black football kits are the sexiest

for the record every deranged thing i have ever done was done in new orleans. the girls there are insane. so am i but it’s like a whole nother type of insane. every night begging my girlfriends can we please only smoke pot tonight. can we please not break any laws. i don’t have the constitution for this . my mom is a fitness instructor. i won the good manners award in middle school

i’m gonna be waaay too honest: the longest i’ve ever had sex i was on drugs and it was from like 9pm to 6am and as it went on by hour three at least i literally haaaaaaaaated it but we just could not bring ourselves to stop. pussies literally black blue and purple, mouthes stretched to oblivion (my bottom lip had split open), every next orgasm started to be simultaneously more and more painful alongside diminishing pleasure, hands absolutely mangled and useless by hour four. towards the end i had started to flag quicker than her so she just, like, used my foot to get off (only working body part) until she passed out. we both had to call off work for two days bc the physical impact was so awful. it was a hot wet new orleans summer and all the thunderstorms were humidifying the room, took a whole ass week to air out the pussy smell. and that is why i have only ever done meth once! (sir this is a wendy’s) and this is the type of experience i suspect that noel and liam had had which catapulted noel into fits of angst after whiskey a gogo 🤗🌈

i keep thinking of that reddit guy that took an insane amount of adderall to meet a work deadline and then once the deadline was met he turned gay and grindr’d a bunch of dudes to come and fuck him for several hours despite never having had gay sex before. similar energy to liam taking viagra and fucking prostate orgasms out of his brother for 4.5 hours straight, i have this image of liam trying it with patsy first and being like “oooooooo boy noel is going to freak when he gets a load of this”