it's a bitch, ain't it

Dead wife montage but it's all slow motion shots of your dead wife throwing grenades and doing backflips and oneshotting the enemy with their long range weapons

hold on let me try to invent a version of myself who can get us out of this mess [holds really still for a minute and a half and then turns to you with a flat affect] we probably should have killed ourselves an hour ago

In my joyful dreams I never frown. Smilent Hill

a severe thursday warning is in effect. take shelter now.

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

has anyone noticed that sometimes you take incorrect or undesirable actions instead of the correct and desirable ones? what's up with that

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

weather authorities reportedly issuing a severe "wednesday alert" for tomorrow

New bruno mars song called I'll kill you