"Kill your darlings" means "if something is holding you back, get rid of it, even if it sounds pretty."
That's it! That's all it means! It means if you're stuck and stalled out on your story and you could fix the whole block by removing something but you're avoiding removing that thing because it's good, you remove that thing. That's the darling.
It does NOT mean
That you have to get rid of your self-indulgent writing
That you should delete something just because you like it (?wtf?)
That you need to kill off characters (??? what)
That you have to pare your story down to the absolute bare bones
That you have to delete anything whatsoever if you don't want to
The POINT is that you STOP FEELING GUILTY for throwing out good writing that isn't SERVING THE STORY.
The POINT is that you don't get so HUNG UP on the details that you lose sight of the BIG PICTURE.
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[ ID: Two tweets by Jay Hulme @ JayHulmePoet that read as follows,
People go off about transphobes not knowing any better because they're 'old' and today my 90 year old Grandad gifted me one of his fancy suit jackets, complimented my terrible beard, and continued his extremely wholesome habit of calling me "sonny me lad".
So. Yeah.
I spent years terrified of coming out to him because he was in his 80's at the time so I wrote him a letter like "I'm a man, Gramps" and he was so proud he showed the letter to his neighbors and phoned me and opened with "So how's my Grandson?" and has never got a pronoun wrong.
I was kicked out of my home by my abusive parents shortly after I turned 18. Out of my parents, the most actively antagonistic was my mother, who refused to even acknowledge that I was trans. A year after I was kicked out, I moved across the country nearer to the area where my mother's extended family was. A few days after I arrived, I received the news that my grandmother, my mother's mother, had passed. Too worried about addressing the issue to my relatives in their grief, I stayed away.
Eventually I worked up the nerve to visit them, mainly to see and console my grandfather, but also because I couldn't bear the thought of losing all of my family because of who I was. I hadn't intended to come out, but when my grandfather asked me about the rift between my parents and me I ended up sitting down and crying as I came out to my grandfather, my great aunt and two of my second cousins.
My grandfather is definitely very neurodivergent and didn't seem to entirely grasp the concept of me being transgender, but he still told me encouragingly that it was not his job to tell me what I should do with my body, and that he was proud of me. My cousins both held me and told me they thought I was brave and would support me no matter what.
But I will never forget what my 92 year old, very southern, very religious great aunt said to me that day. She took my hand and called me by name, as I wept, before she leaned over to me knowledgeably and went, "There were some people I knew as a girl who were- they were born girls, but in their hearts they were really boys. And you could tell from the way they moved and acted… but their families wanted them to be girls. But I have always known people like you, and they were made that way because God wanted them to be that way and be true to themselves.
"I have loved you since the moment I saw you and I will still love you! You are becoming who you are, and that's good, because God made you that way! You are happy and I am happy! I am glad to have a nephew! I love you!"
Anyone who says older people get a pass to be transphobic just because they're old is full of shit.
Sooooo I've read this fic and got inspired with Tobirama teleporting in omegaverse dimension
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Except for Tobirama keeping his original gender and being completely immune and oblivious to all omegaverse social signals....
Btw Tobi from omegaverse world is okay and lives his best life in og!world without annoying pheromones and social expectations. It was probably his fault og!Tobirama changed places with him btw
Alpha!Madara bullied Omega!Tobirama using the power of his pheromones to force tobi into submission every time tobes annoyed him at work
But now with og!Tobirama Mads confused by his odorless scent and freaked out because his pheromones don't affect him anymore. Dark times have come to the Uchihas.... New Tobirama won't give them a single concession at the meetings, Madara will have to learn how to work with a person who doesn't give a shit abt his alpha superiority
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
T | 1.430 | Chapter 1 of 4 | Pre-Uchiha Madara/Senju Tobirama
Tags: A/B/O; Dimension Travel; Unreliable Narrator; Cultural Differences; Misunderstandings
Tobirama had never heard of this so-called omega ward, but since Konoha's hospital was Hashirama's pet project, that wasn't entirely surprising. A dedicated ward for long-term care seemed rather sensible, to be honest.
Still. Pillow forts? Ridiculous.
And probably exactly in line with what Hashirama envisioned when he created this ward behind Tobirama's back.
hello hollanov nation, i am opening my store (bluegiragistore.com) on Jan 20th 8:00 AM AEST and will be selling heated rivalry merch!!! This includes a bookend diorama standee + a keychain/lanyard combo that'll both be up for pre-order (as I'm unsure how to gauge current demand). The store will remain open until Jan 27th 5PM AEST, after which the purchasing period will finish and ill lock the store down.
Prices are as follows (all in USD):
HOLLANOV BOOKENDS: $33 each
HOLLANOV KEYCHAIN (WITH LANYARD): $18
A5 PRINTS: $10 each (1 free print for every $65USD spent)
extra | team 141 character introductions
extra | konig + horangi character introductions
extra | las almas crew + graves character introduction
part ? | price/gaz rooftop talks
part 1 | bag of tricks
part 2 | ghost/soap muzzle
part 3 | price+ghost check in
part 4 | ghost + soap + gaz in action (part 1)
part 5 | ghost + soap + gaz in action (part 2)
part 6 | ghost + soap + gaz in action (part 3)
part 7 | sketchdump 1
part 8 | ghost/soap chasing tail
part 9 | soap/fantasy!ghost (full vers on patreon)
part 10 | ghost/soap docile
part 11 | ghost/price due diligence
part 11.5 | ghost/soap due diligence (nsfw - only available on patreon)
part 12 | ghost/price holding back pt 1
part 13 | ghost/price holding back pt 2
part 14 | soap/gaz doing things blind (only available on patreon)
part 15 | konig/horangi clear
part 16 | sketchdump 2
part 17 | debrief
part 18 | ghost/soap work it out (part 1)
part 19 | ghost/soap work it out (part 2)
part 20 | cockatrice (part 1)
part 21 | cockatrice (part 2)
part 22 | sketchdump 3/puppy playtime
part 23 | new moon (part 1)
part 24 | new moon (part 2)
part 25 | new moon (part 3)
part 26 | open book
part 27 | face to a name
part 28 | before
part 29 | that’s an order
part 30 | diplomacy
part 31 | mr riley
part 32 | human
part 33 | wraith
part 34 | sitting ducks
part 35 | negotiations
part 36 | monster
part 37 | bloodsucker
part 38 | the lieutenant's arrived
part 39 | he keeps his promises
part 40 | i'm sorry john.
part 41 | mutt
part 42 | limitations part 1
part 43 | limitations part 2
part 44 | limitations part 3
part 45 | hoard (nsfw, only on patreon)
part 46 | hoard part 2 (full comic on patreon)
part 47 | mask off
part 48 | aware part 1
part 49 | aware part 2
part 50 | reward (part 1) (suggestive)
part 51 | reward (part 2) (nsfw - full comic only available on patreon)
part 52 | reward (part 3) (nsfw - full comic only available on patreon)
part 53 | catchup
part 54 | brief
part 55 | group huddle
part 56 | quid pro quo
part 57 | wing thing
part 58 | generous
part 59 | learning moment (part 1)
part 60 | learning moment (part 2)
part 61 | shy
part 62 | the viper and the vampire
part 63 | easy pickings
part 64 | bogey
part 65 | trapdoor
part 66 | birdie
part 67 | detonate
part 68 | priorities
part 69 | blindspot
part 70 | blindspot (part 2)
part 71 | hold on
part 72 | hold on (part 2) (only available on patreon or bluesky)
part 73 | everything (part 1)
part 74 | everything (part 2)
part 75 | everything (part 3)
part 76 | classic
part 77 | test subject
part 78 | recoup
part 79 | recoup (part 2)
part 80 | grievances
part 81 | smokebreak
part 82 | refocus part 1
part 83 | refocus part 2
part 84 | ready or not
part 85 | look alive
part 86 | messy
part 87 | risky play
part 88 | new tricks
part 89 | split
part 90 | haze
part 91 | walk it off
part 92 | work with me
part 93 | child's play
part 94 | cartwheel display
part 95 | eyes on the prize
part 96 | bloodsport
tpart 97 | the black wolf
part 98 | sucker
part 99 | one for one
part 100 | interlude
part 101 | consolation
part 102 | day one
post finale FAQ
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information about the physical + digital release of the monster AU below the cut!!
(Bear with me, I'm about to be very sappy. If you're not interested in reading all this, skip to the bottom - relevant information about the physical and digital release, as well as schedule plans going forward will be in big text and blue. )
I discovered COD (more specifically GhostSoap as a ship) in the tail end of 2022, like a lot of people when the "Alone" mission and its insane, sexually-charged banter went viral on Tiktok. I indulged the interest, thinking it was a passing fixation that I'd be done with within a week or two. And now 3 years later, I've finished the biggest fan-project I've ever undertaken for this fandom that has given me so much.
While the first comic of the Monster AU went up in August of 2023, the first character profiles were posted even earlier than that in March. Besides the Soapbox Saga, which consumed the first few months of my fixation, the Monster AU has been going on for almost my entire time in the COD fandom. While starting out as a fun, gimmicky sandbox for me and others to play around in, it quickly took on a life of its own and spiralled into a behemoth of a story (even without the Korangi section that I quickly realised I didn't have the scope for). Being able to serve up new comics for this project on a (semi) regular basis has genuinely been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I'm not exaggerating at all when I say that the audience here and on all my other social media, the comments and the likes and the notes left in QRTs and reblogs kept me going long after I thought I'd be burnt out. Whether you've just joined this space, or you've been here the entire journey, I honestly can't thank you enough.
In a time where AI threatens to cheapen the industry and craft I've dedicated my life to, I am so so privileged to have been given the resources, patience and engagement that you all have allowed me. It means a lot to me to have this project under my belt; as someone who has issues with staying committed to one idea for long, the idea of being dedicated to one idea for multiple years to see it to fruition has been a pipe dream. It means something so important to me that I was able to do this, and the sheer fact of the matter is that it would've been impossible without your support.
I owe so much to this fandom and to this project that has accompanied me through the past few years as a comforting ever-present project to gradually chip away at. There have been some genuinely difficult moments that I was able to get through by holding onto this project and my posting schedule as something to keep me afloat. I truly hope from the bottom of my heart that it managed to reach expectations. And if not, I deeply apologise, and I'm still grateful for the opportunity to have given it my best shot.
While the main story of the Monster AU is finished, there's unfortunately still a lot of work that has to be done before it'll be ready for purchase. Book covers, extra illustrations, internal formatting, an actual coherent write-up of all the lore, actual diagrams for how these damn monsters put on their clothes around their wings and tails...maybe even an extra exclusive comic? All that before it's even compiled!
Because of that, the physical copy of the Monster AU will likely only be available for pre-order in mid-late January of 2026 (you'll be able to purchase the digital copy in the same store-opening).
If nothing goes wrong with my chosen manufacturer, the physical copy of the Monster AU set (it'll be split into 2 volumes but sold together as one package) will be $110 AUD which translates into $72 USD. The digital copy of the Monster AU will be a pdf priced at $50 AUD, which is $33 USD.
Once again, thank you all for your patience with me. I'm truly so grateful, and I'm really looking forward to making this Monster AU into the best product it can be <3
Hi there! As the Monster AU has finally concluded, I thought I'd put this handy FAQ together to hopefully answer any burning questions. A lot of these came from my patreon, in which I hosted an AMA after the finale so credit to my wonderful patrons for the miscellaneous character questions!
---
Burning Questions:
1. Will the Monster AU still be available for free online on your social media in post format?
Yes, of course! Purchasing a physical or digital copy is just a matter of personal preference, not really necessary to still access the story.
2. What's the price of the Monster AU physical/digital copy and when will it come out?
The physical copy will be $110 AUD for the set (aka $72 USD) while the digital copy will bu $50 AUD (aka $33 USD). As the final page count for the monster au will be over 800 pages, hopefully that's a reasonable price. These books will be made available on my store in mid-late January 2026, with the physical book being available for pre-order and the digital file for purchase.
3. Will there be worldwide shipping?
I'll be working with a US-based third-party distributor from now onwards for my store, so unless something significant changes, yes.
4. Will there be a SFW version available?
Unfortunately, a lot of the NSFW sections of the Monster AU are plot relevant, and so the story wouldn't made sense without them included. All NSFW sections of the story in the compiled version will have a marker that indicates its NSFW though, if you'd like to handily skip it.
5 Is this the end of the Monster AU?
While I can't say that I'll never draw something offhand for this AU again, I have no plans to make a season 2 for the Monster AU and I'm very satisfied with leaving it here as an open ending.
6. Are you done with COD in general?
No, but I do want to take a small break from COD and diversify my interests a bit. I've been drawing almost exclusively COD for 3 years now, and I'd love to do more miscellaneous fanart and explore OCs. Currently, the winning fixation is Heated Rivalry, which I'm having a lot of fun with.
7. What monster hybrid would [insert character] be in the AU?
If I haven't already assigned a character a monster, I have no interest or desire to. Feel free to come up with your own designations :)
8. Can I expand on this AU with proper credit to you?
Yes, of course!
9. What inspired you to make this AU specifically?
It started out of a gimmicky desire to make Good Boy Soap into an actual dog, spiralled into something a lot bigger very fast.
Miscellaneous Character Questions:
1. How did Gaz react after Soap told him what he and Ghost did in the shed-thing when Gaz was captured?
He was affronted, incredulous and briefly impressed all in that order. He's not too bothered by it in sincerity since they did it not knowing the state he was in - nowadays he just likes having it in the backpocket to throw in their face if they're annoying him.
2. Given that Simon and Price are ever the analyst; What do you personally think they would commit themselves to the most, now post mission? Would they be selfish and take a personal path and focus on their emotional/mental/physical recovery- more specifically with their partners? Or would that sense of duty override their need to rest, and poor Johnny and Kyle would still find their men awake past lights out going over what scraps of intel they found to try and stop Valeria/Makarov for good?
After surviving what they did (and soap getting them a win by taking care of Graves), both Price and Simon are very happy to take it easy for a while. The latter is actually forced into relaxation, as not using his powers for a prolonged amount of time is the only way for his wispiness to abate and get him back down to normal levels. Soap and Gaz would honestly be more driven into maintaining contact with Los Vaqueros to keep hot on Valeria's tail.
3. With your interpretation of price being a dragon and all is his hoard only people or did he have a different kind before he found his team?
Before Ghost, Price's previous hoards were all minor, brief fixations. He collected vinyls for a while, and specialty shot glasses. As a child, he liked to collect rocks and specialty matchbox designs.
4. The hybrids that can fly in the Monster AU, do they need some kind of permission to fly anywhere? For example, could Gaz freely fly around a city just because he wants to?
There are zones where winged folk in the monster au are allowed to freely fly and zones where it's illegal. It can be overly restrictive, so there are specialty regions that have predominantly winged populations.
5. Would Gaz carry any kind if guilt/shame about being captured even though he logically knows it wasn’t his fault?
Yes. He's naturally really proud of his independence as a harpy and feels like he'll need to make up for his lapse in behaviour, even though it absolutely wasn't his fault.
6. What was going to be König and Horangi's part in the story originally?
I'll be including the original plan for the Korangi storyline in the compiled version. It's just a bit long to put in a comment.
7. Why does Konig need a handler?
In his monster form, Konig is a rampaging mindless beast. He needs a handler to sedate him and bring him back to his human form or else he's impossible to control.
8. I always wondered what actually happens to soap when his tail gets grabbed?
It's a sharp jolt of pleasure that shoots up his spine.
9. As we saw in the last few comics featuring Valeria, Makarov is involved. My question is, since your AU has taken a different path with the timeline/series of events than the games, does Makarov have the same goals as canon Makarov? I know he might have been name-dropped as an Easter Egg, but if you would further the story, what would Makarov be building this blood-gorging experimentation up to?
Monster AU Makarov is still a mercurial force. It's clear that he was the "vampire friend" Roba was talking about in the flashback with Simon, but his intentions aren't obvious. Overall, he's trying to de-stabilise human-monster relations globally while also making a profit off of distributing what's basically a monster steroid.
10. Since Graves ended up surviving Cod MW2 (by not being in the tank) did Graves survive the attack from Soap in this au?
Nope. Got his head bitten off. He's very dead.
11. What happened at the end when Ghost gave Soap part of his shadow? Is it safe for Soap or was he affected by it more than we've seen?
It's safe for Soap. In the same way Ghost can control his shadows to stab through someone, he can also control them to cover someone of his choice. This was his first time doing it, so it was a hell of a gamble, but he was also getting really close to overloading, so he needed to disperse his shadows and alleviate the sole pressure on him anyways. He essentially just put a big bullet proof vest of shadows over Soap's wolf.
12. On a scale of one to "this boy needs more meat on his bones" how likely are Soaps family members to take a liking to Ghost?
Most of Soap's family takes a strong liking to Ghost and his spooky messy business. Soap's grandmother is especially superstitious and hangs onto the old ways a lot - she'd genuinely be really terrified of him at first but grow to enjoy his company (he's quiet, big and strong and treats her grandson gently, so it's an easy thing to warm up to him). Soap's sisters find him entertaining, although his younger one warns Ghost about never breaking his heart or else.
13. Do you think that Price & Soap have a unique relationship because they are the only ones with the 'pack' instinct? or do they both manage it in different ways?
They definitely have more of a shared understanding of each other because of it. It's still pretty different though - dragons actually don't like to travel in big numbers of other dragons, so a hoard is definitely different to a werewolf pack, which is exactly that. I think Soap and Price are able to understand their mutual possessiveness, but everyone in the 141 is kind of a freak about each other, so it's not especially unique.
14. Did Price struggle at all mentally with 141 all essentially needing to be on bedrest? I imagine with his hoard instincts it'd be pretty rough for him to see them all like that.
Nah , his hoard instincts love that. All of his hoard in a convenient place under his control where he knows where all of them are and what they're doing? It sucks that they're all recovering in some way, but his internal hoard instinct is veeeryy satisfied at how easy it's gonna be to cater to their needs.
15. What was your favorite part of the whole story?
Soap getting shot and Ghost patching him up in the shed.
16. Reflecting back on the monster AU, if you could go back, is there any designs or monster types you would like to change? Or, if you had to pick different monsters for the 141, what would you choose?
I don't think I'd change any of the monsters. If there's one thing I could easily change, it would be making the drugged blood vials a different colour or doing something fancy to denote it had been tampered with. I feel like all blood being the same shade of red made it difficult to discern when someone was getting drugged or not.
17. This might have been already established and I just forgot, Alejandro and Rodolfo already together at the start of the comic? What do they get up to when they return from the mission with 141?
Alejandro and Rudy have been in a committed relationship with each other for over 2 years when they're first introduced in the story.
And after they return from the mission with the 141 they have hot sex in their bed.
18. What info about wolves did you not end up including in the comic? Anything about Soap, I loved how you portrayed him in his wolf form.
He met a dire-werewolf when he was a young pup on a family camping trip. Nothing happened, they just looked at each other and the dire-werewolf walked away, but it was a significant moment in his life.
19. Do you have a reference of how Ghost's voice sounds when it changes?
Ghost's voice gains a kind of guttural, reverb quality. Lots of bass.
20. Which Monster gave you the most struggle to put together? Which one surprised you the most?
Valeria honestly, because I was trying to find a monster from Mexican culture that matched her vibe but couldn't settle on something that felt like a good match. Settled on Gorgon because of ppl in canon not knowing what El Sin Nombre looked like and a gorgon's tendency to petrify anyone who looked them in the eye. Was genuinely surprised that her skillset ended up being so perfect for the story I wanted to tell.
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let me just say, a lot of people talk about how shitty modern manufacturing is specifically in clothing, and how things are made to basically fall apart in five years or so. but i don't think you can really grasp the full meaning of it until you are trying to mend a world war 2 era flight suit and that bitch, despite its 80 years of literal war action and various other lives, is still going to fight the fuck out of you while you try to replace its zipper. like no baby i am not going to hurt you i promise i JUST want to mend you. i know you're soooo strong and amazing and resilient. please let go of the zipper i am not your enemy. stop breaking my sewing needle for christs sake