[snake voice] otacon crank the music, its time to open this fucking pit up

makes your puppy dusty

Long Horse Makes Sad Horn Noises At Local Bastard Man

there is absolutely no way i could’ve prepared myself to see the animal that showed up begging for scraps.

those is mcdonalds jeans?

Fun fact: those McDonald’s jeans are part of the standard uniform here in Colombia. I’ve tried at least 16x to ask where they source them, if I can buy them from the manager, even going McDonald’s not to order food but just to ask for the jeans. I asked someone high up in their marketing dept here to see if maybe they know which company sourced them, and still couldn’t get my hands on a pair. Apparently employees only get one pair per year. They’re slightly high-waisted, they taper very slightly, they’re always kind of high water at the bottom, and they’re the perfect light jean color. They’re not stiff, they’re not that stretchy, they’re the perfect denim material. They come with a cloth belt that’s either yellow or turquoise, and the stitching on the M is almost sensual. I will not give up

THERE IS. A MAN. IN THE DRIVE THRU. ON A HORSE. WHO CARES ABOUT JEANS? THERES A HORSE, LOOSE IN THE DRIVE THRU.

That “oh” at the end is the funniest thing I have ever seen. There is no other diplomatic way to respond.

Okay but what if everything hurts

Add pillows

Out of Touch Thursday

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

a character in an old british movie will be like omg i have 5 pounds 3 shillings 4 bobs a tuppence and a farthing and a ha’penny and im like. wig ok

despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain im just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

Try being in a group of ten or more Jewish adults 😔

hang on i need to ask some of my jewish friends smth

yeah this is funny

so much drama in one photo

somebody hold me back

The Joker Shoots Eric Andre, but another identical Eric Andre walks out from the curtain and keeps doing the interview like nothing happened