Jacob: You’re a fart shaped like a dude but if I punched you hard enough you’d dissolve into methane then I’d liquefy it and freeze it and crush it into powder and do key bumps of your dumb fart self.
wait
wrong copy paste
me: lol
lol
Jacob: http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/doctersafety/novels/the-fart-docter
i'm writing a nanowrimo
me: yesss
7:02 PM
Jacob: that's bizarre gibberish abt junot diaz
intercut with rants about internet culture
and instructions on how to poop
me: LOL
7:03 PM
Jacob: "JUNOT DIAZ! wants to know: how can you be a rad dad with cool ass swag if your cool ass rad dad swag keeps swagging out of your cool rad dad ass? Where does the plug go? The butt kind or the toilet kind the toilet is the shower. A toilet is opposite of the shower because toilet is poop and shower is unpoop and if you shit on yourself you will get it off of you in the shower via water pressure and soap because that is how showers work Junot Diaz"
i'm kind of proud of this paragraph
7:04 PM
and by kind of i mean
really proud
7:05 PM
i also want it to be left to speculation whether the narrator actually is junot diaz
at 666 words rn btw
me: hahaha
14 minutes
7:20 PM
Jacob: You need to create an account to write a book. That’s the law. A verification email containing your activation code has been sent to the address you provided. Do not attempt to subvert this system. If the email does not appear after five minutes, check your spam folder or take Nabokov’s cumshot to the chin while waiting for it to arrive. You know what I’m going to do, fuckos? I’ll handwrite you a letter containing your eight-digit activation code to read this, then deliver it via airmail, and have you copy it down and send it back to me but your dumb ass won’t even realize that 55378008 upside down is BOOBLESS and haha you must be so embarrassed right now dick especially when you realize that you had no desire to read my shitty book in the first place and who am I again? I’M JUNOT DIAZ haha you fucks.
i'm so proud of this book
7:21 PM
me: that is v good
7:22 PM
Jacob: thx
ugh i can already tell this is going to turn into one of those things that i start doing as a joke but then start taking weirdly seriously.
7:23 PM
me: hahaha
yeah i mean it seems like you already are
7:24 PM
Jacob: ehh not really i know i'm not saying anything new/different
just being super obnoxious about it
me: lol
7:25 PM
Jacob: i bet that's how tao lin got started though
lol i'm going to write this shitty thing as a joke oh wait i just got paid for it oops
me: it's ok you're already better than tao lin
7:26 PM
Jacob: hahaha
thx
7:27 PM
i mean there is a paragraph that's the word "junot" repeated 300 times
not even tao lin is that shameless
but w/e
i'll probably end up giving up on this within 24 hours
