*something witty*

I cannot express how much I have riding on Greta Gerwig’s Barbie (2023) like y’all don’t understand I want it to be phenomenal I want it to be groundbreaking I want it to break box office records I want it to make film bros angry beyond comprehension I want it to overwrite my brain chemistry I want to see camp and trash and elegance and sublimity I want Ryan Gosling to win an Oscar I want Greta Gerwig to haunt my dreams like the ghost of Barbie Past, Present, and Future

i had a dream that a prehistoric bird ate a family member whole and i got banned on tumblr for posting a video of me shooting it to death

booty shorts that say “PEOPLE LIKE CERTAINTY MORE THAN THEY LIKE HOPE; THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT PESSIMISM IS WISE” on the ass

I see it a lot in my students that the ONLY mode they can engage with literature on is one in which they either say it's good because it's "relatable" or it's bad because they "can't relate to it" as well, and I feel like this is a symptom of the same problem. An unwillingness to engage with fiction outside of its ability to be a mirror to your specific worldview and set of morals. But art doesn't exist to give you moral purity badges--it's a mode of expression that produces conversations between artists and readers. And to engage in those converesations on an adult level you need to learn to process the discomfort of flawed human realities productively.

wish we had more internal organ emojis

A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday It would be funny if this joke had a punchline Wooden tit 

official boob post

The first time I went out with my girlfriend we went to the park, and while she was going to the bathroom I climbed a tree thinking "When she gets back and sees how whimsical and strong I am she'll fall in love with me!" and I didn't admit to her that's why I did it until last night and she confessed that she thought about it on her bike ride home and was all "Wow fawn is so spontaneous and fun!" and I just really love when queer love makes you act like an idiot middle schooler. Literal playground behavior. And it works and its cute and its fun.

Extracting from the original tags: this is an 8 minute exposure — it was indeed pitch black