I Draw Sometimes

'When pierced by needle, doth pillow protest?' This is a question, Bek asking Eloise if she's okay with her 'needle' piercing her 'pillow'. The nouns 'needle' and 'pillow', have juxtaposing connotations, showing how Bek sees herself as much harsher than Eloise. This is furthered by the verb 'pierced', highlighting how lowly Bek sees herself compared to Eloise, as 'pierced' is very much a negative term, even though a needle in a pillow is likely of aid. This shows that Bek sees herself as harming Eloise, even if she's helping her. The use of 'pillow' specifically rather than another soft fabric also hints at the romantic aspect of Bek's feelings towards Eloise.

'Nay, for beyond the sharpest point it wields.' This is kind of a fragment of a longer phrase so I can't go into massive detail, but it means the next part is true even when Bek is trying to be a diligent knight and harsh ('sharpest'). The interline caesura is also significant, as it represents her hesitation to admit the next line and the separation between her duty and her feelings to Eloise.

''Gainst sapphire cloth the needle holds no contest.' This shows Bek not opposing the blue kingdom if it's Eloise -- which is big, seeing as before she'd been very firmly on the red side of the conflict. The concept of Eloise is enough to make Bek reconsider her loyalties. The 'against' mirrors their positions facing each other on the battlefield, but the superlative 'no contest' portrays the extent of Bek's willingness to comply to Eloise. The cloth being sapphire rather than simply blue matters too -- gemstones are precious, and sapphire is correlated with many positive things, showing Bek's high regard, and that she's willing to accept the blue kingdom as positive with Eloise in the picture, furthered by the fact that dark blue (read: sapphire blue) symbolises royalty.

'When with enthusiasm soft fibres yield.' And Eloise reciprocates! Bek's needle 'holds no contest' when Eloise's 'soft fibres yield'. 'Soft' heightens Bek's affection, whilst 'enthusiasm' parallels this affection with Eloise's similar eager romantic feelings. The word 'yield' is really interesting, because if you look up the definition there are two relevant meanings. The first is to give way to arguments, demands, or pressure -- this is likely the intended meaning, and it is used in a relevant positive context, but it's interesting that the pure meaning is negative; emphasising the struggles and shadows of their relationship and the strains of being part of two warring kingdoms, being forced to 'yield' rather than come to their own conclusion. However, the second meaning is to relinquish possession of a stated noun. Although this wasn't the definition Bek likely intended, I wonder if it could have implicit symbolisms of Eloise relinquishing possession of her loyalty to her kingdom in favour of Bek, or even relinquishing possession of her crown, or her queen status.

''Tis not to say the weapon cannot wound.' For this line and the rest of the second stanza, Bek talks about how her being a knight has lead to many acts of ruthlessness. The word 'cannot' rather than an equally acceptable 'will not', hinting that though Bek has the capacity to hurt, she may not always wish to. The needle is now referred to as simply 'the weapon', which emphasises the possibility of Bek harming Eloise.

'For many a cry it wrings from feeble foe.' It is unclear whether this is a prideful statement or a guilty confession -- the word 'wrings' would suggest a violent, almost visceral nature, yet the alliterative negative phrase 'feeble foe' may suggest her pride in fighting enemies. 'Cry' and 'feeble' also hint to how she sees the blue kingdom, which starkly contrasts her aforementioned view on Eloise.

'Upon its thread its victories are festooned.' This is a reference to the medieval tradition of knights decorating their weapons with their victories, furthering the metaphor of the needle representing the knight. This refers to Bek's experience as a knight, but also, as the needle was previously seen 'piercing' the fabric, it may hint to Eloise being one of said victories. The concept of her being a 'victory' may be a symbol of honour, or pride, or deserving, as Bek presents Eloise's love as something she had to fight for.

'When crimson rivulets from fingers flow.' The 'crimson' blood of her enemies clearly represent the red kingdom's victory, whilst the word 'rivulets' has softer, less intense connotations than blood, to further her pride in her own kingdom. However, I would like to talk about the metaphor for the red kingdom being blood whilst the metaphor for the blue kingdom (see line 3) is sapphires. This shows her wavering loyalties and willingness to accept Eloise as part of the blue kingdom. The focus on fingers also highlights this state of being torn between duty and love, as hands signify both power or utility and connection.

'But as it weaves through fabric, feather-down.' The 'but' is important here -- yes, Bek has hurt people before, *but* that's not all there is to her. The 'weaves' represents her slipping in and out of duties versus love, by the metaphor of the needle slipping in and out of cloth. The metaphor is also explored through directly correlating the fabric to the feathers of a swan (ie Eloise), whilst the specific words 'feather-down' have very soft connotations to reflect how Bek sees her and juxtapose the previous stanza of Bek's brutal nature as a knight. The caesura between stanzas also carries some significance, portraying the fragile line between her two commitments.

'Both know it cannot injure, rend, nor tear.' Not only is Bek too 'soft' with Eloise to hurt her, but also vulnerable enough with her for Eloise to acknowledge this. The 'cannot' mirrors the 'cannot' from the previous stanza, and has the same meaning -- it's not that she will not, no, it goes against her very being to hurt Eloise, which furthers her split loyalty. The tricolon of 'injure, rend, nor tear' highlights the extent of her inability to hurt Eloise, all whilst developing the metaphor of cloth by using words generally related to fabric ('tear' in particular).

'No purchase in the plumage, it would drown'. The 'needle' (spear/weapon) cannot gain anything from the hypothetical ('would') situation that Bek would hurt Eloise, as 'purchase' is another example of the victories a knight would 'festoon' onto their weapon, and the superlative 'no' emphasises the pain she would go through if she ever hurt Eloise. This is a stark contrast to her previous statements about her viciousness as a knight, furthering the idea of Eloise being the exception. 'Drown' not only shows the metaphorical death of Bek's moral values, but also reflects their kingdom's divide again, showing her death as caused by water (the *blue* kingdom), using the symbolic concept of the swan's habitat being the antithesis of what Bek stands for.

'A single scarlet strand must hold it there.' And this is the obvious point that Bek's love for Eloise is restrained by her pledge of loyalty to the red kingdom. The 'single' shows that her loyalty may be fraying or running thin in favour of love, and 'must' displays the necessity of her diligence. I haven't been entirely strict on watching everything from all povs, but from what I can tell, the knights take their duty extremely seriously, and betraying their values means betraying themselves. 'Hold' enforces this, hinting at Bek's desire to simply be free of kingdom constraints with Eloise, and having to be held back by her pledge. The fact that the red kingdom is reflected by a 'strand' also means a lot -- her loyalty to her kingdom is encouraging her work as a needle -- a weapon -- her knighthood and kingdom go hand in hand, both opposing Eloise.

'Yet needle seeks sweet plumage, fraught with fear.' The 'yet' compliments the 'but' from line nine, both together portraying her emotional turmoil and confliction as she weighs up both sides of the argument. The plumage being 'sweet' is another example of Bek's affection, and this persistent motif of gentleness juxtaposes the needle and its enemies, showing how Eloise's gentleness and Bek's towards her completely destroys how Bek is meant to feel. The 'seeks' is also interesting- throughout the extended metaphor, the needle has been seen 'piercing' the cloth, which raises the question of what she seeks if not to be with the swan. She doesn't just want to be with Eloise, she searches eagerly for her love to be requited. It is not enough to simply 'weave through the fabric', the fabric must embrace the needle in return. 'Fraught' is a fundamentally negative term, contrasting the 'seeking sweet plumage'. Specifically, the fact that she's 'fraught with fear' is another example of her confliction and emotional turmoil, as she's filled with the anxiety of what will happen once she has to choose. She definitively 'cannot' hurt Eloise, yet any other course of action would be betraying the principals she grew up to uphold.

'Perhaps the pen is mightier than the spear.' The 'perhaps' is the key word here, but this is her answer to the question of loyalty. Although she is unsure of her decision, she is choosing to take the side of Eloise (as a pen is a female swan). 'Mightier' shows that she belives love is an objectively more powerful force than duty, and 'spear' is a direct reference to the metaphor of the needle. This is also a play on words on the phrase 'the pen is mightier than the sword', which suggests that violence can be overcome through writing or peace -- writing can be interpreted as a metatextual reference, hinting that poetry like her own can mend the wounds of war. The other interpretation, that the 'pen' represents peace, shows Bek's desparation and hope that peace between kingdoms can allow her to love Eloise without betraying her loyalty.