Ad te clamamus, exsules filii Hevae

Other than some really bad cases of missing the point and the people who said I wrote what they thought but couldn't put to words, I got a bunch of aduvice. At first I was a bit mad about the few very cookie cut catholic advice that ultimately boil down to "pray about it". (Random tangent) I shouldn't feel like this, this is a flaw of mine, but I get unnecessarily worked up with these respondes because, even though it's well-meaning, I feel like you are telling me you don't care at all of what I just said and just wanted to give me an ultimatum since I can't possibly say anything to "pray about it". In reality, I know people are just being well intentioned and I'm just not the easiest person to understand. (End of tangent)

Later, when it breached containment, I started getting a few responses putting the sacramentality of catholic marriage and the "until death do us part" at fault for the scenario I was painting. That's when it clicked. Maybe people give me cookie cut advice in the situations where I touched a topic that a non-catholic could use to attack us. Hold on, think of me more like someone who's trying to build a thought less than making a point.

What I mean is that sometimes people get in defensive mode and start repeating what would sound good in a discussion involving non-catholics. "God gives the grace through your prayers and the sacrament of marriage" would be the answer for "how can you believe someone can survive the hardships of their marriage without divorcing" which is particularly irrelevant in the discussion of my post, coming from the pov of someone who's not married (and more so, because the main point wasn't "hardships of marriage", but "being considered a prop", but I guess the way I worded triggered the defensive reaction). Am I making any sense?

Of course there are plenty of things we shouldn't be bringing up to the conversation when around most non-catholics, since that would be bleeding in a shark tank. But I feel like it would be nice to sometimes be more "we're all catholics here, I know the why, but I wanted to discuss a bit on the how" and then like be honest about stuff.

Another example that this happens a lot more clearly is when someone brings up parentification of eldest siblings in large families. Someone will always counter it by mentioning something about the benefits of growing up in a large family and the benefits of children having responsibilities early on, when it's completely out of the point. If it's all catholics who already know about openness to life (and specially if not everyone talking grew up in a large family), wouldn't it be more productive to be talking about techniques to not overwork your 12yos?