oh so now im the bad guy just because im a piece of shit¿

Ever wonder why they call it nicotine? It’s cause in the old days, a pack of cigarettes only cost a nickel. BTW, you look like shit. Are you OK?

Swing state gothic

it's such bs that the whole guilt-ridden stoic self-sacrificing martyr thing doesn't work outside of fiction. repressing all your emotions and neglecting your physical wellbeing should make you god's most tragically beautiful morally unassailable little soldier of righteousness but all it does is give you bad skin and gastrointestinal problems

the corpse of a flea became lodged in the frame of a porthole on the evening of June 3rd, 1802, preventing an airtight seal. 30 sailors were killed by ingestion of night air in their sleep

I wont lie to you I lost my dual pistols if you see dual pistols anywhere they are mine 

"like a boss" by lonely island was released ten thousand years ago when mammoths still roamed the big wide world. feel old yet?

i should quit my job and search for the golden ant

its actually going pretty well