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the blowjob brothers have wormed their way into my brain so i made a sideblog to be a freak in peace

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he was born a old grumpy man 😭🥀
noel genre of the day:
noel & liam’s (first) weddings: a rough timeline
note that this is just a bare-bones timeline, with very few details for each event, because there wasn’t really space for much else. if anyone has any particular questions about their engagements and weddings, feel free to ask me!! i’ll also post my findings separately anyway over the next few weeks because. there is so much going on. oh my god. but tl;dr of this particular timeline is that noel and liam scheduled their weddings to be just four days apart 😐👍
thursday 18 april 1996—noel and meg deny reports that meg has proposed
“Reports that hard man Noel, 28, had accepted a telephone proposal from longtime girlfriend Meg Matthews, 25, were “total rubbish,” a Creation record company spokeswoman said. “We just spoke to Meg this morning and it’s not true,” she said. “She hasn’t asked and he hasn’t said yes or no.”” (Shropshire Star, Thursday 18 April 1996) “Mrs Gallagher said: “Meg telephoned me [on Thursday] to tell me they hadn’t got engaged and she hadn’t proposed to Noel.” (Manchester Evening News, Saturday 20 April 1996)
the beginning of july 1996—liam proposes to patsy
“Gallagher first popped the question a month ago.” (Gloucestershire Echo, Thursday 1 August 1996)
saturday 26 or sunday 27 july 1996—liam calls peggy to tell her that he and patsy are engaged
“Mrs Gallagher was one of the first to hear the news when her son telephoned her at semi-detached council home in Manchester. “Liam rang me last weekend,” she said.” (Gloucestershire Echo, Thursday 1 August 1996)
thursday 1 august 1996—liam and patsy exchange rings and their engagement becomes public
Headline: “Oasis star Liam to wed actress Patsy” (Gloucestershire Echo, Thursday 1 August 1996) “The couple have ordered engagement rings at Hatton Garden in central London.” (Gloucestershire Echo, Thursday 1 August 1996) “The couple exchanged rings after collecting them from a London jeweller.” (Liverpool Daily Post, Thursday 1 August 1996)
saturday 10 august 1996—at knebworth, noel disappears just before the gig starts and returns with a cartier watch for meg, inscribed with the words ‘forever and a day’
“It was the biggest gig of their lives and that morning Noel went missing. Everyone was worried. He’d gone to a jeweller and bought me a Cartier watch with the inscription ‘Forever and a day’.” (Meg Mathews with The Guardian, Sunday 6 January 2008)
sunday 11 august 1996—noel once again denies that he and meg have any plans to get married, though he also says she’s “always going on about it”
“Am I gonna be married with children? No, no... Meg’s always going on about it, when she’s on the gin and tonics and that. (Tired and emotional!) Why won’t you marry me, you bastard! The way I see it, I’m already married to you, and it’s not as if I’m going to fucking leave you or anything.” (Noel with Select, Sunday 11 August 1996)
monday 10 february 1997—liam and patsy book several potential wedding venues but are forced to call it off at the last minute
“Liam and Patsy were due to wed on Monday at a private house in London. But they cancelled just three and a half hours before the ceremony was due to take place because of massive publicity.” (Daily Record, Thursday 13 February 1997)
friday 14 february 1997—noel and meg plan their wedding for valentine’s day but are forced to call it off the night before when details are leaked to the press
“Oasis star Noel Gallagher followed brother Liam last night—and cancelled his secret Valentine’s Day wedding. ... The revelation will stun pals of the pair—most didn’t even know they were engaged.” (Daily Record, Thursday 13 February 1997) “A band insider said: “Noel is no fool. He knew everyone was expecting Liam and Patsy to nip off and tie the knot. But he thought no-one was watching what he and Meg were getting up to.”” (Daily Record, Thursday 13 February 1997)
monday 7 april 1997—liam and patsy get married in secret, in front of just two witnesses
“Oasis singer Liam Gallagher married his actress girlfriend Patsy Kensit today. The couple tied the knot at 8:30am at Westminster Register Office in Marylebone Road, central London.” (Cambridge Daily News, Monday 7 April 1997)
tuesday 8 april 1997—noel says he and meg will get married very soon
“He added: “It will be sooner rather than later, although I can’t say when.”” (Daily Record, Wednesday 9 April 1997)
thursday 5 june 1997—noel and meg get married in private at a church in las vegas
“Oasis star Noel Gallagher has married long-term girlfriend Meg Mathews in a small, private ceremony in Las Vegas.” (Aberdeen Evening Express, Saturday 7 June 1997)
Interviewer: There are always rumors that the band is about to split up.
Noel: Well, take it from me, the band isn’t going to split up. All the stuff that you read on the internet, most of it is completely bullshit. And journalists like to make up stories… They’re always trying to play me and Liam off against each other. You know, like saying that we don’t get on. We do! I mean we’re the best of friends at the moment. Everyone’s saying that I’m going to do a solo album and stuff like that. But that’s not on the cards. It never has been as far as I’m concerned. It never will be until the band’s finished. And there’s no plan for the band to break up just yet.
— 1998
Interviewer: After (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? There were a lot of people betting that you were going to leave the band and start your own project. What happened with that?
Noel: Why didn’t it happen? Well I just… I enjoy Liam’s company too much. Haha…If you believe that, you’ll believe anything.
— 19/03/1998 Hora Prima
* He’s wearing the same outfit, so I think the interviews were probably done on the same day in Feb.

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— 26/01/2024 FA Cup Tottenham Hotspur vs Manchester City
he’s so animated 😭😭😭
it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

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NOEL GALLAGHER ED COMPILATION
I. Obsession with body size in photographic evidence
So-called evil skinny era (2014-2022) in which Noel looks 10 times skinnier than a middle-aged man should look:
(last picture is taken on Noel’s 50th birthday. 50TH.)
it’s really amazing that Noel Gallagher wrote about the cold against his shoulder during the breakup era not just once but twice
like.
do we have any pics of anaïs doing the Gallagher Vacant Stare™️ like lennon and gene have it down pat. but i don’t think i’ve seen it on anaïs…
she’s normally smiling at least a little bit and has way too much light in her eyes to get it down but this is the closest she gets

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I'm going to hit him with a brick
so true bestie