Team Work Makes The Dream Worm

mandatory report to the watchful eye

1.

Review by Ali

The Housemaid 2025

Watched 16 Dec 2025

This review may contain spoilers.

Ali’s review published on Letterboxd:

stop calling this movie “twisty.” the twist is that rich people are evil pervert. that is not a twist. that is information.

personally this would never happen to me because i would simply use my Eyes and Ears to detect the evil house and then leave. “but she needed the job” i dont care. i will become a different person with a different job. i will move to the woods and eat bugs. i am not sleeping in the punishment attic. i am build different. i have what scientists call “a sense of danger.” i see a room that locks from the outside and i say “no thank you i choose life.” send me to jail. send me to the Ocean. i dont care. i am not entering the bad room. “but she was desperate” ok well i would simply become Not desperate.

Rich people in these movies are always saying things like “would you like a tour of the house” and then they show you a hallway that goes the wrong direction and a staircase to nowhere and a room thats just Teeth and youre supposed to nod n smile like it’s normal. “this is the east wing” the east wing is making loud Torture noises. “we dont go in there” ok cool thanks for the heads up. “the previous maid loved it here” where is the previous maid now nina. “around.” around Where. i am going to get back in my car now.

“Wait let me show you where youd be sleeping” it is an attic that locks from the outside. there are scratch marks on the door. the window is painted shut. “we just really value your privacy” i do not think that is what this is. “the last girl loved it up here” where is she now. “she left.” through the painted shut window? “she found a way.” why is there a bucket in the corner. “thats for. storage.” storage of What. it was nice to meet you nina i am leaving now in my car. she would say “but the salary” and i would already be gone. i would be a cloud of dust in the shape of a person who is not staying in the maid cage. i dont care if u r offering me one hundred bajillion million dollars i am not sleeping in the people crate. “its totally normal” i do not think so. Are you sure thats how doors work? you sure the maid bedroom is supposed to lock the maid inside? cause i asked the guy at the home depot and he said you are Pervert.

“dont you want to see the basement” absolutely not. “its a wine cellar” i am sure it is. i am sure you have many wines down there. i am sure nothing else is down there. i am sure if i went down there i would come back up. i am sure of that. you are nodding too much. you are nodding like a person who has a secret basement thing going on. i am not going to be the next wine. and this is the spiral staircase” it goes down like nine hundred feet. “its italian marble.” great. “andrew designed it himself.” did he. it looks like a place where something bad would happen. it looks specifically designed for someone to fall down. “its perfectly safe.” it is not. i am an adult. i can see a murder staircase when i see one. “would you like to stand at the top.” i would not. “the view is lovely.” the view of what. the view of the Floor? from Fatally High Up? i will pass. Thank You

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