Yo no necesito alcohol para tomar malas decisiones

there's a jewish story about a rich man who goes to his rabbi to ask him about building an orphanage, and the rabbi is like "yeah duh go for it!!" and then later the rich guy comes back and is like "actually I've decided not to... I was just doing it for my own image and not coz I cared about orphans" and the rabbi was like "bitch the orphans don't care why you're building the orphanage!!!" and sometimes I wish I could say that to lefties who haven't unpacked their christian upbringing. sometimes motives don't matter!! who give a fuck why a politician wants to do a good thing? bitch the orphans don't!!

loyal knight

tamed dragon.

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

George is such a funny dog. He’s super friendly and affectionate with strangers but when someone walks by without acknowledging him he can snap at them as they go by. It sucks. He’s also been known to punch people in the back for walking past him without saying hi. Little bastard.

My current orange cat will smack your head or shoulders if he’s up high and you ignore him, and the previous one liked to stick his hands in your pockets (which could almost trip you) if you walked past a chair he was on.

Everyone should be entitled to a free little treat once per day when they leave the house. A hot beverage, a cookie, whatever. You should have government issued daily tokens and you should be able to go into a shop or a cafe and pick what you like and take it to the counter and hand them your token and say "this is my free little daily treat" and then you don't have to pay for it. please vote for me as your local mp in the next general election.

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"