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@ecru-ennui
shoutout to my therapist who, upon me telling her i didn’t like the word alter, started referring to my headmates as “my homies.” like “any updates on your homies? have you heard from your homies at all this week” she’s the only true plural ally
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found this today
Please use these terms correctly. Not doing so will deeply harm the people who actually have experienced trauma, gaslighting, triggers, and people who have NPD.
This needs to be shared wide and far. I’m so sick of people misusing these terms. Especially to draw and false sympathy to themselves.
excerpts from a really good article by Margaret Killjoy on her substack today about the power of stories and why some leftist critics can be misguided when using ‘escapism’ as a pejorative. you can read the rest of it down below if you subscribe to her
or: tolkien and le guin on escapist fantasy
margaret killjoy is an anarcho-communist author, artist, musician, journalist, podcaster, punk and trans woman; and one of the role models i look up to
Losing my mind over this post on r/NoStupidQuestions
[Image description: a screenshot of a reddit post reading "Do cats understand what static shock is or does my cat think I have a mildly painful defensive ability that I sometimes use on him for no reason". End ID]
joyfulsmolthings
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even having one true friend or person that loves you can change your life
there’s something that’s incredible about the intersectionality and flexibility of werewolves as metaphor.
anger issues? werewolf. intrusive thoughts? werewolf. unresolved trauma? werewolf. rejection by society? werewolf. autism? werewolf. transgenderism? werewolf. queer expression of any sort? werewolf. plurality? werewolf. dissociation? werewolf. repression of any sort? werewolf. abuse cycles? werewolf. emotion so strong it physically changes you? werewolf!!!
really doing it all
while you were attending therapy i was studying the blade
what do you mean i need better coping mechanisms
>a wild therapist has entered the chat you need an additional coping mechanism studying the blade is a DBT principle called Building Mastery - wherein you engage in anything that is practical during which you gain skill and can actively see yourself progress - which is resilience building technique by which you shore yourself against vulnerability factors that make it harder to regulate emotions and manage activities of daily life and interpersonal interactions effectively. if you continue to study the blade while engaging in therapy, it will in fact make your therapeutic session more effective because having a skill that you pursue builds self-esteem and is a foundation upon which other coping skills can be built. so not better coping skills, blademaster, additional ones. you are already heading in the right direction and you have proven you have the tenacity to apply yourself to one discipline. now show us what you can do when applying yourself to your healing.
#bro u don’t understand I was teaching building mastery the other day in group and seeing this hit me like a train#this caught me so off guard#lmao
That is so the point bestie <3
the thing about disability is it really does sometimes boil down to "wow i wish i could do that" and then you can't. and it sucks.
accomodations are important but i think they miss the point of this post. sometimes you can't do it. at all. someone needs to do it for you or it will never happen.
last time my mom visited I was talking to her about parenting and how I appreciated a lot of the choices she and my father had made about raising me and my brother and she agreed that just listening to the child and taking them seriously was the One Weird Trick to cutting out like 60% of conflicts between parents and children. and she said one time I was about three or four years old and we were all going to the grocery store, and at the threshold of the store I just had a meltdown. i was overwhelmed, I was crying, I was just at the end of my rope like kids get sometimes. and instead of dragging me through the store my mom and dad stopped what we were doing and just asked me what the problem was. and I was able to say I didn't want to be there, I couldn't do it, I wanted to go home. and she says she and my father just looked at each other and back at me and said "okay" and we all went home that day instead of forcing the grocery store trip. and I had so few public meltdowns as a kid despite being pretty autistic because, I think, I knew that if I ever really needed to leave, my parents would understand and back me up. and that was the case throughout my childhood. which paradoxically (one might think) resulted in me having fewer incidents of being overwhelmed in the first place, which then made me better able to handle increasing amounts of stress and so on. it also taught me that expressing feelings and communicating them to my caretakers wasn't going to be punished or ignored or called weird, so unlike many other autistic kids who get judged or rebuked for expressing sensitivity or opposition, I didn't need to constantly blockade everyone and internalize everything all the time.
it's a pretty simple concept whether your kids are autistic or not, but most parents don't seem to get it. their parents taught them to just force everything and let the child deal with it alone so they just repeat the cycle even though they know how it feels.
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There is nothing wrong with wanting to be as far away from people who purposely don’t want to understand you and respect you, and are committed to judging you as harshly as they can.
Your parents can love you and still be shitty abusive parents. They can mean well and still fuck up. They might fuck up without even knowing it's abuse.
Sometimes I think about how, when I was 5, my dad would make grilled cheese sandwiches and cut them into dinosaur shapes for me. Other times when I was hungry, he would refuse to feed me at all, because he decided that 5 was old enough for me to cook for myself when he didn't feel like doing it.
I think about how he taught me to swim, and fish, and (yes) throw a ball. In the summer, at night, he would wrap me in a huge comforter and carry me around outside to show me the constellations. But I hated being left alone with him because he was often bad tempered, mean to me for no reason, and I couldn't count on him for basic things like food.
Sometimes I think about how my mom raised hell in my high school principal's office in front of multiple faculty members because they weren't complying with my IEP (disability required accommodations). She always saw red if someone else laid a finger on me, even figuratively. When we were at home she screamed at me for things I had no control over and said I was using my illness to get my way.
I think about how she bought me art supplies and paid for lessons for all of my hobbies. She attended every single concert, performance, and game. I don't think I went a day without being told she loved me while growing up, and she constantly told me how proud she was. But I could never trust her mood and she could go from loving mother to terrorizing me before I knew what was happening.
My parents love me but I still flinch if someone in my vicinity washes a dish a little too aggressively. My parents never intentionally traumatized me, but my nervous system never knew the difference. Neither of my parents saw anything they did as abuse; they believed they were good parents. It wasn't until my mom was in her mid 60s that she grasped that her own childhood had been abusive, too.
They're not bad, irredeemable people. They're complex people with a lot of their own trauma who lacked many skills necessary for good parenting. I could hate them for it, but I don't. I'm not obligated to forgive them, and I don't think I have, and I don't know whether I ever really will. My parents damaged me a lot in ways that have affected my whole life, and I still have good memories with them.
i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out
brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad
OP this is EXCELLENT
Now THAT’S a self care resource! If you’ve gotten distracted by capitalism’s appropriation of “self-care” and watering the meaning down to nothing this is a super helpful guide to cut through the bullshit.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out
brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad
OP this is EXCELLENT
Now THAT’S a self care resource! If you’ve gotten distracted by capitalism’s appropriation of “self-care” and watering the meaning down to nothing this is a super helpful guide to cut through the bullshit.
reading a book about the Bethel house in Japan and it's always so so so cool to see all the unique differences + all the commonalities between different mad liberation/peer support communities. definitely noticing some similarities between the Trieste model in Italy and Bethel house, especially when it comes to embracing problems as opportunities + the model of healing in community, and transitioning from closed hospital wards to community living with open hospital treatment. another key feature of bethel house is self directed research (a translation of tōjisha-kenkyū that doesn't quite get all the political nuance.) the idea is that people engage in self study and self diagnosis to understand their own experiences and then present these in peer support meetings, get feedback, etc.
favorite thing I learned about Bethel house is that every year they have a competition called the Grand Prix hallucination and delusions contest, where people share their stories of hallucinations and delusions and whoever's hallucination/delusion brought the community most together that year wins the prize. like i'm actually so so obsessed with that and almost teared up hearing the casual and accepted way altered states were talked about.
Bethel house def isn't perfect but is such an interesting example of what alternatives to psychiatry can look like and i'm really grateful to everyone from bethel house who publically shares their experiences!
article about bethel house: https://aeon.co/essays/japans-radical-alternative-to-psychiatric-diagnosis
films about Bethel house: http://www.disability.jp/soul/
