Dovah Monah

• *someone says something* “what?” *repeats themselves* “sorry?” *repeats themselves again* “pardon?”

•"hey, y'see the red thing at the top of the shelf, will you get it?“ “Sorry, what?” “On the sh-” “oh yeah sure, I’ll get it.”

•*doesn’t hear teacher because someone’s pen is making a scratchy sound at the back of the room*

•*replays video 10 ten times to figure out what they’re saying*

•teachers asking, “why do you always stop writing in the middle of a sentence, just write down whatever I’m saying,” followed by the response, “I’m just processing it,” rebuked by, “we’ll stop processing it and just write.”

wanting to chime in on other people’s conversations all the time, but don’t, because you’re not suppose to be “listening” to them.

being the only person in the house that can hear that awful buzzing sound certain electronics make

hiding in your room because everything is too loud. 

motorcycles were invented by satan

being told that you have dog-like hearing by friends and family

Forgetting how to think because ambient noise is drowning out your internal monologue. 

“No, I don’t need the volume up, I’d just really like to put on subtitles. No, I don’t need to move closer, I just…”

Leaving the room whenever someone starts talking on the phone. 

Pausing your video whenever someone starts talking but trying really really hard not to seem passive aggressive about it. 

not being able to handle the little keyboard sounds as your mom types a text from across the room, but when you ask your mom (who is a quadruple texter) to put her phone on silent you get a murderous look, like you’ve asked her to kill her cat.

turning on ambient noises and trying to relax, only to end up turning it off because it’s not actually helping you fall asleep.

“the speakers are making this high pitched noise”

“what the hell are you talking about?”

“THE SPEAKERS ARE PRACTICALLY SCREAMING HOW DO YOU NOT HEAR THAT??”

Someone please explain wtf with wrong with all the animal faces in the Mowgli thing on Netflix?  Trying to put human features on them makes it SUPER uncanny fucking valley and nightmare fuel.  

THIS IS NOT HOW YOU CAT THIS IS

3 women wore this ‘smart dress’ to a club to record how many times they were touched without their consent. The grand total: 157 touches.

P!nk

Anne Frank

Megan Fox

Billie Joe Armstrong

Snooki

Drew Barrymore

Angelina Jolie

Azealia Banks

Kesha

Fergie

Lady Gaga

Madonna

Clive Davis

Anna Paquin

Bai Ling

Carrie Brownstein

Evan Rachel Wood

Amber Heard

Frenchie Davis

Vanessa Carlton

Jillian Michaels

Freddie Mercury (debatable, but considering he had had a long-term relationship with Mary Austin and he tended to keep quiet on matters of his private life, we’ll never know for sure)

Nicki Minaj

Mel B

Pete Wentz

Socrates

Louis XIII

Eleanor Roosevelt 

Jason Mraz

Linsday Lohan

Frida Kahlo

Billie Holiday

Paris Hilton

Salvador Dali

Kurt Cobain

Cher