Tales From The Dork Side

Ah, but that’s just the backstory that notorious communist Charles Dickens wanted us to know! This bold reimagining will feature a hot young Ebenezer “Eb” Scrooge (played by Johnny Depp, who is definitely not in his sixties), and focus on his origins as a feisty and witty capitalist wunderkind. Cheer on our brave underdog as he gets addicted to multiple hard substances, physically and emotionally abuses his fiancé Belle, and then permanently destroys her career and reputation by playing the victim in a public farce of a court trial! The brilliant minds at Paramount have done it again, folks: pure box office gold, spun out of only the finest of horseshits!

Ew.

A FACT OF SCIENCE

"Why is this urchin not working in the mines, harvesting rare metals to construct Doom Bots to use against Accursed Richards????"

Is the next panel just that kid turned into a pile of charred flesh?

Strong possibility O_O;

That kid is Franklin Richards, part time demi-god and full time moppet. Doom is many things, but is not an idiot, and pissing off a nigh-omnipotent five year old (Who he realises has been five years old for a very, VERY long time) is rarely a good idea.