tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake

HAHAHAHAHA, I'M SOOOOOORRY, PURPLE'S JUST SO BREEDABLE.

PLS JOIN ME IN THE VISION. Purple being grumpy and bitchy but they're also waddling around all round and soft and sore. They can't run like this. They can't fight like this. They cry easily, they get tired quicker, and they fold when you hug them. They're clawing at you for doing this to them but it's hard to even walk so they don't make a fuss when you carry them.

They're miserable. They're upset. They'd bite you if their clever brilliant brain wasn't in a constant fog and their own body wasn't changing in horrific ways against their will. You get to fold them up in your shared bed and kiss their forehead all sweet-like. They'll fall asleep regardless.

AND TO ANSWER THIS ONE. IT DEPENDS.

I'll stick with my main ships where I have some idea of their kids, tho.

Bcos ofc we have Magenta. They're very much a good mix of both. I think they're as extroverted and energetic as Red when it comes to it, but with Purple's genuine self-confidence and self-assurance. They have Purple's tendency to prioritize others, bcos they can be extremely protective of their parent, and tbh, Red would tell you they're more Purple's kid than theirs. Maggie cries the same way Purple does. I think they grow up to be a Detective.

Then there's Plum. I like to think Plum is more like Red, when they were younger. Anxious, insecure, and shy. They think Red is an absolute hero. Nothing is scary when Red is around. They're cautious and careful, but they have the same moral compass as Purple, so they have bursts of confidence when they feel strongly about something. Think your friend who can't talk to people but will demand your meal be remade if they got your order wrong.

Also what do you think any fan kids would be like? For any of the pairings. What parent would they take more after?

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK, ANON, I AM VERY HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT BLUEPURPLE ROYALTY AU.

I personally think, Red is the acting regent or reigning feudal lord of the Skeld territory here, within the empire of MIRA. Maybe a viscount with some decorative military commendations?

And Purple serves as the retainer for the Skeld. Except, it's an extremely reluctant, volatile working relationship. I imagine a similar betrayal during their military service with Red led to their falling out. I also imagine Purple has some kind of long-term disability that had them dishonorably discharged and unable to find work.

Which means they spend quite a lot of time with Blue. I do think they're friends. And Blue hears them out on Red's unreasonable demands and how they perpetuate unfair taxes on the people in the Skeld territory on MIRA's behalf. Red is the representative of the Crown here, after all.

It's a very sweet friendship. I like to think Blue leaves pressed flowers in the books they lend to Purple.

green has purple loosely wrapped in a tentacle while cuddling or something and starts annoying purple by poking them in the face because theyre boooreeedd and after the billionth time purple whips their head around and ends up biting green on the tentacle, and i dont mean just a cute bite mark, im talking a chunk comes out of it, purple didnt mean to bite them That Hard so purple sits there in shock, impostor blood dripping from their mouth, as green tightens a (not injured) tentacle around purple and starts cooing at them like purple was a kitten that grabbed their hand with tiny claws and teeth.

(and green is giddy that purples finally play fighting with them again!! yes!!! this is the one who faced off against them and tried to stop them! they havent played like this since the skeld!! <this was greens desired outcome of weeks of being really annoying on purpose btw.)

THAT'S SO FUCKING CUTE AND HORNY. YES. PURPLE BITING BACK. PURPLE BITING A CHUNK OUT OF GREEN AND SPITTING IT OUT.

Green's blood in Purple's mouth. Purple reeks of them. There's no mistaking who Purple belongs to.

And Green thinking of it as PLAYFIGHTING. ROUGHHOUSING. Purple RECIPROCATING.

I like to think this might be a part of the alien parasite's breeding/mating behaviors. You provoke a mating prospect into fighting. You get covered in each other's scents and entrails. Weaken your mating prospect enough that the stronger participant breeds the weaker one. This is reciprocation to Green.

Anyways, I just wanted to know what you thought of a poly Skeld crew. More specifically, Green an Imp from the moment they stepped on the ship but didn’t get to kill anyone because they tripped and ended up getting a crush on 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦

(Bonus bottom Green it ever gets to that point)

Tbh, I think this is just canon. XD

I'm just a Purple simp, so ofc Green has the biggest crush on Purple, and bcos Episode 10 proves my point objectively right. /lh, jk

But we do have a liiiiiiiittle AU with @/nectarmouth, about the crew crashing in the Fungle. And the environment is so optimal for mating purposes that the hunting and predation instincts take a backseat.

If you think of the alien parasites as animals, their prime directive is to eat and breed. Orange is an excellent example of someone from their species who prioritizes the welfare of the offspring/breeding instinct, as opposed to Green, who would be younger, less regulated, and more prone to aggression/hunting instinct. Think of those teenager elephants who need older elephants to take them down a peg or two.

I need y'all to get out of my DMs, bcos I feel like you're all spying. XD

The angst of the whoooooole secret lovechild AU kills me in the best way. They think they're trying to rekindle an old friendship. They think extending this olive branch in the form of a job offer would fix... everything. And things could go back to the way things were.

It'd literally break them if they knew about the whole secret baby they accidentally abandoned. It adds another layer of betrayal to what they did to Purple.

If they ever get a glimpse of Red, maybe they get more interested in them, because Maggie does some things that Red does or say and just wants to know more about them, and why Purple never talks about them

Also your writing is so good!! I love it a lot!!

I'm happy you think it's cute and you're having fun, Anon, bcos there's tooooooootally no angst and anguish in the AU where Purple had to raise their ex-friend's/situationship's illegitimate child in poverty that was partially caused by Red. :333

(It makes me DELIRIOUSLY giddy, the silly makes the pain that much funnier and more delicious.)

AW. I just wanna say, Maggie would have been SUCH a Baba's bean, if they knew Red. Red's stupidly weak for their kid, esp when their kid just acts so much like Purple. Red calls them their "co-captain" or "Cadet". I like to think, in this secret lovechild AU, Maggie likes to sit in the vents near Navigation bcos they're curious about the one person their Mimi won't let them meet.

Hello, Anon!!

I tried limiting this list to my top 4 things I wanna write as soon as I can???

• Chapter Two of "laundry and taxes with you"

• Impostor Purple fic

• Everyone loves Purple fic

• CameraCap Post-Finale conversation in medbay

IT'S SO. SOFT. Purple mumbling it while they cling to Red bcos they literally have no other option and nowhere else to go. Yes, they were determined to make Purple tear up and get frustrated, they expected some swearing and cursing. They thought it'd be like pulling teeth or trying to tame a rabid dog.

Instead, they get Purple fisting their shirt and hiccuping in a very small voice, please.

Orange: "Anyway, so yes, if you could just sign-"

Red: *turns and throws up into a trash can*

Orange: "Uh, well, if you could just sign-"

Red: *starts sobbing into the trash can*

Orange: "Uh, are you okay-"

Red, suddenly very angry: "PURPLE-!"

Red: *marches out of the room to track down Purple*

Orange: "Uh..."

This is what I mean when I say I enjoy the recent Orange asks. XD

Bcos YES. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT GOES. Orange just wants to do their job! The job they love for the company they shill for! NO ONE SIGNS THE DAMN PAPERWORK.

In all seriousness, I am GIGGLING at this drama. JUST IMAGINE. You offer up a job to your ex-friend/situationship to make up for the awful way you betrayed them and became part of the system that persecuted them. You think this could be your chance to. Atone? For everything. Even if you can't consciously acknowledge your mistakes bcos to do so would call into question your entire sense of self.

So you think, a job and a close working environment will eventually get you the absolution and reconciliation you desperately want, without any of the self-reflection or accountability needed.

Except, they come and they're. Indifferent. Cold. Distant. They get along with STRANGERS better than YOU. Whatever it is you thought would complete you if you get it from them, you aren't getting it.

Red x Orange x Purple

I would divulge more but I have to go do things cuz I’m busy

Okay, I am willing to hear this out, Nubwuz. I do think Orange would be visor twitching at the HR violations Red commits bcos of Purple without being aware of how compromised they are. Red genuinely believes they're doing things by the book as much as they can, meanwhile Orange is bracing for the extremely substantiated harassment claim Purple could file against them.

2 hour lecture

Oh, dw, once the mess of their divorce bleeds into everyone else's business, Orange absolutely knows they made a huuuuuuge HR blunder. Tbf to Orange, they didn't think getting signatures for their employee's legally-mandated insurance claims would lead to a superior officer confronting said employee about their supposed secret lovechild from their internship years.

PLS, THEY WOULD.

Purple has one (1) dependent on their insurance forms, and it's a five-year old named "Magenta". They have asthma and eczema that flares up when exposed to allergens. Since Purple is an employee, they need Red's signature as the official supervising officer so that MIRA can cover the child's medication, as mandated by law.

Is this enticing in the slightest

It absolutely is, it so is. Maybe in a situation where Purple thinks they've stumbled into a friends(?)-with-benefits situation with Red and Green, that they believe is strictly physical and was completely incidental.

Meanwhile, Red and Green are just. Both floored they managed to bag Purple at all. It's okay to TOUCH them and be around them. The labels and the "are they together?????" stuff might be murkier, but as long as Purple's here with them, what else matters?