Your Friendly Local Cryptid

the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.

sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.

evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.

sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.

evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.

errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.

grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.

#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.

schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.

amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.

Life of Luxury (horrifying entities)

Woodlands National Park (what rangers really protect us from)

Prehistoric Emergence (dinosaurs)

Vita Carnis (terrifying flesh entities)

Winterland (the more horrifying fnaf)

Winter of '83 (winter is danherous)

The monument mythos (alternate history)

Oakburn Opus (very heavy)

Arcadia (another world collided)

The Man in the Suit (godzilla horror)

Midwest Angelica (alienish chaos)

The Tangi Virus (governmental fumbles)

White stag education (woods r dangerous)

Gemini Home Entertainment (various and entities)

Liminal Land (Evil themepark)

Greylock (unearthed disease)

Red Wood (where did a whole town go)

Pontiac Robotics (dfv with robot)

Obelisk (very freaky entities enter at own risk)

Vromia (murders but supernatural)

Ted the Caver (ancient creepypasta brought to life really well)

The Glendale Archives (the apocalypse and the humanity left over)

The Mannequin Tapes (guess)

The Moon Woke Up (fun cosmic horror, friend)

Probably others i have forgotten or not yet watched.

If you like mustery or horror or scifi or dinosaurs, its all there

wah!! it's my birthday!!!! and it was around this exact time last year that my lovely gf pixel was officially dragging me into ff14 lmao! so why not celebrate both??