it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

The thing is, when museums and cultural institutions or researchers adopt memes in a "How do you do, fellow kids" way, that's adorable like my grandma when she's misusing emojis. However when some megacorp does it to sell me evil products or some influencer is trying to get me to buy nonsense skincare mud or cyberpunk looking face masks or weightloss pills, I think that's evil incarnate and their name goes into the Death Note (very mindful, very demure)

Every romance book promoted on tiktok is just full to the brim with horrible "steamy" taglines that are just like... Eyes on me, Little Beast. I'm here to make you Damp

people are talking about eating pickles straight from the jar but what about biting into a whole raw cucumber? like. just. you know. like a feral beast. eating a whole cucumber. in like. two minutes. anyone ever do that? bc i do all the time. cumcumber <3

ignore cumcumber. i didn't say that

I am fairly sure there are other explanatory factors for a dropping life expectancy, such as skyrocketing obesity rates and no one exercising enough. There’s not much evidence that increases in the quantity of working hours is linked to a dropping life expectancy.

remember when i eviscerated someone so thoroughly they deactivated?

Solidarity

Edward Cullen energy

what does that mean?

the phantom of the opera and the hunchback of notre dame? opposite ends of same spectrum 

And beauty and beast falls somewhere in the middle

someone do a graph

This is the science I’m here for

Take one sip of the dissolved water and your heart jumps out of your body

drink that and you become a super saiyan

#disposing of a clown carcass