She's the yee to my yee

But he knows Ilya used to traipse around Europe in the summers, and he knows he was a club rat, so despite the fact that it makes Shane feel like he’s gonna puke, he’s incredibly excited to, like, not only see this side of Ilya but to experience it with him.

But before we talk partying we gotta talk about transport.

They get picked up from the airport with a very highly rated private service and rent an obnoxious villa on a fucking cliff over-looking the water because they can. It has a gym, infinity pool, private beach access and various other amenities, including a huge wine cellar with included sommelier, and a garage of sports cars and motorbikes/scooters. They take the cars a few times, and the Montrealer in Shane fucking relishes in the chaotic pace of Spanish traffic (which Ilya has not yet had the opportunity to see and is a little shocked by, but finds incredibly hot).

It takes more for convincing for the motorbike.

“I don’t want to end up in the hospital on our honeymoon—”

“Who said anything about hospital? Hollander, I am an expert. I would drive all around—”

“Yeah, and you shouldn’t have been doing that, anyway! They’re death traps!”

“One ride. Just quickly around.”

“Ilya.”

“Shane.” He comes closer, sliding his hands over Shane’s hips. “You, with your secret fucked up driving? You will love it, I promise.” He squeezes his hands and shrugs innocently. “And if you’re too scared you can follow me in a car.”

“Fucking—” Shane cuts himself off. Glares. “If we get hurt you’re gonna break the news to Weibe. And my parents.”

Ilya gleefully hands him a helmet.

“This is peer pressure,” Shane grouses as Ilya helps him put it on.

“Mm,” Ilya hums, straddling the bike. He puts on his own helmet. He’s not hot. At all. “Now, behind me. Feet on the little things on the side—yes, perfect.” He revs the engine like an asshole, and Shane firmly tells himself that isn’t hot, either. Neither is the way Shane wraps his arms around him, or how he has to hook his chin over Ilya’s shoulder to hear him over the noise, or when Ilya smirks and says hold on, Hollander before they take off like a fucking shot. Shane swears in surprise, arms squeezing Ilya’s middle. He can he feel him laughing and can’t help but grin back.

It’s… okay, it’s fun.

Ilya eases off the speed a little so it isn’t quite as terrifying, takes the turns more slowly, and is careful with the cracks and potholes. Eventually, the fact that he’s holding back becomes more annoying than sweet, and Shane takes advantage of an empty road at their more sedate pace to cuddle up against Ilya’s back more thoroughly. “This how you normally drive?” Shane yells against the wind.

He can feel Ilya shrug. “Precious cargo!” He yells back.

“Don’t worry about me!”

Ilya glances back at him, raising a brow. At the squeeze of Shane’s arms around him, he smirks and fucking guns it. They weave through traffic, around potholes, and take turns that have Shane’s heart in his throat and his adrenaline pumping. “If it’s too much, you say!” He hears Ilya yell through the wind.

It’s not too much. It is so embarrassingly not too much that he gets hard and horny enough to rub up against Ilya and feels him laugh delightedly. When Shane sees a good spot up ahead he grins. “Hey! Pull over up there!”

Ilya glances back, confused, but does as he’s told. “Are you—”

Shane has his helmet off almost before they’ve stopped, sliding off the back of the bike and walking backwards towards the trees. His hands are already undoing the button and zip of his shorts.

so the pt gives him some specific stretches to do (some of which will also improve his already impressive back arch) but also recommends he take up yoga, and shane rolls his eyes about it later in his car (because doing it in front of the pt would be rude) but then he figures “what the hell, can’t hurt to try” and finds that he actually really likes it. it makes his brain calm down a bit, it’s not totally quiet up there but it feels more like a manageable trickle of thoughts instead of the uncontrollable tsunami that his brain usually feels like. it’s nice, he can focus on the stretch of his muscles and the way that the constant vice-like pressure in his chest loosens a bit. plus, if it will make his hookups with ilya even better, it’s gotta be worth it.

Clean Sweep by @theburialofstrawberries | 29K | Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank. The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”| I'm pretty sure everyone and their mother has already read this, because it spread like wildfire through my circle...if you have been living under a rock, somehow, this is  a canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane is Shane and Ilya is a janitor. This is totally going to be a classic in the fandom! So, SO good. Amazing characterisation and I love how the author remixed the main beats of canon and all the slight and big changes in this AU really work.

Don't stop believing (hold on to that feeling) | 33K | A series of vignettes following Shane's relationship with music through the medium of karaoke, set along the timeline of his relationship with Ilya.| I urge you to give this fic a chance, because going on the summary alone I honestly was very sceptical. And I shouldn't have been! I would have never imagined a story about Shane Hollander and bloody karaoke could be this good.

white collar crimes | 21K | So Shane Hollander is, how do you say in English, a dirty little thief. A clothing thief, to be precise. Ilya can't say he saw that coming, but he also can't pretend he's all that mad about it. His shirt looks good on his Shane. On Shane. On Hollander. Right. His shirt looks good on Hollander.|  Set during the situationship. Great characterisation and banter and feelings. Second chapter is my fave but it's all very good.

No Friction, Just Chemistry by @dragonmuse| 20K | After leaving behind his last job, Ilya threw himself into a new profession: making and selling all things one can pickle. His week revolved around the Sunday farmer's market. Everything seemed simple and predictable until a new vendor arrived late in the season.| I normally don't do full AUs but Vee is a genius and I'd trust them to hell and back. This was the perfect rom-com version of Hollanov. Cute, fun and in-character. It also comes as a podfic, read by the author, and that's always a big plus for me. 

so you must like me for me by @alasse9 | 36.2K | It turns out, having the worst thing you can think of happen to you when you're seventeen years old can end up being pretty liberating. And land you an unexpected best friend.| Shane is outed before the draft, goes seventh and ends up in Ottawa. Best friends to lovers, a trope I really like that somehow works really well for Hollanov. Sweet and earnest.

(Oh I believe in) Yesterday | 9.4K | Time loops are just a fact of life to Wyatt, insane as that sounds. He’ll happily settle in for a repeat day every couple of weeks. Chances are he’ll wake up tomorrow morning and go to regularly scheduled practice. A teammate probably pissed off their wife, which is an easily fixed problem. Or, the Wyatt-Hayes-centric-time-loop-Boxing-Day-fight-fix-it-fic| A super a fun and original take on the time loop trope! Love Wyatt as our POV character, he's so well-written and his relationship with Lisa is just lovely.

All Love Must Leave but Search For It I Will | 23K | A shoulder injury takes Ilya out for the season ten games into his second year with the Ottawa Centaurs. With one good arm and an empty house, Ilya battles with memories of his parents and his mental health.| Good depiction of depression (I have a thing for stories that explore Ilya's mental health). Great characterisation.

babies born in the month of may by @bitterbloodyorange | 5K | Yuna Hollander and the Art of Raising a Winner Without Giving Him (or Yourself) Too Much of a Complex About It; Ilya Rozanov's Incomprehensive Guide to Charming Your Stoned Boyfriend| Really lovely Yuna character exploration.

multitasking by @emotional-synth-music| 7.3K | *I am in hell, Ilya thinks. He's awkwardly hard in his cup and layers of gear. He can't focus. How the fuck is Hollander functioning like this? Is he actually so gifted at hockey that he can play at this level and still have space to let the sex demon in his brain run rampant? Is this what he's like all the time? *|Crack treated seriously. Ilya can suddenly hear Shane's thoughts. Hot and so lovely.

when you leave here by @iddayidnight | 8K | “It just feels like such a nothing story," Shane says. "But my mom’s so fucking... worked up about it.”  Ilya watches him. “I think,” he says carefully, “that your mom is also the parent of a teenage boy who played on that hockey team. And not just the manager of a person who is being asked for comment on a bad story. Yes?”  (Shane was fifteen years old when he moved to Sarnia.)| Extremely painful to read but extremely good fic about hockey culture. Inspired by We Breed Lions (which I discovered and read thanks to this fandom, obvs). Amazing characterisation.

Pencil in the Rest | 87K | Scent patches were mandatory for anyone participating in World Junior's, but a lot of the Russian guys Shane saw in the hotel or around the rink had them loosely attached to their necks or not quite centered over their scent gland. Shane had been on his way to his parents' car when the wind shifted, and he smelled that Rozanov, leaning against the wall and not-at-all-surreptitiously fishing a carton of cigarettes out of his pocket, must have been one of them.| Omegaverse with fully realised world-building and great characterisation. Excellent use of the soulmate trope. Unputdownable.And I say it as someone who's usually meh on both these tropes.

winning streak by @citrusses | 9.1K  | Everyone hates All-Stars. If anyone asks, Shane does, too.| Perfect, perfect Shane characterisation. Ilya is amazing too, but we are in Shane's head here. What All Stars means for our unhinged duo during the situationship era.

Shane As It Ever Was by @@exactphoify | 7.1K | Ilya wakes with no memory after an eventful night. Or maybe it wasn’t eventful. He doesn’t remember, that’s the problem.|Time travel fic. Short and sweet. And hot. Lovely.

oh well, I guess we're gonna find out! by @angel-deux-writes | 95K | Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again. Except, well. Then there are zombies.|Again, this took fandom over by storm for a reason, but if you haven't read it yet, my bookmark reads "OMG. Zombie apocalypse AU. Fucking perfect."

here we are and what the hell are we going to do with it | 24K | “Shane.” Ilya takes Shane’s head in his hands, squeezes his cheeks so that Shane looks puffy, absurd. Beloved. “I am saying that to me, even though you are retired, you will always be No. 1 hockey player. Fuck Wayne Gretzky.” That’s what does it, as Ilya knew it would. Shane rears back, spluttering, outraged, trying not to laugh. “Oh, I have committed blasphemy now. They will take back my citizenship, big crime, very sad.” Shane smoothes his hands along Ilya’s calves, rests his fingertips on Ilya’s ankles. “Fuck Wayne Gretzky,” he says. He looks like he can’t believe what he’s saying. Ilya wonders, distantly, if he can get it on tape to play back to himself when things feel particularly bleak. “We can live in exile together. I don’t care. You’re my, my best, my second best hockey player forever too.”| Probably the best 'Shane has to retire and comes to term with it all' fic out there. Excellent characterisation all around, I love that this was plenty angsty without being over the top.

Dance Yrself Clean | 3.3K  | Two summers, nine years apart, and the changes they bring| Really good Ilya character study.

clouds in my coffee | 7.4K | A scandal breaks. Rose drives to Ottawa, to be not-alone.| A fic in which Rose gets some of the care and comfort she deserves.

When I Walk Into The Room, I Do Not Light It Up. Fuck. | 12.2K  | Transitions are hard for Shane. Joining his husband's team turns out not to be an exception to that rule.| Shane struggles to adapt to Ottawa. Amazing Shane POV. Lots of hockey, which makes it all much more grounded and interesting.

Over 500 years spent trying to cut down a whole trunk of human culture.