#DisasterKitchen

1c (2 sticks) butter

4oz semisweet chocolate (use a bar, not chips, if you can)

1c (90g) Dutch process cocoa (this is the only ingredient I bothered to weigh because that shit's expensive)

4 eggs

1 1/2c white sugar

1/2c brown sugar

1tbs (!!! come ON) vanilla

1tsp espresso powder or instant coffee

1tsp salt

1c flour

oven to 350. line a 9x13 pan with parchment.

melt the butter and semi-sweet chocolate together over low heat on the stove. (original recipe says to brown the butter and pour it over the cocoa to "bloom' it but nah. I'm not doing that.) Once it's melted, whisk in the cocoa and espresso powder until there aren't any lumps.

While that's doing it's thing, in a large bowl, beat together the eggs, sugars, and vanilla. recipe says to beat for a full 4-5 minutes at a minimum; if you're not using a mixer or an egg beater you can use a whisk and some elbow grease. there's some science at work behind why whipping air into the eggs can help get a shiny top on the brownies but look. you don't have to worry about that. I promise. it's fucking brownies, they'll be fine. whisk until your arm is tired then give it a rest.

gradually beat the chocolate into the egg mixture. use a big spoon to mix in the salt and flour- it'll be thick. Pour the batter into your pan and bake for 25 minutes; the top should be just set. don't overbake!

300g rhubarb, washed and cut into 2 inch pieces, +1-2 medium stalks for garnish

1/4c (ish) orange juice; you may need a little more or less depending on how juicy your rhubarb is

1c (198g) sugar

1-2tsp orange zest (I went a little overboard with this but, well. I have so many oranges.)

1 3/4c (210g) all purpose flour

1/2tsp baking soda

1/4tsp salt

heaping 1/4 tsp nutmeg (go a little scant if you're a coward or using fresh nutmeg)

1/2tsp ginger (use 1/4 if your ginger is especially potent; can also use cinnamon)

1/2c (57g) chopped nuts (I used pecans)

1/2c vegetable oil

2 eggs

demerara or sparkling sugar

Stew the rhubarb: add the chopped rhubarb and orange juice to a saucepan and cook on low heat, stirring occasionally, until the rhubarb softens and starts to break down, but isn't completely pureed. You want some chunks! You should have about 1 1/2 cups of compote when you're done. (Use more orange juice to make up the difference if you need to.) Set aside to cool; if necessary, chuck it in the fridge or freezer for a bit.

Oven to 350. Grease an 8 1/2" x 4 1/2" tin (is this a 9x5 tin by another name? I only have one size of loaf pan. it's probably a 9x5). Create a sling out of a single piece of parchment paper, cut to fit width wise within the tin with some overhang. Grease that, too. Dust the greased tin with white or demerara sugar, tapping it gently to get it to spread evenly. (I know, we're already off to a great start here. We're being fancy! My usual technique is just crumpling up some parchment and calling it a day.)

In a large bowl, combine the sugar and orange zest. Use your fingers to work the zest into the sugar to get it to release its oils.

Whisk in the rest of the dry ingredients and the nuts.

In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs and oil until pale and thick. Stir in the cooled rhubarb.

Wet your dries: make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the rhubarb and egg mixture. Mix gently, starting with small circles in the center, then working your way out to the edges, to avoid lumps and dry pockets.

Sadly, the baking soda in the dry ingredients will make that beautiful pink rhubarb turn a sickly gray. Can't be helped, it's chemistry. Don't worry about it.

Pour batter into the prepared tin. You can either lay several stalks of rhubarb lengthwise on top of the cake for garnish like the real recipes do, or you can do what I did and just sprinkle a line of diced rhubarb down the center. Cover liberally with demerara or sparkling sugar, or use brown or white sugar if you don't have those. (I don't remember why I originally bought the sparkling sugar but I'm glad I finally got to use it.)

Bake for 55-60 minutes or until done; the top of the cake should look dry and shiny, and a toothpick inserted into the center should come out clean. (If it comes out pink, that just means you hit some rhubarb, which is fine.)

My fucking around with the parchment paper aside, this is a pretty easy recipe! You can certainly skip all that nonsense if you prefer.

The verdict: tasty! Kind of has a lot going on between the orange and the spices; I might've gone overboard, just a smidge. The ginger and nutmeg are very punchy under the sweetness of the orange and the pecan, but when you get a bit of rhubarb, it's gorgeous. Honestly, I think it needs more rhubarb; I should've covered the top in diced rhubarb instead of just doing a pretty stripe. Or I could've done a full layer of sliced rhubarb placed widthwise instead of lengthwise. The extra sugar feels necessary given the tartness of the rhubarb.

This is a stupid simple recipe- you can absolutely just make it in your pan the way Deb does in the original recipe. I didn't do that, of course, because I like to complicate things.

1c (80g) rolled oats; I used closer to 100g of quick oats because I didn't feel like looking for the rolled oats

3/4c + 2tbs (110g) flour

1/2 cup (95 grams) light brown sugar

generous pinch of salt (1/4-1/2tsp)

1/2tsp ground ginger (this wasn't in the original; next time I'll up it to a full tsp)

tbs (85 grams) melted butter

1tsp cornstarch

1tbs (15 ml) lemon juice

1tbs (15 grams) sugar

1c (125 grams) diced rhubarb (125g was more like 1 1/4c for me. 2 stalks)

1c (155 grams) diced strawberries

Oven to 375; line an 8x8 pan with parchment.

In either a bowl or directly in your pan, mix together the oats, flour, ginger, and brown sugar. Pour in the melted butter and mix together until the mixture is moistened and can be pressed into the bottom of the pan. Reserve 1/2c for the topping. (This is not enough crumble. It just isn't! The bottom layer needs to be thin so it crisps up when baked but 1/2c is just stingy.)

Combine the fruit, lemon, cornstarch, and white sugar in another bowl, then pour it over the crust. Sprinkle the remaining crumble on top, and then bake for 30- 40 minutes or until the fruit is soft and bubbling and the topping is golden.

4c chopped rhubarb (490g; I only had about 450)

6tbs (75g) sugar

Toss the rhubarb and sugar together and let sit in a strainer over a bowl for at least 45 minutes; reserve both the fruit and the liquid that drains out.

Streusel topping:

2/3c (134g) sugar

1c (120g) all purpose flour

1.5 tsp cinnamon

1.5 tsp ginger

1/4tsp salt

1/2c softened butter

1/2c (60g) chopped nuts; I used pecans, but you can use anything, really

Whisk together the flour, sugar, salt, and spices, then cut in the butter until crumbly. Finally, stir in the nuts. This makes a generous quantity of topping, which I think is important.

The cake:

3c (360g) all purpose flour

1tbs baking powder (I know, I was shocked too)

1tsp salt

1c (198g) sugar

1/2c (113g) softened butter

3/4c rhubarb juice from the first step- I only had about half a cup, so I used half & half to make up the difference. you can use water, fruit juice, or even sour cream if you're short on juice.

2tsp vanilla (I bought a new bottle less than a year ago, this kind of shit is why it's already half empty :x)

1 tbs lemon zest- nobody measures this. I zested 1 lemon

1 egg

Diced rhubarb from step 1

Oven to 350; grease or line a 9x13 pan with parchment.

Whisk together flour, baking powder, salt and sugar in a large bowl. Beat or mix in the butter until mixture resembles coarse sand. This will feel like sacrilege, but just go with it, okay. Trust the process.

Mix in the rhubarb juice, vanilla, zest, and egg, beating until combined, about 30 seconds. Mix the diced rhubarb in by hand.

Spread the batter into your pan- it will be thick. Cover with streusel topping and bake for 47-50 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

This is definitely better the next day; you do notice the lack of fat in the batter just a little when it's straight out of the oven. But the next day it's moist and tender and absolutely perfect. (Le spouse says: too much lemon zest, needs more rhubarb. I don't disagree, but I used all that I had.)

1/3c coconut oil or vegan butter, melted; vegetable oil will work in a pinch

1c white sugar

1c orange juice; I had about 3/4c once I strained the pulp and got sick of juicing oranges, but that was fine because of the next ingredient. (You can also use an unsweetened nut or dairy milk here instead of juice)

2tbs flax seed; this is an egg replacement! substitute 2 real eggs if you're not doing vegan, or your vegan egg substitute of choice. I used 2tbs Bob's Red Mill's vegan egg substitute, plus 4tbs water, which made up the difference for my orange juice. You may need to adjust your liquids slightly depending on the egg substitute you use, but a 1/4c of juice or milk isn't gonna make or break anything here.

Zest of 1 orange

1tsp vanilla

6oz whole roasted, shelled, unsalted pistachios, which is about 1 1/2c.

1c all purpose gluten free flour; I used King Arthur Flour's Measure for Measure GF flour, which is *not* the same. It's got added proteins and shit to account for the gluten. I don't know if I'd have gotten the same results with a different flour.

1c almond flour

2tsp baking powder

1/4tsp salt (I used 1/2tsp, because come on. if your pistachios are salted, you could go less, theoretically)

Oven to 375; grease or line a standard muffin tin. If your pistachios aren't chopped finely, do that now. (A food processor makes this easy, but you can do it by hand with a rolling pin, a large knife, and some gumption.)

In a large bowl, whisk together the flours, baking powder, salt, and chopped nuts. Set aside.

In another bowl, mix the sugar and melted oil together; add orange juice, vanilla, orange zest. If just using straight flax seeds, add those too. If using another egg replacement, prepare it according to the instructions, and then mix it in.

(The egg replacement I use includes some baking powder. Baking powder will react to the acid in the orange juice, so you ideally don't want it to sit and lose its umph while you do everything else. The original recipe also has the sugar mixed with the dry ingredients instead of the wets, which feels wrong to me, so I didn't do it.)

Dust your wets! Add the dry ingredients to the wet and mix together with a spatula. Fill the muffin cups with batter and bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean; mine were done right at 25 minutes, so keep an eye on them and don't overbake. Makes 12 muffins.