She's the yee to my yee @noukeeeh - Tumblr Blog

What they don’t tell you about your worst nightmare coming true and the last thing you wanted to happen happening is that life literally does just go on. like I really still have to eat my dads fucking pasta instead of drowning myself.

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fuckrozanov

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

koiagain

my aura too cunt My blog too suicidal my fit too mid My bitch hate me

divorce-enjoyer

ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water

divorce-enjoyer

you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful

swagophile

i have very few passions left in this hollow and empty life of mine but reading yuri genuinely makes me kick my legs and giggle like a school girl. theres still hope for me yet

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thischarmingdog

my advice for women is eat more, shave less, and do whatever the fuck you want

sandmandaddy69

sahonithereadwolf

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

marlynnofmany

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

syn4k

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

joyflameball

wheelie-sick

you cannoottttt let your gut reaction to something guide your political views. that's how you end up falling into fascism.

effervescent-fool

tumblr mutuals will truly be obsessed with anyone. there is a guy out there with 1 fan worldwide and that fan is your tumblr mutual

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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captain-price-returns

You’re years too late to be recognizing the threat of US government mass surveillance, bud.

penny-anna

what the hell is going on

penny-anna

i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.

penny-anna

Please god it would be so funny

penny-anna

there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.

penny-anna

for people out of the loop:

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

rushed-oats

its important to note the "clever" politics behind all of the decisions around this; NF cannot be investigated if he isn't an MP (stupid ruling, yes, but hang on) so his plan was to cause a stir by trying to get someone to take his seat; other politicians see through the plan and don't participate which would fuck NF massively as it means he never stopped being an MP and therefore can still be investigated and imprisoned. Binface shows up because of course he does this is an excellent time to embarrass a tosser. NF is now in a lose-lose.

If NF wins, he won against a joke candidate and thus it only makes him look an idiot (homer beating 8 year olds style) with no legitimacy, AND he will still go through the investigation that most of the HoP wants to put him through.

If Binface wins, NF lost to a joke candidate, and good heavens that's gonna screw him over permanently innit.

troublepunk-ldn

if count binface wins it will be the funniest thing thats ever happened in Clacton. i have mates in clacton and i'm buying a pint for everyone who votes binface.

gayhockeyshow

Biblically need ilya on antidepressants and shane begging for that floppy dick like Please can I touch #it Please can I suck #it Please Please Please

miscelium

@mybloodstream-caffeine i think i hauve covid

comingatthecottage

i wrote something inspired by this! i kinda took the humiliation angle and ran with it as far as i could. i hope it's okay that i absconded with your brilliant idea and also made it so pervy

esthermika

hussyknee

How long have you been on Tumblr?

Over 16 years (before 2010) (toddlers in the dawn of the ant colony)

16 to 14 years (2010-2012) (livejournal and Myspace refugees)

13 to 11 years (2013-2015) (you used to follow thebootydiaries)

10 to 8 years (2016-2018) (era of Russian bot conspiracy)

7 to 3.5 years (2019-2022) (post sex ban to Goncharov)

3.5 years or less (2023–2026) (Twitter refugee)

Remaining time: 2 days 22 hours

Rebagel for science pls.

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biplet

“Straws give you wrinkles” “sunlight gives you age spots” “smiling with your eyes gives you laugh lines” okay but what if I did that. What if I drank Vanilla Coke from a bendy straw and danced in the sunlight and laughed with reckless abandon. What then. We all age we all get wrinkles we all grow old and dammit I will do it with the sun on my face and the joy of life at my back

pipshinwhatever

logging onto tumblr like heyyy i'm thinking about the same character i've spent the past few weeks thinking about. no change here. just wanted to let yall know

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She's the yee to my yee