Spare me a thought now and then

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

This is the Pride Month that It will happen. I feel it in my gay bones

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

Man's about to turn you into the scene of a happy little accident.

[ID: A seal spinning upside-down under the water with its nose pressed against a rock. Upbeat music plays in the background. A caption on the video reads, "Instead of a monkey with cymbals, I have this lil guy in my head." /end ID]

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will