32 female, gamer,writes, nature photograph

You always hear your the problem, your a mistake, your the reason for everything, you shouldn’t act or feel the way you do because your the one in the wrong not the person that makes you feel the way you feel. You get told your stupid, get told your dum, your worthless, get told your a brick wall. You sit here with so many things running in your head wondering what you do wrong? Why everyone hates me? Why do I get told i’m the huge problem?. It’s like you have so many tabs open in your head that your mind is racing with so many things and thoughts. That you just shut down completly and act like everything is fine when really your thinking to yourself why am I still here? Why am I even fighting? When you know your just this huge problem and everyone hates you.

All you hear is your never good enough, all you hear is everything your doing wrong, all you hear how your a screw up. All the lies you been told, everything everyone is saying you play in your head over and over. All the thoughts running through your head. All the pain your hiding. All the strength you came put yourself to do better and you just tell yourself was it even worth it?. Was anything worth fighting? Was anything worth trying to be enough?

When they keep telling you everything your doing wrong, when they keep telling you how horrible of person you are, when they just keep making you feel so awful. You just feel like hiding from the world and shut down. You just want to go somewhere away from everything. You try to ask yourself would anyone really care if you dissapear? Would anyone really care if you don’t say anything? You just say to yourself you just feel so alone and you know no one in the world will care.

How much more can you take till you finally break? Would anyone care at all? You sit there to yourself listing to your favorite song the one song that has help you get through. But knowing no one cares and you feel so alone. You think to yourself that you will always just have yourself and the music that understands. What if you just walked away? Would anyone really notice? No because you know your just a let down and no one cares about you.

Driving at night empty road and listening to music you feel like thats your escape. You feel like you can drive for hours and feel free from everything. You feel like music is the only thing that understands you. You feel like you can just disappear from everything and be in your own world and never have to worry about anything. All your pain will disappear that you found a place in the middle of nowhere

When your just to a point that you rather just stay quite and stay hidden from everything

They say stay alive, they say keep staying strong, they say look how far you came. But what they don’t realize your still struggling, your still dealing with the pain, your still hurt, your feeling everything is your fault, your feeling like your the problem. No matter how much you try and try everyday it just seems like everything fails. You just know music is the only thing that understands you.

When you just don’t know anymore your to the point were you try and try but it’s never enough. You just think and think to yourself why do you try when you just feel like your failing? They tell you look how far you came but really your just hiding everything so no one knows your pain. Music you feel like it’s always going to feel like it’s your escape and only thing that truly knows what your feeling.

Music you feel like its the only thing you can relate to or how you feel. Lyrics can be so powerful and have so much meaning, it can feel like it’s saying exactly how you feel or what your going through that moment. 

All you do is try and try but it’s never enough. You feel like your not worth it, you feel like everyone treats you like dirt. You try and ask yourself why do you stay? Will you ever be cared? You feel like your just a piece of paper no one cares about.

Your to the point where life has no meaning nothing seems to work anymore, everything just seems like it’s falling apart. Everyday you see darkness, everyday just a day you don’t want to keep fighting, everyday you don’t know how much longer you can stay strong. You just want things to go away but they never do. You want your life to just end but you know thats not gonna solve anything because you know it’s still there. Life just has no meaning anymore, life is just a roller coaster, life is painful, this life you don’t want anymore.

You try and try to keep postive but nothing seems to work. All the negative keeps overcoming you. The more and more of the missery that overcomes you closing you in with darkness. All you see is darkness, all you see is the pain and hurt you feel. All you want is it to all go away but nothing you do works. You wonder if you should let darkness overcome.

When your feeling at your lowest try to pick yourself back up and say you got this. Your strong and keep fighting. There will be days that are good and days that are bad. When those bad days hit tell yourself you stayed this strong and can keep staying strong. It might feel like it’s said easier then done. But it will get better it might take time and we want it to happen right away but slowly in time it will. Don’t give up. Keep fighting whatever your going through. Keep that positive mind and do what makes you happy. Try to do things positive. Yes we will have bad days and slip up but it’s okay don’t beat yourself up. Remember each day is a new day to pick yourself up and try again just keep staying strong.