guess I’m just gonna sit here and miss one direction for the rest of my life

it's crazy to think that memories you've had for years will just never look or feel the same again. all those memories from 2012 when i first got into 1D, all the concerts, all the songs and the first time hearing those songs, the first time watching music videos, the posts and memes here on tumblr... like none of it will ever feel the same. it'll always be tinged by loss and a degree of emptiness from here on out.

hiding in the work bathroom right now because i’m grown up and i have things to do and responsibilities to meet and i didn’t even know him but. there’s a 15 year old inside of me who is absolutely reeling and panicking because that 15 year old did know his voice and his public persona and his contributions to a band that meant a lot to so many my age. like. this is a storyline from a horror movie. not something that was supposed to happen to someone so important to me in my adolescence. i don’t know how process it and I can’t imagine how the people he did really know are. i can’t wrap my head around it. so i’m. just gonna be. 15 years old in this work bathroom right now

Honestly thought I’d be like 78 years old before I’d get the news that a member of one direction died

I just know it’s gonna really hit me the moment one of the boys says something and then I’m gonna lose it.

Those 5 boys and the community around them held such a strong role in shaping me and knowing one of them is just... no more... I can't explain this feeling.

regardless of anything else, so much of my late teens/early twenties were devoted to that band and I met so many people that I love so much and hold so incredibly dear to me to this day because of being in that fandom. countless memories were made at 1D shows and waiting for their albums to drop each fall and celebrating with everyone online. sending love to all of you, friends. life is short and fragile and weird. 🩷

you know the post that's like: one day I'll be 45 at a party and ill hear a one direction song and ill be dancing my heart out because I never learned to love anything as much as I love one direction?......... yeah.......thinking of that right now