod lightly while your soft walls are clamping his erection still sheathed inside you.

"Only the good girls can cum...have you been good?...I don't think so..." he whispers and you tug sightly his hair.

"Please..." you manage to reply under your breath. You know that having you begging is another thing that drives him out of control.

"Please what?" He continues as now he's pinching one your nipple between his fingers. You yelp, arching your back.

"Please, make me cum..." you breathe, trembling in your discomfort.

"Are you gonna be good?" He asks softly, his fingers now tracing circles on your abdomen.

"Yes..." you answer, pure desperation in your tone.

" I can't hear you...are you gonna be good for me?" he mocks you.

"YES! PLEASE...PLEASE...PLEASE" You shout on the verge of tears. One of your hand moves behind you, trying to touch him and make him move, the other reach his hand and squeezes it lightly.

He grunts hearing you beg and slowly he starts to move again. His strokes painfully calm and brutally precise, touching the spot inside you that makes you a shivering mess.

"Pleasepleaseplease..." you repeat whimpering while you feel again your orgasm approaching.

He fastens his pace and now guides his fleshy hand from your abdomen to the apex of your thighs, pinching between his fingers your bundle of nerves.

"Scream for me..." he orders you and you comply, feeling the orgasm crashing over you violently. For a moment you feel only the sound of your blood roaring in your veins and then a sudden peace invades your body as you feel his thrusts becoming sloppy and a strangle roar from his throat as he came inside you copiously.

He holds you against him before you both collapse on your knees. you can hear the rhythm of both of your hearts calm down.

"Let me wash you up, soldat...we better use our time out of the ice at the best of our possibilities..." you whisper turning your head slightly to watch him in the face. He nods quietly, holding you a little more tighter.

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

Notes:

•Cazzo: italian word for "fuck".

•the dialogue is in russian. It's my headcanon that both the characters speaks russian while they're together 'cause it's the language they hear the most as their conditioning was done in russian, however mothertongue die hard so our FC (who is italian) when overwhelmed turn to speak italian.

• Edelweiss is italian but grew up bilingual (the virtue of growing up in a border zone) so she speaks fluently german.

Bucky Barnes x supersoldierF!reader (smut and fluff)

I had this idea some time ago and I just wanted to write some stories with this concept of a ex HYDRA supersoldier reader known as Edelweiss...hope you like it 💜

Tw: mention of torture,mental manipulation, nightmares, smut.

You wake with the discomfort of your nightmare still clinging into your very soul, with unsteady hand you wipe tears from your eyes. You look at the clock on your nightstand : 4 am. You move out of the tangled sheets on the floor with a sigh, knowing that you won't sleep anymore so you better use this time to make some breakfast and maybe do a light stretching routine.

you move down the stairs aiming for the kitchen while mentally you're trying to distract yourself thinking of the things you must do along the day.

As soon as you go down the last step you hear a soft groan from the living room. you approach the cabinet near the entrance where you do keep hidden, in the drawer, some light weapons: a gun, a knuckle-duster, a pair of knives. Quietly you open the drawer and you reach the hidden knives, you take a breath preparing yourself to knock down the intruder. You silently enter the living room, knives in hands, your killer reflexes on high alert. You approach the couch where you heard the groan coming from and to your surprise you find your boyfriend, fully clothed from his last mission, lying there, snoring slightly.

Suddenly you feel like crumbling, you walk past the couch, resting your knives on the coffee table before curling up close to your boyfriend's face.

"Love...wake up..." you whisper softly in his ear, being very careful not to touch him before he wakes up. Both of you, with your murderous pasts, have had some trouble getting used to the intimacy of a couple's daily gestures.

He growls softly. "Bucky...love..." you repeat and he opens his eyes on you. He blink, disoriented before recognising he's home,rubbing his eyes.

"Doll..." he groans.

"I remember you telling me you would come home this evening..." you whisper while you gently caress his face.

"We finished earlier...and I was missing you....i had planned, after a couple of hours of sleep, to surprise you with your favorite breakfast, in bed...but it seems that you have surprised me..." he replies smiling and taking your hand and kissing the palm. Then he sit, pulling you in his lap.

You straddle him and he cups your face with both his hands before taking your lips in a sweet kiss.

"I need you Jamie..." you whisper against his lips, resting both of your hands on his chest. For a moment he tenses, you rarely call him that way.

"You had another nightmare?" He asks gentle, now caressing your bare arms. You nod, looking away as to direct your thoughts elsewhere.

"What do you need me to do, doll?" He murmurs softly while his vibranium fingers caress your cleavage through the fabric of his shirt that you wear to sleep,up to your neck until they reach your chin, taking it to make you look at him in the eyes.

"Talk to me, love...tell me what you need..."he repeats lowering his voice. He knows how much important is for you to make and express your choice as you were deprived of that possibility for a very long time, like him. You were tortured and abused as an assett in an HYDRA experimental base in the italian alps. He felt especially guilty about you, because it was him, well the winter soldier, who captured and give you in the hands of HYDRA' s team who experimented on you. He knows all about your conditioning as he perfected your combat skills and because you were made for him, to have a sort of distraction, a kind of stress toy not so easy to broke. Once he had back his mind he made sure to track down and neutralise all of the scientists that partecipated in the sperimentation and after the avengers captured you he made sure of being present in every aspect of your rehabilitation. He always had a soft spot for you and he knows how difficult is to be back after being brainwashed.

"Love me...please..." you whisper, choking a sob "make me forget their touch..."

He hums and take your lips in a breathtaking kiss then he slowly peppers your jaw with kisses until he reaches for the sweet spot behind your ear that makes you moan.

Your hands travel to his leather jacket, opening it and pulling it down his arms urgently. Now you tear apart his blue henley to let your fingers touch his bare chest, he growls and the vibration in his chest reverberates right between your thighs.

"I need you...i need you... i need you..." you repeat feverishly and he grabs the plump flesh of your cheeks to steady you as he stands up. You lock your legs around his waist, brushing your bare cunt against his jeans where you can feel his growing erection. He moves up to the stairs, into your bedroom and then he notices the tangled sheets of the floor, not far from the bed, which is untouched, since he went on mission.

"You slept again on the floor?" He asks softly. He used to do the same before knowing you.

"I cannot sleep in the bed if you're not there..." you whisper shyly.

"Now I'm here doll...I'll make you forget them...concentrate on me...on the pleasure I can give you..." he murmurs laying you down on the bed.

"You're so cute in my shirt...but I need to feel you..." he breaths before tearing the fabric apart with his vibranium hand. You usually sleep completely bare, cause you like feeling the warmth that radiates from his skin.

"It smells like you..." you whisper in response, explaining why you're wearing his shirt. You gasp as his mouth latches against one of your nipple. His metal fingers are tracing your stomach and down to your folds. You whimper and you open more your legs to let him have an easier access as he brushes the tip of his fingers on your clit and then down your slit.

"Please...please Jaime...I need you..." you cry out and he obliges kissing his way down to your cunt until his lips meet your swollen bud. You shudder as he sucks and licks with extreme precision, taking you right trough the edge.

"Oh god... yes... I'm cumming...I'm cumm.." you choke on your words when the orgasm washes over you. You move your hand to his head, intertwining your finger through his hair as he drinks your release.

He loves the way you wound your fingers through his hair, how you feel so safe with him to lose control and let him takes care of you without a single doubt.

"You're so sweet doll..." he growls between your thighs, humping lightly his clothed erection against the mattress. It's been 4 days without you and he feels like a man starved. He laps slowly now, letting one of his vibranium fingers testing your heat.

"God...please Jamie...don't tease...I'm ready.." you whimper as he let another finger in and slowly start to move them.

"You're not, doll...you know that i don't want to hurt you..." he replies sweetly, even if you're an enhanced human he treats you as you're a beautiful and precious porcelain doll.

"You can't hurt me..." you murmur disappointed but at the same time you appreciate his concern, how sweet and careful he can be, how he privileges your wellbeing instead of his own. He starts to move his fingers faster inside you and you moan arching your back, lost in the pleasure.

"You're so beautiful baby...so erotic...I'm so excited that it hurt..." he whispers against your center before he let his tongue caress again your clit.

His ruthless resolve to make you really ready for him excite you. His free hand now lingers on you stomach and up, reaching for one of your boobs to grop it softly. You feel the wave of another orgasm coiling rapidly into your belly, you tilt your head and a scream leaves your mouth, your legs quiver, trapping his head between them.

He drinks you in and when you're able to relax your thighs he emerges, his chin and lips glimmering because of your juices.

"You're so fucking hot when you cum..." he growls now unfastening his belt and opening his jeans to free his raging erection.

"Sargent Barnes, such an indecent language..." You joke looking at him with a fake indignant stare.

"Oh doll, soon you'll be the one talking an indecent language and you know that..."he murmurs hooking both of his hands under your ass to let you come closer before entering you with a swift thrust thanks to your recent orgasm.

"FUCK!" You cry out, shutting your eyes. He's completely bottoming out, balls deep and the sensation of being so full leave you overwhelmed. He stills, leaving you time to adjust to his size and breathe.

You let out a sob and a tear run down your eye.

"You ok, love?" He asks, a little worried.

You open your eyes and look into his.

"I...I..." you stutter, for a moment you feel dizzy and incapable of speak but you nod reassuring him. It's magnificent the sensation of being stretch out like this and your body shivers, unlocking the memories of your shared past. You whimper in ecstasy as it seems that your body was created to fit and mould perfectly with his.

He hugs you tight without moving, then he rolls so you're on top, straddling him. At the change of position your walls clench hard his erection.

" Christ..." he moans loudly grabbing your hips " take what you need doll...use me..." he continues brushing his fingers on your skin.

Suddenly you feel hot, you position both of your hands on the side of his head and then you lean to kiss him. You know that the words coming from his mouth are not said easily and you feel grateful to have this man in your life.

"I love you James...I love you so much" you whisper against his lips before starting to buck your hips slowly, savoring the sensation of him fully sheathed inside you. You move both of your hands on his shoulders and the on his chest, leveraging youself so you have more space to move.

"I love you too baby...ah...you feel so good..." He grunts, kneading the flesh of your hips, following your movements.

"You're so good to me...soo good to me..."you echo grinding harder, gyrating your hips finding your rhythm.

"Ah... you know i won't last long if you move like that...it's seems you want to devour me..." he manages to whisper between his moans.

"I'm just claiming what's mine..." you tut before he sit brushing his vibranium hand on your back til he reaches your hair, clenching his fist and pulling lightly. He knows how pulling your hair arouses you because he feels the same.

You gasp at his gesture, closing your eyes.

"You know it drives me crazy when you act like that..." he whispers in you ear before latching on your neck, sucking slightly and then he starts to pump his hips up.

"You're so fucking deep..."you moan scratching his back "I'm gonna cum again baby...I'm so close...don't you dare to stop..."you breathe helplessly.

"You're gonna cum around my cock, baby? Ah...Say it, like a good girl..." he gloat squeezing one of your ass cheek and pulling a little more your hair.

"I'm cumming...I'm cumming..." you whine holding onto him like you would hold for dear life. Your entire body shaking incontrollably as a series of little cry escape your lips.

Your walls squeeze him so hard that he can't control himself as he came inside you with a roar. He hugs you tightly trying to ease the quivering of your body.

"I've got you, baby...I've got you..."he whispers softly caressing your hair as you relax in his embrace, leaning in his arms. He lies down, holding you tight against his chest.