big tiddie goth loser

my friend's discord server has a "proof of touch grass" channel where they post pics of them doing regular activities outdoors/in public. i think many online spaces could benefit from such a thing

honestly, open warning to anyone who sits beside me on a plane: I’m eating your ass immediately if we crash. I don’t have any religious hang ups. if we’re lost in the Andes in need of rescue, and I start to get a little hungry, I’m eating you. sorry.

Put me back in the water right now or ill die

Right now or ill die

Squirm for me

Unh

Girl what do you mean there’s a goal to sex? You’re literally naked, get a grip

No, but I’m being so serious. If cumming is your only metric for successful sex, you need to change that. There are so many other ways to make your partner feel good and if you pressure one thing it only makes it that much harder.

Using your minotaur partner’s horns like a pull up bar to get better leverage to ride them while you sit on their lap

beating the fuck out my husband because I can’t remember my Etsy password

so ur at the party right and there’s this girl in the corner with another girl on a leash with the puppy ears on standard stuff and u start talking to her and she introduces the girl on the leash and says “this is my little puppy, Emily. say hi Emily” and the leash girl does a little bark at u and u say “oh that’s nice” and ur looking for a way to avoid the awkward silence during a 4 second period that feels like a half hour so u ask “does she know any tricks?” so the girl says “come on girl, show ‘em” and the puppy girl gets up pulls out a skateboard and starts doing the sickest kick flips u ever saw

When I was a kid I thought there were so many more swear words than there are. But in actuality we get like. ten before it just turns into slurs. Deep down, I’m still disappointed.

rockstar lestat voice The children, they are calling me cringé... they are posting pictures of my face, magnifique, with my big blue eyes that captivate so many, and they are placing it next to a certain photograph of the starlet mademoiselle cyrus. they have turned me into a mémé. well. i can be humorous too, non? i am going to find the creators of this cruel joke. i will hunt them down. they think they are funny? i am about to be...hilariouse...

we have found you guilty of being a monsterfucker ... guards !!! send them to the labyrinth!!! wait why do you look happy about that. stop th