Drekevac

you ever end up having to create your own edit of a song because there was none to begin with?

Been a hot minute since I’ve posted. I’ve been in the hospital for the last three months to only go home for two weeks to then be sent back into the hospital and admitted for an unknown amount of time I have spent more time in the hospital than inside my own home as of this year so far. I have been poked so many times that even when they walk in to come do a IV I scream I cry, and at this point, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do because they refused to knock me out. They refused to sedate me I just have to sit there and scream, and they’re aware that I’m chronically ill. They’re aware I am suffering chronic pain.  I had a central line, but the doctors decided to take it out because they had no plans for it. It’s very frustrating to be told that you’re going to get better and everything is going to be OK when at the moment everything is not OK everything is not getting better. I’m only getting worse and makes me feel inferior to everyone. I feel like I’m useless, and even being stuck in the hospital it makes me feel even more useless I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. Life is not fair I want to fucking die