MK

Delicacy is one of the most desired traits in a Club Girl. Delicacy, femininity, classiness, healthiness, and elegance are the five most important things that clubs want in their exec level girls. The Eastern European and Russian girls that work on the exec levels at the different clubs I know all have ballet backgrounds, they all wear makeup and look a certain way, they're all very precise and have control over their lives, they all dress properly, they speak with soft and gentle voices, and they end up marrying rich. I've spent my entire club career emulating them. I'll refer to them as She because they're so lovely and refined that they're an entirely different class of girl that I've completely idealized.

Delicacy.

She has a strict gym routine and she takes care of her body. She works out, she constantly takes barre and ballet classes, she listens to classical music, she stands with ballet arms, she has perfect posture, she is thin but healthy and was healthy about the way that she became thin, she is mentally strong and in therapy, and she presents herself as a delicate gift wrapped in chiffon and tied with ribbons but she is strong, she knows how to survive heartbreak and rejection easily and she knows how to keep going.

She is not weak and she is never a damsel in distress. She knows that if the man she's giving her time will not give her the thing that she wants, she can easily find another man who will worship and kiss the very ground she walks upon. She presents herself as someone who can and should be cherished and cared but she's capable of doing that for herself because she knows she deserves love and nothing is more satisfying that loving herself. She probably drinks and does coke occasionally but she considers it self care and, babe, it's organic and girls need fun.

Femininity.

She has long flowing hair, she knows how to do her makeup with a soft but firm hand, she knows how to apply first her lip liner, then her lipstick, and then her lip gloss, she knows how to handle her liquid eyeliner to make a fake birthmark, she knows how to add soft shimmer to her eyelids to show her youth, she knows to always have a soft color on her nails, she knows that long lashes and wide open eyes always do the trick, and she knows how to apply just enough blush to add to her alluring femininity. She is a woman and she knows how to flaunt her beauty to the men who admire her and make them obsessed with a glance.

She speaks with a soft and gentle voice. She shows expression through her eyes at all times and gasps at all of the right moments, she knows how to lean in and pout her lips at the proper time, she knows how to place strands of her hair behind her ear and look up at the man she's with through her eyelashes, she knows how to gently toss her hair behind her shoulders and waft a gentle breeze of her perfume towards the man she's speaking to. She knows that she is the epitome of femininity and she uses all she has to benefit herself and ensure her success. She is charming but calculating, she knows her desires.

Classiness.

She knows how to dress herself and choose jewelry. At the start of her club days, she wore black and fully accepted her role as new and young, now that she's experienced, she prefers soft pinks, pearls, delicate jewelry, and delicate high heels. She is marriage minded and so she dresses in a way that will impress marriage minded men. She sometimes arrives to her club wearing fresh clothes from ballet and sits at the front desk doing her greeting and check ins, standing to kiss every one of her men on his cheek and enquire after how his day at his office was.

She knows how to choose and pour wine expertly, she knows how to dance for him, elongate her neck and glide towards him, how to bring all of her sensuality and sultriness into the smallest of motions and gestures, she knows how to stretch her leg out in front of her and bend forward just enough to show a slip of skin as she serves him a drink, she knows his favorite beverages and meals, and she knows that when he leaves the club, he'll be returning home to his $30 million home and thinking of her all night. She is pure classiness and she knows that he cannot get her out of his head once she's entered it.

Healthiness.

Her skin glows with health and she's hydrated, she stretches and elongates her neck to correct her posture, she stands with her breasts just barely pushed out and her arms at her sides, she walks gently and knows how to show off her body as she walks. She's poised, perfect, beautiful, and self aware, she knows that there's no one like her and so she makes sure that she's at her best everyday before she leaves her house because she would never allow anyone to glimpse her at less than the best. She takes immense pride in her beauty and appearance and strictly maintains them.

She drinks fresh fruit and veggie juices, she sucks on ice cubes, she eats healthily but has a cheat day once in a blue moon, she has a vibrator in her drawer because she's sexually healthy, she does yoga and meditates, listens to subliminals, goes on healthy walks in the fresh air, takes care of her hair, dry brushes and oils her body until it glows, and she keeps herself at peak physical and mental health. She knows that if her health is perfect, she will not fail, only success will hurry towards her.

Elegance.

Diamond earrings, quality makeup, designer purses, whitened teeth, plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures, facials and eyebrow threading, Brazilian waxes, gentle perfume, Brazilian and Dominican blowouts, keratin treatments, acrylic nails with gel nail polish, a fur coat once in a while, fitted and tailored clothes, the ability to glide in heels, and dark hair make up dark she is. She had a blonde phase but realized that the bleach and the box didn't suit her, she prefers to show off the fact that she can easily be a bombshell, she doesn't need to adhere to a standard of beauty that doesn't suit her, she prefers the timeless elegance that she knows does.

She makes animated conversation and lets the men surrounding her know that she knows that she's worth it, she flirts unashamedly and with utter passion, she wears lingerie that she can slip and shimmy out of at the end of the night, she's coy and glamorous, and she's sexual without being overtly sexual, she still holds her dress down as she enters and exits cars. She is the image of what she believes a woman should be and men love and idealize her for that, she knows she's wanted, she knows she's an it girl, and she knows that she will always win because there's no game, she's in it to win it and she has no fucking competition.

XOXO,

We're less than a month away from the New Year, and as such, it is important that we begin to set the foundations and plans we have to not only succeed, but make 2023 a memorable year.

Regardless of how 2022 went for you, regardless of how many goals you were able to achieve, a new year marks a new beginning. Do not beat yourself over how things went, focus on how you can improve them moving forward.

In 2023 we're:

Spending less time being passive scrollers online. The pandemic is over, the world is back in action and so must we. It's time to stop letting our minds be consumed by the opinions of thousands of people on the internet. More often than not, the things we read online come from the psyche of mentally unwell individuals, and given social media's tendency to prompt out the voices of the most unhinged, it gives people that shouldn't have a platform a false sense of authority. In 2023 we're getting off the grid as much as we can and reconnecting with the real world. We will not allow this online façade to swallow us into its void any longer.

Spending more time learning and engaging in high-end activities and hobbies that can elevate our social circle and our taste. Things like polo matches, pilates, ballet, opera, piano classes, poetry, political forums, martial arts, and high-intensity sports, among other things. It is crucial to cultivate a persona that engages in a variety of fulfilling activities that can bring us joy but also help us grow as individuals.

Prioritizing our health and fitness. No more excuses, it's time to cut down on added sugar and refined carbs, time to eat more nutrient-dense whole foods, drink plenty of water daily, invest in vitamin injections every other month, take supplements to improve our body's collagen production, and overcome feelings of laziness by pushing ourselves through fitness goals. 2023 we will make of the gym our sanctuary.

Living below our budget and investing as much as we can. If you haven't already, get a financial advisor, develop long and short-term financial goals and get organized with your income. It doesn't matter if in the past you've felt like your financial habits have not been the most adequate, it's never too late to take control of them and be responsible. We owe to ourselves to spend wisely to have the peace of mind financial security brings. Never go broke trying to impress others.

We're no longer entertaining inadequate men. I must admit I'm guilty of this myself. After years of not dating, getting back into the dating scene has felt extremely disappointing and tiring. Most prospects are simply not up to par with the standards I have and what I want out of my life partner. Sometimes we allow ourselves to become desperate to build these types of romantic relationships that we begin to overlook the things that we really want deep down. In 2023, we're refocusing our attention on living our best lives and being as active as possible in real-life events as touched upon previously, and trust that the right dating prospects will present themselves when we least expect. We attract, we don't chase.

Finally, we're overcoming negative self-talk patterns that hinder our growth. We're investing in therapy, we're unlearning the limiting beliefs that keep us in bondage to people, routines, and views of the world that are not good for us. We have to put an end to the insidious lie of the scarcity mindset, overcome past traumas, and look forward to the good things that are yet to come.

There are many more things I could add to this list, but for now, these are the things I and I know many of you will find helpful on improving on for the year to come. These lists can come out as intimidating to some people, but we have to remember that we are not expected to become the ideal version of ourselves overnight. Growth is a marathon, not a sprint, and it requires consistency. Each day that you wake up and choose to do one or two things differently you're making stride towards that better you. No improvement is ever too little.

Let's make 2023 a memorable year, and every year afterwards.

Daphne.

How to Transform Your Life in 6-Months Using SMART Goals

SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound.

Specific: create a list of things that you would like to do everyday for 6 months. State what you’ll do and use action words. Create a big goal and write down 3 habits you will do everyday to help you achieve that goal (Ex: I want to have visible abs by July - I will exercise every morning, I will eat a salad once a day, and I will drink 2 liters of water everyday). My best tip is to take on one thing at a time. Sometimes we tend to overload ourselves with trying to start too many goals at one time, which can cause us to become overwhelmed and make the goal/habit difficult to achieve and maintain. One week you will start on one goal and the next week you can start on another.

Measureable: find something you will use to show that you are making progress towards the goal or goals that you have. (Ex: I cross out the days on my calendar that I worked out and leave the days that I didn’t blank)

Attainable: make sure all of the goals that you are setting are achievable in the next 6 months. Before working on your goals, make sure you have the tools and resources to achieve it. (Ex: I have a list of my favorite YouTube exercise videos that I can choose from everyday, I have weights, and exercise clothes)

Realistic: be honest with yourself and know your limits or triggers. We are only human, and it’s not easy forming new habits or staying motivated all the time, so do not be too hard on yourself if you skip a day or a week. All that matters is that you keep going, that is when you will see results. Also, make sure that you are being realistic with the deadline, make sure you can achieve these goals in 6 months. For motivation, create a list of why you are trying to achieve this goal in the first place, and read it everytime you feel like quitting. Find a picture or search up someone that inspires you to help keep you motivated. (Ex: I look at my fitness board on Pinterest everytime I feel like I am losing motivation to exercise)

I’m going to share my personal goals for the year (it’ll be out on 27th Dec).

I don’t mind sharing a copy of how I structure my goals, but the only thing is that it might seem a little overwhelming (I’m stepping up my game in January because I can handle that sort of a workload).

I don’t want to make a dedicated post because it’ll be repetitive, so I’ll share with you how I do things and refer to my existing articles.

I want to stress on something. This takes EFFORT. You are ideating, planning and executing a vision of yourself, not noting down a totally random list that you’ve copied off your friends’ resolutions. This will take at least 1-2 hours to do.

1. Make a visual diary.

Make a personal SWOT.

If you have the time and want to make the effort, make your New Story.

Identify your goals based on your SWOT and New Story.

Take pictures from Pinterest in areas that you want to work on. For me these topics are: skin care, social life, hobbies, body, mind and career.

Create a document. The first page should be your SWOT/ New Story or both. New topic on each page (I use Pages) with 3-4 corresponding photos. I’ve shared two of them below.

This is your visual diary:

Note: I keep two types of goals for myself - non-negotiable and add ons. If you are new to working on yourself or you struggle with discipline, I’d recommend you first work on your non-negotiables and then, after a while, create your add-ons.

2. Plan a brief daily structure (Non Negotiables):

How should a typical day look like everyday?

These are my daily goals that I achieve, no matter what. These are my “non-negotiable” goals.

Refer to this.

I meditate for 10 minutes a day. That’s it. I’m working on improving my focus.

I work out for 30-60 minutes everyday. Here is my workout routine.

I want to ensure that I’m not becoming stupid so I play brain games (I play a game of mental math every day on my phone). Hardly takes me 2 minutes and its a great way to start my work day.

Reading my emails and skimming over the news takes me about 10 minutes together.

I read for about 30 minutes at night.

None of my goals are exhaustive in nature. These collectively take about 1.5 hours or less of my day. That’s it! I’m awake for 16 hours in a day. Can’t I spare a mere 1.5 hours out of 16 on myself?

3. Plan a monthly structure because I prefer multiple short term goals over multiple long term (Add on goals):

2023 I want to focus on myself completely. I did a pretty good job of it this year, but 2023 I level up.

Refer to this article. This is how I structure my goals.

This particular set of goals that you see below are what I call my “add on” goals.

I want to do charity work/ volunteer every weekend because I genuinely want to help people and I’m done with partying every weekend.

I want to improve my skin quality, minimise my hair fall, and get nails done routinely because I want to look polished at all times.

I want to create and work on my personal brand because I’m getting bored of the job I have.

I want to learn more. I want people to describe me as well educated and intelligent. I will therefore do one short online course a month and attend at least one virtual or in-person conference/ event/ lecture.

I want to make time for my close friends. I’m done socialising with acquaintances and I’m done with large crowds because it exhausts me. Dinners, brunches, going on hikes, cooking together….I want to spend quality time with them. But I don’t want it to be a distraction, so I’ll limit it to twice a month. This also limits my alcohol intake.

4. Read my visual diary everyday to stay motivated and disciplined.

This is the person I want to be and I will be.

5. At the beginning of every month, write down my goals for the month.

I set new goals every month. Here’s an example.

My non-negotiable goals are short goals that don’t take me long to do. These maintain my discipline. This is what you should start with.

My add-on goals is like my “level up” player mode (you know when the main character starts doing side quests? These are exactly that). These ensure that I’m a well-rounded person. You have to slowly work your way up to these. It took me a solid year to get here. It takes time, energy and effort. The more consistent you stay, the faster you can level up.

6. At the end of the month, note down what I did and did not accomplish.

Refer to this article.

Hi, thank you! 😽

I’d recommend first doing a personal SWOT analysis. I’ve mentioned it in this article.

Once you figure out your SWOT, decide what you want to tackle first.

Do you want to tackle your weaknesses first; or learn how to make full use of opportunities; or are there any threats (for instance, low confidence or self esteem) that can deter your progress?

You can make a list of high priority to low priority things.

Once you’ve figured that bit out to a degree, go to my main page (where I have a pinned page with all the links) and see if there’s any topic/ blog post that could help you.

On Being Resilient

It’s very important that you know and understand the importance of being resilient. It’s easy to say you’re strong when you’re obviously not.

I feel that sometimes the whole “fake it till you make it” culture has some clear problems with it.

The problem with culture like that is that your external doesn’t match the internal. So even if you look confident, you won’t feel it, and you won’t exude real confidence. While such a tactic is a great short term method, it’s not healthy for the long term - you are going to have to address those issues.

When you look up online on how to build resilience, you’ll see a flux of similar things. Positive thinking. Positive friends. Relax. Breathe.

I’m sorry if I disrespect any of those authors - but quite frankly, I find it a little bullshit-y.

So let me share with you things I’ve actually learned, tried and tested on my path to being resilient. That doesn’t mean that I’m 100% resilient.

But bear in mind that I was an overly sensitive child, very emotional teenager - and now in my 20s, I don’t get affected by situations to that extent. And I’ve stopped victimising myself, another plus.

As usual. If this doesn’t work for you, I’m sorry. This is not a cookie-cut template. It’s better for you to be inspired by this and recreate your own rather than follow it exactly so. But do what you feel is best.

•••

1. I started by creating a SWOT analysis of myself.

- S- Strengths: skills, values you have, good habits, what you can offer to people in terms of skills (both corporate life and personal life). Examples: honesty, problem solver, marketing, drawing, Excel, etc.

- W- weaknesses: things you know you’re not good at, both private life and corporate life. Examples: impatient, temper issues, programming (I hate it lol), paying attention for a long time, bad relationships etc.

- O- opportunities: what are incoming opportunities? Club memberships, conferences, job offers, career changes, online courses, etc. if you don’t have any, CREATE them. Go online and look for networking events. Go on coursera/ EdX and find a course you want to actually do.

- T- Threats: What obstacles are coming your way? For instance, your plate may be full. Or you have to compete for a job. Examples : being obtrusive, having competition, being a perfectionist, etc.

•••

2. Next, I took a couple of days to really go over the SWOT. You have to be honest with yourself. Fully. No one else will see it but you. You could even go around and ask your closest friends and family what they think are your best and worst qualities.

•••

3. Next, I took a mental resilience test online, because I realised that I wanted to quantify my data. It’s easier to improve when there’s a number visible to you. I used this: click here.

They score you on four factors:

* Motivation

* Concentration

* Coping With Pressure

* Confidence

•••

4. After seeing my score and analysing it properly, I decided to etch out a game plan for each factor. Here’s a sample:

- Motivation:

* setting smaller goals in order to succeed

* Accepting failure and moving on fast

* Asking for feedback on performance (work, school, organisations)

* Working on things that give me satisfaction

- concentration:

* using brain games such as Elevate and Mental Math to improve focus

* Reading more

* Trying different things at work/ school to remain focused (some people work best around other people. Some people work best alone. Some prefer noise, white noise or silence. Figuring this out really helps).

- Coping with pressure

* making quicker decisions (I used to take forever to make decisions because my emotions would come in the way. Now I stick to a simple pros and cons list and it helps me a lot).

* Being able to deal with adversity. Two things come in play here - a) learning from other people’s mistakes (ted talks, videos, your boss, parents, friends etc) b) learning from your own mistakes. Put yourself in micro situations - such as choosing where to eat with your friends or partner (not always, mind you - but stop being indecisive when they are too!), take on responsibility at work, etc.

- Confidence

* You need to believe that you will succeed.

* For me, setting mini goals a week is the most effective. Areas: Home (laundry, cleaning, etc), Self (homework, exercise, meditation, habits, learning new things), Environment (social life, work life, friends, family).

* I use a free habit tracker “Habit” (pink icon in the App Store) to track my 6 daily habits.

•••

4. Resilience comes with progress. It comes slowly. There will be setbacks. There will be issues. There are often times when, in a fit of emotion, we forget about resilience and get carried away in our situation. You need to realise this. You need to remind yourself to be resilient every single day. Say it out loud or write it down or set a reminder, I don’t care. But you need it at the back of your brain.

You’ll face all sorts of situations to show your resilience. Maybe a team member isn’t doing their part in a project. Maybe a friend of yours is adamant in you doing a certain thing with them. Maybe your family has some expectation of you that you’re not interested in achieving.