tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake

- sincerely someone struggling to figure that whole thing out(also sorry if this sent multiple times for some reason, tumblrs been doing that to me)

Hi, Anon!

I was thinking of your ask all day, and I wanted it to be the last one I answer for the night so you can see it before it gets flooded with other stuff. But hello!

A funny story, bcos the "Homoerotic Asexual" part of my bio actually came from a silly sexuality meme generator from a few years ago. It just happened to fit so perfectly, I put it on my blog. XD

As for being ace while liking kink stuff, while I am by no means an expert on the matter, you CAN like things in fiction without it translating to your feelings or actions in real life. I personally like exploring themes in fiction, and sexuality, sex, and kinks are very good tools to do that with, since sexuality as the spectrum it is on both ends, is a natural part of being human.

Asexuality is generally considered to be having little to no sexual attraction to people, and I feel it's the label that closely describes my own experience, so that's what I use. Some people are fine with that, some people want to explore more to find a more specific microlabel to explain their experiences, and some might not want that label at all. Or you might feel ace now, but find a different label or identity in the future.

What matters is your experience and what meaning you derive from it.

That being said, I'm just a silly blog poster! I am definitely not the person anyone should be asking about things like this. But I'd be happy to leave some resources for you, or for anyone to also help Anon out with some resources they find useful. But thank you for sharing this, and I hope this did help you in some way. ^-^

https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-attraction-how-they-impact-relationships-5218956

So going on the assumption that Purple does in fact have the emotional load of the memories gone... how would this affect their relationship with Red going forward? The beginning of the Skeld? End of it? I do wonder where that changes the canon timeline, if there were imposters.

I'm sorry I just really like this AU :>

Hi, Moon!

Think of it as a little possible side AU. XD

Bcos I do think in the actual chronic hanahaki AU, Purple hangs on just as hard to the feelings and memories of Red. That's what caused their hanahaki in the first place.

But as for this side AU, I do think they act quite indifferently to Red. They're tired, still in pain from recovering from the operation bcos I do think you'll always have chronic pain and fatigue from it, and they have all these MEMORIES but none of the feelings. They know they should be angry at Red. They know they should hate them. But they reach for those feelings and get nothing. Like a phantom limb.

Meanwhile, I think Red is at first relieved that Purple doesn't seem mad. Then they get progressively more unsettled. Bcos I do think Red can handle Purple being angry. They can't handle Purple being tired of them, tho. They can't handle Purple IGNORING them. So they think this whole schtick is Purple being defiant in a different way. Pretending to ignore Red.

Which makes Red want their attention even MORE. To get ANY kind of reaction, bcos a reaction is proof that there's a CHANCE. (Catch me talking about Red's emotionally neglected childhood where they feel indifference and lack of attention is a threat bcos their parents weren't attentive, which made Red such an attention starved, people-pleaser with no sense of self.)

I'd love that conversation between them, tho. Purple tiredly revealing their operation scars. I remember I loved you, and it almost killed me. I'm not ignoring you to get your attention, I literally feel nothing for you. So let me do my job and leave me alone.

Red, EW. EWWWWWW. Why is Red so GROSS. /lh

Genuinely, they probably would. I do think Red has a thing about Purple wearing their clothes. And if they're at that gross, comfortable stage of their... whatever it is, Purple digs through Red's drawers in the morning and wears Red's clothes anyway. It's like, when you get married and you only have one toothbrush between you two, or yes, you share underwear, or you poop while your partner showers. They have NO boundaries and it would be concerning if they didn't act so unbothered about it.

but it's also filled with angst too. adding a kid into the mix somehow makes things worse. like all those conflicting feelings purple must have felt. how terrified purple was with how alone they are in this or they're not sure if they could properly love this child since red left their ability to love damaged.

It's very silly, I like that they're all pretty pacified bcos they have a sweet little bean to take care of. Even Lime's taken with Maggie, bcos the vents are the safest place for Maggie and they get scared, so Lime makes them feel safe.

AND YEEEEES, THAT'S THE APPEAL OF THE SPOUSECHASING + SECRET LOVECHILD!! The additional complication of being young, unemployed with no job prospects, and abandoned by the other parent of your unborn child.

They definitely considered terminating at some point, but couldn't push through with it. (I do think Purple has their own trauma about their other parent who abandoned them, and that's what stopped them from terminating.)

Their kid's literally their whole world, Purple considers Maggie the one good thing that came from their friendship/whatever-it-was with Red, bcos when they felt like their own life wasn't worth it, they had to think of their kid. Bcos Maggie was relying on them. And Purple didn't want to replicate the trauma both their parents gave them. Purple might be making their own mistakes that Maggie will have to deal with, but they're really trying.

IT'S SO FUNNY. They alllll clock it, to varying degrees of sensitivity and tacfulness.

Like, on one end you have Yellow and Brown who just say it to Purple's face. Lime does, too, in a sort of "really, big dawg?" kind of way.

Cyan is sweet, aw, I didn't realize the Captain had a sprout!

Blue is very understanding. There are variety of family dynamics, and while some may be complicated, the most essential part of a child's development is the security from their caretakers.

Black just looks at Purple. No words said.

Would they subtlety challenge eachother to see which of them is first to push Purple over the edge and overwhelm them enough (without causing any physical harm) for them to start crying?

Oh, absolu-fucking-lutely, I am projecting my dacryphilia on Red and Green.

I do think Purple crying under regular circumstances stresses them tf out, especially Red.

Look at their dumb faces. It's bcos Purple doesn't usually cry? They ignore their feelings, try to externalize it through action, or bottle it up until it explodes. Red can deal with Purple yelling, being angry, or being mouthy and sarcastic. But Purple crying stresses them out. Red doesn't know what to DO. The fastest way to get Red to cave is for Purple to cry.

Meanwhile, I think Green loves it.

It's a strange pull between, they wanna comfort and soothe Purple, bcos Purple is UPSET and that upset leaks everywhere, you can SMELL it in the air. But the sadistic, predatory part of them smells weakness, vulnerability, and prey.

OF COURSE IT IS. PLS ASK ME MORE, give me the SLIGHTEST reason to yap about this and I will!!

I do have a liiiiiiiittle WIP on it, which hopefully I'll be able to work on soon, but I hope everyone knows that I hc Purple's flowers for Red as red anemones and Red's flowers for Purple as lilacs.

Which is why I really like Yellow, Brown, and Purple friendship, because they'd go... really? Them??? Why are you putting up with this shit, hun? That's a chud right there

Nectar!! Hi!

Oh, we so should. I do think Yellow and Brown are mostly chill bcos they're essentially playing a cold war pact with the system. Unfortunately, we exist under capitalism, but you need labor just as we need pay, so follow our rights as people and employees and you'll get our services. We aren't friends. They aren't falling for Orange's HR speak or Red's attempts to brown-nose them.

If they only got to know Purple a little more, they would greatly respect Purple's moral compass, anti-authoritarian streak, and sympathize with Purple's situation. They'd even try to get Purple on their union bcos wtf you mean you suffered through corporate retaliation as a college intern? Honey, you should have had a union and a lawyer, this is criminal. Yellow especially would take a liking to Purple, bcos Purple is a lot like them! A spicy little meatball. Brown has to keep them both in check.

PLS. EVERYONE CONSPIRING TO HIDE MAGGIE FROM THE CAPTAIN. (And Orange, ofc. Idk if they try too hard around White but I think White is oblivious enough not to make a big deal of it.)

They DO NOT talk about it, no one does. Brown and Yellow leave out pizza crackers and milk on the counter then go back to the dishes. Lime keeps the vents loose and unlocked. Blue has a drawer lined with cotton balls and gauze. The most acknowledgment Maggie gets is from Cyan bcos Cyan coos and fawns over them, and Green, bcos Green is actually super good with kids since they have seven siblings back home. Black acts indifferent to Maggie, but you know they're teaching Maggie about geology when no one is around.

It's all a big open secret, which kinda helps a lot with crew synergy and productivity? The Skeld has never been this quiet or efficient. Orange thinks their trust ball exercises are finally paying off, Red thinks it's bcos of their impeccable leadership, and Purple might need a pill or two to deal with the stress.

I think ace Purple can get especially interesting with cameraworm though because it just adds another layer that Purple can't understand about Green. This monster wants you in a way you can't comprehend and you have to deal with that.

Kinda hits the same horror as breeding kink to me TBH

YES, YOU GET IT, ANON.

Purple is my favorite, that's why they get whored around so much. You give me a fundamentally loving, emotionally damaged, hypercompetent and hyperindependent character who was idealistic and hopeful until love burned them? Yeah, they're gonna get pregnant.

ANON, I SAW YOUR OTHER ASK, BE CRINGE AND BE FREE. Says the person hornyposting about Amongi jellybeans on main. XD

But that's so fucking funny. THEY HAD A THREESOME AND THOSE TWO WERE SHOOTING THEIR GUNK AND SPUNK EVERYWHERE. AND THEY ENDED UP PREGNANT INSTEAD.