Goblin Disaster

“you’re so quiet” can’t a girl just live in a permanent state of peace and quiet

There should totally be a movement called “Sleep in Public” where people defend their right to sleep on public property. Sleep in your cars. Sleep on benches. Sleep at the park. Just make it a mundane and regular part of life to see someone napping in the library. It would make it much harder to single out the homeless for harassment if everyone else is doing the same thing and much harder to argue that it’s a “threat to public safety” when it’s so clearly harmless.

“But homeless people commit crimes!” I have a very hard time believing they commit crimes while asleep.

You know who do commit crimes in their sleep? Billionaires

the end of men in black is so funny. your boss trains you for two days on interplanetary relations then says "ok I think you can take it from here. I'm wiping my own memory so don't bother calling me if you have any questions"

This is just modern on site training

Nothing I’ve read has changed me more than “you do people a favor by accepting their help” like I repeat this constantly to so many people because it’s true!!! People like to feel useful, they like to feel kind, they like to feel like they have an ability to impact people’s lives so just let them!! Not everything is a thing to be owed back — accept people’s kindness without making a competition out of it

"Poor thing." (condescending) (flirting)

My prof was like 'yeah there was this experiment where they like made a casino for rats with mini slot machines n everything and made those rats into gambling addicts it was so cool' n i looked up the article n hes the lead fucking researcher

do you wanna hang out tonight my curse was finally lifted

it’s been a long day pass the gay vampires