tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake

Which is why I really like Yellow, Brown, and Purple friendship, because they'd go... really? Them??? Why are you putting up with this shit, hun? That's a chud right there

Nectar!! Hi!

Oh, we so should. I do think Yellow and Brown are mostly chill bcos they're essentially playing a cold war pact with the system. Unfortunately, we exist under capitalism, but you need labor just as we need pay, so follow our rights as people and employees and you'll get our services. We aren't friends. They aren't falling for Orange's HR speak or Red's attempts to brown-nose them.

If they only got to know Purple a little more, they would greatly respect Purple's moral compass, anti-authoritarian streak, and sympathize with Purple's situation. They'd even try to get Purple on their union bcos wtf you mean you suffered through corporate retaliation as a college intern? Honey, you should have had a union and a lawyer, this is criminal. Yellow especially would take a liking to Purple, bcos Purple is a lot like them! A spicy little meatball. Brown has to keep them both in check.

PLS. EVERYONE CONSPIRING TO HIDE MAGGIE FROM THE CAPTAIN. (And Orange, ofc. Idk if they try too hard around White but I think White is oblivious enough not to make a big deal of it.)

They DO NOT talk about it, no one does. Brown and Yellow leave out pizza crackers and milk on the counter then go back to the dishes. Lime keeps the vents loose and unlocked. Blue has a drawer lined with cotton balls and gauze. The most acknowledgment Maggie gets is from Cyan bcos Cyan coos and fawns over them, and Green, bcos Green is actually super good with kids since they have seven siblings back home. Black acts indifferent to Maggie, but you know they're teaching Maggie about geology when no one is around.

It's all a big open secret, which kinda helps a lot with crew synergy and productivity? The Skeld has never been this quiet or efficient. Orange thinks their trust ball exercises are finally paying off, Red thinks it's bcos of their impeccable leadership, and Purple might need a pill or two to deal with the stress.

I think ace Purple can get especially interesting with cameraworm though because it just adds another layer that Purple can't understand about Green. This monster wants you in a way you can't comprehend and you have to deal with that.

Kinda hits the same horror as breeding kink to me TBH

YES, YOU GET IT, ANON.

Purple is my favorite, that's why they get whored around so much. You give me a fundamentally loving, emotionally damaged, hypercompetent and hyperindependent character who was idealistic and hopeful until love burned them? Yeah, they're gonna get pregnant.

ANON, I SAW YOUR OTHER ASK, BE CRINGE AND BE FREE. Says the person hornyposting about Amongi jellybeans on main. XD

But that's so fucking funny. THEY HAD A THREESOME AND THOSE TWO WERE SHOOTING THEIR GUNK AND SPUNK EVERYWHERE. AND THEY ENDED UP PREGNANT INSTEAD.

HI, HI, HELLO, ANON. I WOULD BE HAPPY TO.

A lot of this might change or move around depending on whats fits better but for now:

• In this AU, Red and Purple were privates together in the MIRA naval army. But then, poor funding, lack of proper training, and incomplete information led to the bombing of the Henry colony, which was the colony their troop was stationed at.

• Both Purple and Red received commendations for their time there. But the way the army handled the entire operation made Purple more jaded, so they left and pursued their career in engineering. While Red stayed and rose up the ranks to becoming Captain of the Skeld.

• This part is a little looser and messier, but I do think since the bombing at the Henry colony wasn't completely bcos of MIRA's neglect, and Purple didn't receive the harsh retaliation they did in canon, bcos their service was just transferred to a different branch of the government, the strain on Purple and Red's friendship wasn't as bad.

• Purple does not like talking about or remembering the Henry colony bombing.

• It might have taken a few good years before Purple and Red officially started courtship. In the eyes of the ton, they were essentially engaged the whole time.

I think my clothing kink has been generally obvious bcos yeeeeeeees. While Purple's taller, Red and Green are both bulkier and stockier? So their clothes are kinda huge on Purple.

Purple wearing Green's hoodie now and then is SUPER cute, but I think Purple wearing Red's captain's coat is. Hnnnnng. It's hot. It looks good on Purple. Red doesn't know which is better, Purple looking like they belong to Red or Purple being captain instead, bcos both thoughts make their brain all fuzzy. Either way, if they could make Purple keep it and wear it everywhere, they would.

Oh, Anon, we are waaaaaay ahead of you, come join me and @/nectarmouth, bcos yes. Red should have a spousechasing arc. Tbh, the entire show should count as Red's futile attempts to move on to Phase 2 of the spousechasing arc. They already caught and reclaimed their wayward spouse, they just gotta woo them. It took a whole crew dying but at least Red succeeded?

Kidding aside, I fucking love these kinds of stories. I will never get tired of some stupid chud who treated their spouse badly getting their ass left behind, only for five years to pass and they see their lost love with an adorable toddler that has their hair or eyes or smile or some shit. I eat that up. Give me ten more servings of that.

I really like thinking of. Their little toddler stowing away on the Skeld. Bcos Magenta can't just let their parent and comfort person LEAVE like that, even if it means staying with cool Uncle Joshie for a month. And now Purple has to manage taking care of their preschooler, and making sure Red NEVER finds out that this child is theirs.

And Red's complicated feelings about it. Who is Maggie's other parent? Are they still around? Where are they? All this time, that Purple's been struggling to make ends meet bcos of the corporate retaliation against them, they've had this adorably precocious child who acts so much like Purple to take care of. (How soon did Purple move on from Red to someone else, Maggie's four years old, almost the same amount of time since Red last saw Purple.)

Maggie trying to comfort Purple when they start spiraling and trying to keep it together for their kid, only for Maggie to hug them and say, in a small, small voice, I like being with you.

Bcos having someone you trust and care about, only to abandon you that easily, does FUCKED up things to your sense of self-worth. If this person could be my friend, could seem to care about me and value the relationship we had together, only to leave me behind as if I meant nothing, then what does that say about me?

You're not important enough. You didn't matter to them after all. It was easier to choose something else than you.

Oh, ABSOLUTELY. I do think the alien parasites themselves have their own biological directives to mate, breed, and propagate. So that natural biological programming gets all mixed up with the host body's needs, wants, and emotions. The host body had a little crush or infatuation with someone else, but then it gets jumbled up with the all-consuming drive to MATE from the Impostor's origins, coupled with that hunger and natural hunting instinct.

Alright it’s time for some #Nubwuz projecting!

Purple that’s more indifferent to sec participating in intimate or sexual activities not for their enjoyment l, but for the enjoyment of their partner because their partner’s enjoyment is what makes them the most happy.

I love my horny jellybeans, but I do hope everyone here sees the distinctly asexual way I write anything sexy or horny. XD

I promise I wanna write normal kisses or normal sexy, but tbh? Sex as an ACTION is kinda... boring for me? It's repetitive. I like sex as a tool to explore other things, like character dynamics or feelings or as a character study. The sex is just another way to pry that all out of a character. It's like. A scalpel. Which is. A very unsexy way to describe sex. XD

But yes, I agree with you! I think Purple would like the control of sex. Depending on the partner, the function of sex would differ. If it was for Cyan, then yeah, just being close and making Cyan feel good is enough! With Red, it's... regaining control. Retribution. Making Red feel a fraction of what Purple feels. If it was with Green, for Crewmate Green, it could be about the curiosity. The contempt but also the pity for someone who resembles Purple's old self. And if it was Impostor Green, it's a fight. It's mutual attempts to dominate the other. It's about proving a point.

What could he do? Should have been a politician. But he never had a proper education.

What could he do? Should have been a father. But he never even made it to his twenties.

What a waste, army dreamers.

[MOUTH KISS] passion, love, desire; the most common polus au • civil engineer and polus station commander purple x intern green

"Where do you want me to put this box of expensive, valuable, precious Ore+, Sir?"

"Just put it with the rest." Purple waves a hand at the intern as they double-check inventory. It's a pretty good haul, enough to tide them all over through Polus' night season until the Skeld comes back for another restock in maybe a moon cycle or two.

"I really don't know how you all do it, Commander." Green, the Skeld's intern, keeps talking. Of course, they do, they're the Skeld's intern; what else would the kid learn but talk? "This planet just seems so… far."

"Aren't you training to be a captain?" Purple raises a brow at them.

"Well, yeah." Green shrugs. "But that's different. You get to fly a cool ship, go to cool places, but then after… you get to go home. On the Outpost, you have to stay."

Green fiddles with one of the ores.

"Don't you get homesick?"

A planet that isn't plunged in darkness for two-thirds of its moon cycle. Weather that doesn't swing from blizzard to fire. Actual trees. The ocean.

Purple taps at their clipboard.

"I guess that's what they pay us the good beans for." Purple points at another box. "Now, get to stacking."

"Yes, Commander!" Green straightens and salutes, attempting to put their box of Ore+ with the rest. Keyword: attempt, as they rush over only to trip on one of Gray's access tunnels.

It goes quick, the aftermath of it, the fallout and the damage of it, Purple dropping their clipboard to catch Green by the elbow, the sleeve of their jacket, but even if Purple is taller— older, more used to the day-to-day bullshit that happens between one simple task and the next— Green is, against all odds, a stocky college student built like a brick shithouse, and they fall together.

Something clatters with them; hopefully not the Ore+, but most definitely the Ore+, and whatever defects incurred on the product is gonna come out of Purple's paycheck and Green's currently nonexistent one, but that matters less than the concussion they're gonna get once their head hits the floor.

Except, it doesn't.

Green cushions the back of their head before it makes contact, their large hand an excellent pillow, with the knuckles of their fingers crushed on the gravel instead of Purple's skull or their fragile, delicate, well-compensated brain.

The hard knock of Green's front teeth on Purple's top lip is a small price to pay, all things considered.

"Ow." Purple covers their mouth, the wet slick of it pooling in their palm.

"Are you okay?" Green breathes against Purple's mouth, their other, not-crushed hand with all its intact, functional fingers braced beside Purple's head. It smells like cheese and rehydrated tomato soup. "Are you hurt? You're bleeding, like, a lot, which is— totally fine and normal??"

"I'm fine." Purple attempts; keyword: attempts, to sit up, but with Green's big, dumb… everything on Purple, it's kinda hard to. "Stop looking at me like that, I'm not gonna die, just help me up—"

"What are you two doing?"

The Captain of the Skeld. Red. Captain Red. Captain of the Skeld Red, stands in the open doorway of Storage, their shadow looming over both of them. The everyday bullshit between one task and another.