and not to overshare but it makes me think about having my biggest manic episode. i was getting into scary men’s cars and doing coke in a basement and not caring and cutting my own bangs and spending too much money and i was alone. alone in my struggling. alone in the fight to get out of it all. and nobody was watching me. nobody was lurking in the shadows like a dark guardian angel.

It is so important to me that people understand Bob/Sentry/The Void is bipolar and doesn’t have DID. When he is Sentry or The Void, he’s still Bob, not a completely different person/identity.

As somebody who is bipolar and has PTSD, it’s very special for me to have representation within one of my favorite fandoms.

Seeing Bob’s story and background play out through the movie reminds me so much of myself. Especially when he says this quote “I have these good days, you know? Where I feel invincible. But then there are a lot of bad days when I remember that nothing matters”

That’s exactly what being bipolar feels like.

We see in the movie that in the beginning, Bob just seems like this funny silly character. That’s the way he portrays himself to the rest of the group. He says things such as the group would be better off without him, but laughs them off as a joke. However, Yelena expressed how she understands how he feels. That’s when Bob begins to feel a little bit of trust in the group, but especially with Yelena. This is when we start to see Sentry, and later The Void.

In my experience with bipolar, it’s the ones closest to me (my partner & my mom) that see the effect my diagnosis has on me. I am managing things very well right now with the right medication and therapy. But when I was untreated/on the wrong medications, the ones I loved most were the ones who saw my really bad days and my manic days. However, with everyone else (friends, outside family) I hid behind a wall, attempting to make jokes and just be the funny friend to be around.

Reminder again that I am so grateful to be on the right medications and have amazing therapeutic help. It has helped me slowly get back to being around friends, being able to control my manic and depressive states, and enjoy life again.

All of this to say, it feels good to finally have representation in Marvel and see that somebody like me is so cared for by my favorite characters.