Deflowered, Boy

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

(looking at a gay couple) which one of you drowns their guilt and grief in substances and which one is consumed by an inescapable feeling of uselessness

As much as I want to support ethical farming practices I will be buying the cheapest bag of frozen chicken thighs as much as the next frugal/poor person which is why animal welfare needs to be legislated, not left up to the invisible hand of the free market or some bullshit. Invisible hand of the free market finds itself around a lot of throats.

Honestly this is fucking brilliant because you can put hot drinks in this cup and since it has a handle you won’t burn your hand drinking it

The pilot -> astronaut pipeline makes complete sense but is also funny to me. There's a secret second sky and if you get good enough at doing sky you can do space.

Akira bike sliding on a horse

allow me to slip into something a little more… comfortable *removes green ribbon from my neck, screaming ensues*

why is “get ___ed idiot” one of the funniest sentences in the english language

get verbed idiot, the sequel to “ok nounboy”

get verbed nounboy