dizz + jizz @dizzy-jizzy - Tumblr Blog

They just don’t release the hounds like they used to

in my day someone just let the dogs out. never did know who.

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homunculus-argument

"But won't children be confused by all the LGBT-"

Yesterday I saw a mother with a baby carriage, being followed by a girl of about 4-6 years old on a bicycle. The kid started ringing her bike bell like RING RING RING RING RING RING RING, and the mother turned to look behind them to see whether they were being followed by a cyclist who desperately needs to pass them for the sake of everyone's safety.

And the little girl - who just rang the goddamn bell herself 5 seconds ago - also turned to look.

Kids are confused by everything at all times. They don't know jack shit. About anything.

jumpingjacktrash

i remember being like 8 or 9 and being told that my dad’s ex-wife was no longer diane and we were to address her as daniel now. my reaction: “ok.”

me and my brother later had a small discussion about whether that could happen randomly (conclusion: no, he probably had to file papers or something) and whether daniel should now be referred to as dad’s ex-husband (conclusion: yes but only to see the face he’ll make) but at no point did we find it like... alarming? the world is big and weird. we were used to it.

finding out a sorta-relative could just change genders off camera, as it were, was a whole lot less head-splodey than finding out there were no squirrels in australia!

scattered-to-the-winds

There’s no what

ashfae

"Won't they be confused by all the--" So what if they are? Life is often confusing. That's part of how we learn. Part of the job of an adult is to help confused kids learn and understand things. There's no obligation to protect the kids from the confusing things. Quite the reverse.

In my experience anyone using this BS excuse isn't worried about a child's potential confusion, but their own, which they don't want to admit to having.

indieninja92

theres no squirrels in australia???

marleythegoldfish

Aussie here, I DIDN'T KNOW SQUIRRELS WERE ACTUALLY REAL FOR THE FIRST EIGHT YEARS OF MY LIFE NO JOKE I THOUGHT THEY WERE A MYTHICAL ANIMAL LIKE UNICORNS

alostpan

WHAT??

gods-weakest-girltwink

went to cracker barrel with my girlfriend this morning to get breakfast, and they absolutely clocked us as lesbians, cuz they assigned the most lesbian server in the house to our table. the whole time, she was calling the both of us "babe" and "love", when we ordered the biscuits she asked if we liked corn muffins too and said she'd bring us some, and after we got the check and were about to leave she looked me dead in the eye and said "you're real pretty," stunlocked me for like five seconds before i could respond. when we finally got to the car after paying, we checked the receipt and she hadnt charged us for the corn muffins OR FOR THE BISCUITS!!!

cracker barrel was the last place either of us were expecting to get lesbian flirted with, were getting so many gay encounters these past two days

feel-like-expl0sions

chasing cars by snow patrol really hits harder everytime i listen to it like,, what if i DID just lay here???? would u lie with me and just forget the world??????? please???????????

batmanisagatewaydrug

always some new bullshit in the ocean

local-demon-in-your-area

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

batmanisagatewaydrug

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

andietries

Would you look at that, a mix of the Wikipedia article i read just two days ago

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babbyygirrrl

I don't know who needs to hear this but... start living. The days are flying by and all you do is work, pay bills, and stress. Enjoy what you can like walks, sunsets, music, laughter. Joy doesn't have to be expensive. You deserve it.

buqbite

sometimes i feel ive got to

‎

‎

run away

Bittern at the grocery store

sparkly-heretic

A very elegant crime.

(edit: my partner just pointed out that maybe the bittern is going to pay, and that's a good point)

bob-artist

Don't worry, his disguise was flawless and he got away with his snack :)

boyblvntzz

it’s summer bro can some faggot activity occur

unconventiononthelawofthesea

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

akindlyowl

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

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fallingtowers

moderation in all things except sex and intoxicants and shirking your responsibilities and profaning the name of god

darkcomedies

evoking bertholt brecht’s “the way people cast a play!” quote as a spell against prescriptive, stereotypical, fatalistic typecasting

darkcomedies

idk what to tell you except go look at the fishwives

hornpoint

When U Ask The Cashier To Break a Twenty

And

He

Fucksyou....

mangled-by-disuse

in happier pride news i actually found this deeply heartwarming

that's solidarity baybeeee

localcraigslist

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iloveuppers-deactivated20251030

everyday of my life is like saw 2004

dreamgirl-spilled

"gossip girl or gilmore girls" DERRY GIRLS DERRY GIRLS DERRY GIRLS!!!!

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