Howdy, bastards

people will have double-digit opinions on kink discourse and still manage to not know what BDSM stands for

big dick super mario

big dick super mario

you're so beautifol :) may i sense you with my feelers

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

“tumblr is nice because it’s anonymous and irrelevant so it doesn’t affect my real life in any way.” Wrong. if you are on here for long enough the words of your mortifying adolescent internet diary will be written on the subway walls and tenement halls and out of the mouths of coworkers and over the faces of tiktokers and and in reddit screenshots posted on instagram sent to you by your friends and in ai dupe novelty t shirts and in the smiles of strangers repeating bits you forgot you left lying around on here when you were a teenager. and also pinterest.

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

What do you mean you can’t find a job? Have you looked on Indeed? What about Linkedin? You should try Upwork. How about Rise? Have you tried Jobera? Take a look on Dribbble. You GOTTA be on Jooble, dude. Get on Jooble. Jooble has it for you.

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

This is one of your worst posts yet man

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

OH SHIT SHE’S THREE

not ignoring you not replying to you but a secret third thing

forgor

girl unhinge ur jaw

UNCLENCH. I MEANT UNCLENCH

@dragon-in-a-fez I bet you have some Thoughts about this. (Sorry if this is out of line... feel free to ignore if so.)

my favourite (derogatory) thing on there is "find out about a school board meeting". like you don't even have to go. just like. know about it. it will help fight censorship if you are aware of an event where someone could potentially try to censor something but maybe they don't and you won't know anyway because you didn't go

Fun fact: the DC area will be hotter than 99% of the earth tomorrow!