man door hand hook car door

he gaggy on my rogers until I whoopsy-doo

you catch me in my room watching something kinky, but instead of masturbating I'm just watching intently and taking notes like it's a college lecture

Light Yagami trying to fool the police

Hold on, let me look something up real quick

Yeah this is funny

adam and i are watching a battlebots and this stupid bot has no powers. its just a cardboard box decorated to look like a building with the sign "CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL" and when it was torn open a bunch of little dolls came flying out

everyone send your condolences to op who forgot the official pronunciation (ASS-kee) and now has to hear it over and over

Reminding myself that I can't send "8.0 magnitude cuntquake" to the work groupchat

Spongebob, stop playin' with me pussy lips or yer fired! Agagagagagagaga

this account will NOT be posting any jumpscares or screamers this Thanksgiving

*you, touching the walls at my apartment* there's so much history here.. these pockmarks — cannon fire? me: yea from when I was testing my cannon