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Hehehehehehe, ohhhh shiiiittttttttt

They struggle to express themself with their emotions and others’ emotions but that doesn’t mean they’re incapable of feeling emotions.

I keep thinking about Cyan's death in the Among Us show. Well...to be more specific, I've been thinking about what was done to their body.

Everyone in the show has a very specific death. Or at least, the way they died feels specific to me.

White is first to die and was split in half. Their voice actor was specifically a guest star, so White was always going to die first. Their death serves as a starting point for the massacres and distrust that follows. It is also a direct reference to what the bodies in the game look like.

Blue is second to die and had their face ripped off. Blue is a very intelligent character, what with being a doctor, a poet, etc. while also clearly caring about everyone and their safety on the ship. They were trying to get scans of everyone in order to help them and protect them from what was happening/going to happen. Blue is seen as attractive by everyone on the ship and gets objectified by some of them. Their face being ripped off feels like it is meant to be symbolic of both their intelligence and the fact that, to some, they are only a pretty face. "The hot doctor."

Lime is third to die and gets both stabbed in the face and then exploded. Lime is a very eccentric and paranoid character, enough so that they get labeled as crazy. I feel like Lime is quite intelligent as well, but their intelligence gets overlooked because of how...I want to say "how over-the-top they are", but that's not the right word. I'm sure you understand though. Lime gets dismissed and continues to be labeled as paranoid and insane, even though they were RIGHT about there being murderous aliens on the ship. They had the scans that Blue printed off, including one of the missing bone ones, and mainly because of Red, Lime STILL gets labeled as crazy. No-one believed them. So Lime took matters into their own hands and tried to take out the aliens themself. Orange killed them by first skewering them in the face, then picking them up and (presumably) filling Lime with enough fluids/air to make their body explode. To me, I take this as symbolism for Lime's intelligence being disregarded as well as their impulsiveness in trying to kill Orange/the aliens alone. As I am writing this and thinking about their death, the being stabbed in the face makes me think of lobotomies. I don't quite know the exact use of lobotomies in the past, but I know it is the act of sticking a long needle into a specific portion of someone's brain and has the consequence of making that person less mentally capable. Stupid. An idiot. Whatever the best word for this would be. (Send help.)

Orange is fourth to die (technically first/second if we count Green and Orange becoming imposters as deaths) and gets ejected into space. Orange is a stickler for MIRA policy and, even as an imposter, does everything they can to abide by it (for the most part.) They are quite incompetent as an imposter, having only killed one crewmate (Lime) in front of basically the entire crew. They get tricked into the trash chute and instead of trying to fight their way out of being ejected, Orange tells the crew to follow MIRA's emergency ejections policy and to hold a vote before ejecting them. They don't even fight their death when they actually get out into space. Now, it's hard to say if there is specific symbolism for Orange's death, but I do think it is interesting that they didn't even fight it. I'm sure if they wanted to, they could've gotten out of the trash chute and killed at least one more crewmate. I did notice that in the first episode, after Green and Orange come back out from behind the crates where they were infected and turned, Orange had a noticeable mark on their foot (see when they bump into a crate and drop their trust ball.) I saw someone else notice this at one point and say that it could've been foreshadowing for "Orange tripping up on their kill and dying before the second imposter." Or something like that. It's not exact.

Yellow is sixth to die (I am skipping over Cyan at the moment) and dies via ejection into space. Yellow is framed and accused for killing Cyan in electrical when lights were down and Black was absent. After the lights and oxygen is fixed, Yellow is accused and voted out. When everyone checked their backpacks, the missing scan was in Yellow’s backpack (planted there by Green before they all went to fix O2.) Everything with Cyan and Yellow seemed to point to it being either Yellow (or Red), since Yellow was with Cyan and had the missing no bone scan (and Red was completely alone.) With Brown abstaining from the vote, Yellow is voted out with I think was a total of 3 votes to 2. And thus, Yellow is ejected and freezes to death in space. Unlike the others I've discussed so far, Yellow's death doesn't seem to be symbolic of them in particular. It does serve as a good reminder that MIRA's policies aren't exactly great and are even "increwmane," as Brown puts it, and that even if the evidence seems to blatantly point to some in specific, there is always the possibility of that being the wrong person.

Brown is seventh to die and gets killed while cooking with Yellow's flaky salt. They are specifically cut in half by a pizza cutter. Yellow and Brown were an inseperable pair, with Cyan even calling them "twin souls" and Gemini's. Soulmates, basically. And Brown dies almost immediately after Yellow does, and the way they die is by being cut in half. Split in two. Separated. Just like Brown and Yellow were just separated. And they died completely alone, with the only indication of their death being the pizza burning. If Brown wasn't actively cooking, if that pizza wasn't in the oven, no one would've ever found out that Brown died, nor would have the remaining few figured out that salt can kill the Imposters. The only reason Brown was found was because they were cooking, something they enjoyed doing with Yellow.

Black is eighth to die and is very very brutally exploded (in a very different way than Lime, but still) after discovering the truth about the Ore+. Black is a strange character to describe. They are steadfast in the immovable way and kind of prickly, if that makes sense. They are quite mean to Cyan and dismissive of them because "geology is not gemology, etc." We learn through Cyan's journal that Black is quite passionate about their work as a geologist. After Cyan, Yellow, and Brown have died, Black goes to storage to do an ore check (or something, I forget the exact reason they go there) and comes to the realization that the ship is very quickly becoming more and more of a tomb, that they might die next, and that they were too cruel to Cyan. They find Cyan's journal and learns more about Cyan and how much they cared. At the same time, through that journal and Cyan's talks about feeling something in regards to the Ore, Black discovers that the Ore are all actually alien eggs. That THAT'S how aliens got on board, THAT was how crewmates were dying. They celebrate. They go to tell the others. And they run into the last imposter and is forced into a chase. Black makes it to the cafeteria and locks the door so the imposter can't get through. And Black then contemplates dying, becoming something new after, practically accepting the fact they were about to die. The vent beneath them surges upwards (while they were expecting the imposter to come from the vent above them) and Black basically explodes into a bunch of pieces. Just like with Yellow, it's really hard for me to say there is any specific symbolism behind Black's death. Perhaps, like with Lime, it could be for Black's cruelty towards Cyan and how they basically blew up at them for nothing. Perhaps their death was supposed to serve as the final reminder of how truly serious and dire the situation was, especially since there were three people left at that point. It's hard to say for Black.

Green is ninth and last to die (unless you count them and Orange being infected as first/second) and dies via consuming Red, Purple, and saltwater. Green is a very very intelligent imposter. They managed to turn everyone against each other while keeping blame off of themself by playing the ignorant idiot with hopes, dreams, and a love for worms. They knew when to kill, when to slip away to kill, and how to redirect conversations to shift blame. They almost won. It came down to them, Red, and Purple. If it weren't for them slipping off to go kill Cyan, if they knew Purple's story about their history with Red, I'm sure they would've been able to eject Red and kill Purple. But they didn't. They didn't know the story and said something they shouldn't have, which tipped off Red and Purple to it being Green. They slipped up, probably while feeling so confident in how this was all going to end too. That overconfidence is what gets them killed later, in the final conflict between them and the final two. They toyed with Purple, fully confident they would be able to easily kill both Red and Purple. They drew out the fight. And right at the end, when Red and Purple are trying to use the saltwater weapon, Green eats them. Swallows them whole. If they didn't have the saltwater, Red and Purple would've died then. Because of Green's overconfidence and how they quite literally played with their food though, they died. They didn't account for the salt. And they died. In my eyes, the way Green dies here makes me think of that one thing about overconfidence being the worst killer. And their death literally IS that. They died because they were too overconfident.

Literally EVERYONE in the crew has some underlying meaning to how they died. EVERYONE (minus maybe Black because meaning is hard to find with them.)

...Which then leaves Cyan. The one crewmate I didn't talk about. And the reason I didn't is because I can't figure out what their death could represent. I can't even figure out the logic of their death and the fact that ONLY their visor was damaged in way to just...slide off their face.

I can't figure out anything about their death. Nothing. There is literally nothing to me.

Their visor being damaged like this is practically the equivalent of ripping out someone's eyes. WHICH YEAH, that CAN kill you, but I'm pretty sure only through blood loss or infection.

You can argue that it could be symbolic of Cyan knowing the truth about the Ore+ and actively seeing it while being unable to put it into the right words. They saw the truth and yet they were blind. Or something like that. AND EVEN THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME.

I try to not think too hard about Among Us anatomy as well, but even with the culmination of headcanons and potential explanations for their anatomy that I've seen, I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW CYAN'S VISOR IS DAMAGED LIKE THIS. I DON'T GET WHY.

Cyan...my beloved gemologist...my dear, precious creature...why? Why did you die like this? How did you die like this? What does it mean? Everyone else has some kind of meaning, but you? The symbolism behind you eludes me.

And then there is still Cyan.

Same warnings apply, proceed with caution.

Purple’s a really sad character to me. They’re constantly stressed out so ofc they’re not gonna be able to really bond with anyone.

Something I appreciate about their character is that despite not wanting to work for MIRA, they still try to help and earnestly want to protect others and they use the security job to do that. Even though they might’ve not liked Orange because they’re a MIRA follower, they still wanted to protect them when they thought Lime was the imposter. I think that if Orange lived longer and experienced a similar character arc as Red, Purple would’ve gotten along with them too.

but still, sometimes, things surprise me. and i was surprised today. because today an old man approached me at the park. and he said, you know, im a pediatrician.

which is already a weird start to a conversation, because i didnt know that. and maybe i should have just rolled with it, but instead i went

wait. i dont know that. why did you think i knew that?

which didn't even put him slightly off balance.

cuz you're bald, he said, so confidently that i didnt even question it until the conversation was over. now. i was - i was over there, sitting -

and he gestured across the park to a giant pile of soft dirt that had an almost cartoonishly exaggerated ass print on it which derailed me for the second time. right? because whoever sat on that dirt, clearly, had an ass like two coconuts being fired out of a spanish cannon. whereas this man had an ass that could probably only be detected with powerful scientific instruments. i told him this in more succint terms by simply saying that was clearly not his buttprint.

now at this point we'd gotten derailed twice, and as unflappable as he'd been the first time, he was starting to get a little defensive. so he said perhaps someone with a large butt sat down after i got up, and i said why are you lying about where you were sitting, and he said why would i do that? and i said if i knew, i wouldnt be asking, and he said fine, i was driving by - and i said why didn't you just say you were driving by?!?!?!?! and he said because i didn't want you to think i was the kind of crazy person that would just stop his car to tell a stranger in a park that he, as a pediatrician, could tell that your parents REALLY cared about tummy time!

then he left. angrily. he actually stomped back to his car. i dont know when i started laughing but i didnt stop until i got home. my voice is still all scratchy right now. ive been in a little bit of a writing funk but i had to get this down while i could still remember it so perfectly.

A HORRIBLE IDEA, REALLY PURPS

Summary:

wellllllll doesnt it get boring when ur all alone on a ship in the nowhere

what if ur not alone- u just dont wanna talk to that one person

haha no u have to talk to them bc either u do it or ull die of boredom

YES. FINALLY, AN EXCUSE TO PROJECT ON THEM. (I needed so, so little convincing.)

❤️ RED

From what we know of Red, they're people-pleasing, willing to conform if it means they can belong, fixated on status and authority, and will do whatever it means to put up a strong front, regardless if it's convincing or not. They have a very unstable sense of self and identity, are cautious to the point of indecision, and require direct instruction and command to do most anything because they're afraid of making mistakes, as well as the CONSEQUENCES of making mistakes.

Which is why, they might have come from a family that valued similar things, such as status, image, and fitting in. Maybe a sort of, middle-class suburban family who had to keep up appearances for their well-off peers. Red is most likely the middle-child sandwich between siblings who received more attention and recognition, or an only child who received the brunt of their parents' expectations that they could never quite meet.

(I truly think Red was an accident baby that forced their parents to get married, and their parents displace that resentment onto Red.)

Either way, it would have reinforced those deeply-seated insecurities and desire for accomplishment and accolades. If their family was the type to keep a good image for the neighbors, it would have been where Red learned to value social appearances. They might have been the kind of person who didn't quite fit in with either their community or the ideal child their parents wanted them to be, constantly chasing approval, because if they were "good" enough, then they'll finally "earn" the love they want.

If their parents' were concerned with what others thought of them, they would have enforced many strict rules on Red on top of those expectations. That kind of control very much stunts the developing sense of self, autonomy, and self-efficacy of a child. They become afraid of the world, afraid of what to do when they aren't being TOLD what to do, which makes them more susceptible to manipulation and coercion.

And what you get is a starved, scared child that grows up into a starved, scared adult who has no real convictions because their needs for emotional safety, security, and affection were not met.

Then they meet Purple.

💜 PURPLE

Meanwhile, what we know of Purple, is they have a very strong sense of justice. They're adamant about what's right and what's wrong, and fairness. They're smart, usually sensible, but act before they think when they feel something is wrong or something go against their values. They put a lot of importance on loyalty, trust, and having someone to rely on. They feel intensely, to the point it can be detrimental to them, and have associated their emotions with danger. They have trouble trusting people, which makes the few times they do trust someone much more meaningful, and therefore putting them in a more vulnerable position.

They may ruminate on things that hurt them, and since feelings are "unsafe" for them, they tend to externalize their emotions through action, which can come off as impulsive and short-sighted rather than self-soothing. They get very attached to things that are familiar, which brings them comfort, like pets, personal interests, or, well, a friend.

Which may imply that Purple didn't have a very stable childhood.

They might have had one present parental figure, with their other parent (most likely their sire parent), being absent. Maybe Purple's parents got divorced, due to incompatibility, abuse, or their sire parent's infidelity, but their sire parent is still minimally involved, through birthday cards, spotty child support payments, and a phone call every other year.

Which leaves the burden of childcare and raising Purple to their carrier parent.

Their carrier parent who is supporting themself and their child on a single income. Presumably, they have limited opportunities for themself as a young single parent with a toddler, so they'd have to prioritize work to provide for their child.

And Purple would be perceptive enough to understand this. Their parent is loving, their parent loves them, but their parent has to work very hard to make sure Purple has their basic needs. So Purple learned to be independent, to appreciate the value of hard work and loyalty, and to set aside their psychoemotional needs, since the more immediate needs of food, housing, clothing, and education were more pressing. Their parent loves them. Sure, Purple barely sees their parent. Purple eats alone, does homework alone, has no one to come see them during school events, or to talk to at night, but the fact they have a warm meal, clean clothes, and go to school, is proof that their parent loves them.

So naturally, Purple grows up hyperindependent, self-reliant, with strong values they admire from their main caretaker, and is just as starved of connection. So much so, that the first genuine friend they make feels like a life-altering relationship to them.

I'm so so sorry

Everyone survives but no one is left unscathed.

Red and Purple carry massive guilt for being the only ones without life changing injuries.

Green suffers from chronic nerve & muscoskeletal pain as well as muscle weakness ; they alternate between using an electric wheelchair & a rollator on good days.

Orange has severe balance issues as well as chronic migraines, they need a cane and feel dizzy & nauseous easily.

Blue had to have partial facial reconstruction done and has difficulties speaking due to some of the scarring.

Lime suffers severe visual impairment (I need to do more research to be more specific) and struggles with memory loss and slurred speech (more research needed also).

Although they were able to have a new visor attached for aesthetic purposes, Cyan completely lost their sight.

Black has heavy scarring across their entire body, lost dexterity in their left hand and lost their right hand entirely.

Yellow partially lost feeling in their fingers and feet. They've also lost dexterity and grip strength in both hands.

Brown has heavy scarring across their body and required multiple organ transplants. (Need to do more research here too)

White had to have a laryngectomy done and a breathing stoma put in. They use a customized AAC device to communicate.

Following the tragedy of the Skeld, the survivors tried their best to build their lives back up.

White's family paid for all of the crew's medical expenses, partly because White begged them to and mostly because headlines like "Platinum Pharma to cover victims' medical fees amid MIRA scandal" would make them look real good to the public

Having become good friends with Green, White invited them to live together in one of their family's secondary residences. They had work done to make the house wheelchair accessible and install a chair lift.

Due to their visual and memory issues Lime was unable to live on their own and returned to live with their parent. The two have reconnected and are slowly working on living arrangements.

Cyan moved in with Black and Black's two partners/roommates for what was originally a temporary solution but has since changed to permanent.

Purple: “The captain taught me the ship can be a mighty lonely place. I just needed a friend”

Cyan: “I’ve never felt so alone-“ Purple: “I know how you feel.”