trouble by design

Wait but who gets to be the horse

There are lipstick stains on my capri sun

which lana del rey song is this from

I just bought 430 worms on strings

I want an entire worm suit for Bonnaroo

Please turn on audio it’s adorable

context for the joke: upton sinclair’s the jungle is a book from 1906 about the meatpacking industry both about the working conditions and how unsanitary it was. it led to numerous laws about federal oversight on the meatpacking industry (specifically inspection) during what was known as the progressive era.

Time to stop buying any and all pork products until this is fixed. Spread it around. PORK BOYCOTT. Bacon isn’t worth debilitating sicknesses that you’re likely to catch now that standards are going to be lowered in the industry in order to save money.

do u ever just wish u could be an ancient oracle and your whole job was to do weed and tell stupid riddles to rich conquerors only for them to misinterpret your words and die

adult emailing culture is overthinking how polite you sound and forgetting to send the attachments

*earth sign voice* common sense

*water sign voice* hard pass

*fire sign voice* i’m bored

If gas prices keep going up it will be cheaper to snort cocaine and run everywhere.

finally a good fucking shower thought

spin the bottle except instead of kissing each other you fight

Aries energy

gamecube was the best designed controller of all time exclusively for the button cluster that gave you easy thumb roll access to all buttons but also gave you the a button as a thumb rest (because it’s the one you press the most) and took into account the frequency with which each button gets pressed in its design rather than doing the stupid diamond design that gives no button priority and rests your thumb in the shitty blank space between buttons

every gay girl i’ve spoken to agrees that one of the most humiliating and demoralizing things is having a straight girl thinking you’re coming on to them simply bc you like girls and it….really fucks with our relationships both platonic and romantic bc while other girls get to sit on each others laps and sleep in the same beds and playfully grab each others asses we’re putting up so many walls just in case our straight friends think we’re after them. 

and bc our conception of relationships with other girls in general is so fucked and suppressed we have no idea how to navigate our emotions when we’re actually attracted to another girl and want to pursue it

y’all reblogging this with “straight girls/gay guys experience this toooo”….nah, this isn’t about people thinking you want them, its a uniquely stunting experience to gay girls who are excluded from developing friendships and behaving around other girls in the ways we are all socialized to do so because we conceive ourselves/others conceive us as “predatory”