Nowhere

So I watched it.

And I know about The CircumstancesTM. The allegations, the possible cancellation, etc.

The fact that we got this 90 min movie is a miracle on itself, and we could've just ended up in a forever unsolved cliffhanger (not unlike what happened with poor American Gods).

But man I cannot help but feel disappointed. Not by the ending - or at least not just by the ending.

Amongst it all, you can see all the potential. And that is perhaps the source of the disappointment.

What could've been.

The murders and the Book of Life, Jesus getting lost and reconnecting with humanity, Aza and Crowley's reconciliation. You can see how it could've been more, a longer story, had time and resources been available.

But instead we just get a murder mystery that is blatantly obvious form the moment Michael assigns Muriel to investigate. Her motivations are largely still undeveloped, even if S2 made her ambitious to higher stations, also coming off as an exceedingly shallow motivation.

The Jesus subplot is actually quite charming and enjoyable, but due pacing and constraints it is entirely pointless. You could cut it out and the only meaningful thing that would change is Aza's reason to go back to Earth (and to Crowley). And the scene of his death, were all the people he had reached out just go about vanishing as if it were just a mild inconvenience has absolutely no emotional impact at all.

God and Satan being there at the end of the universe also hinted at something more that was probably cut, and their banter and relationship leaves to be desired. Also quite disappointing is how at the end the writers walk back what they had laid out on S1 (and kinda S2) on how, for all His(Her?) Grand Ineffable Plan, free will was in fact a thing that God allowed the universe to have. Now God has it all planned out, and has the last word on everything that happens.

The ending is quite divisive, as I have already seen, and while I appreciate the concept of two souls so devoted and in love to each other that they would find themselves even in a universe in which they weren't even meant to exist, the fact that the price is, quite literally, Everything that ever was, is and would've been... Is it worth it? Is it them? Or is it just something that, like the quote I pretend to be the title of this opinion piece, it just looks but isn't really like them?

I don't want to end up in a wholly negative note, there were good things. The humor, as always, is top notch. From Muriel figuring out who the killer is by virtue of realizing that she was an incompetent investigator (and true to form, almost everyone else had already figured it out), that plays in the middle of that lunch scene rife hilarious characters overacting their grievances towards the duo.

Aza choosing fucking crosswords as a challenge.

The gold medal is however, for the Aziraphale's infiltration of Hell. You just know how much fun Michael Sheen was having with it all. Probably the highlight of the episode.