half agony, half hope

no matter how many followers you have the same 10 people will reblog posts from you

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

If ANYTHING is a heritage post it’s this.

i hate people who know chess. “i’m moving my rook to c2” okay man. i’m driving down I-65

i hate people who know highways. “i’m heading south on I-65” okay man. i’m moving my rook to c2

I'm not positive but I think the voiceover is Rxckstxr who does a lot of animal voicovers that are just as funny, and deserves more credit than a repost and a "whoever did the voice", thank you very much.

THEY KEEP ASKING ME IF I WOULD DIE FOR THEM AND I KEEP ASKING WHY THEY WANT ME DEAD

job interviews

they can't stop you from thinking about gay sex on company time

Soft apples should be sentenced to death. Girl I trusted you

You bite into an apple and expect a crisp crunch so good and so juicy instead you are met with a wet paper towel. a clump of mud. soft sad meat. my lunch break is ruined

legend has it that girl still hasn’t cleared out the 9,000 useless screenshots on her phone

Guy just walked in with a shirt that said “I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them” and frankly I’m obsessed