Yes I agree with you, but isn't that fucking depressing? I see everybody doing this, every person I follow is subtly hand-waving away, at some point, some shit their fave did while acting like they're being fair and nuanced. It's incredibly petty and tiring, and I engage in it too, and then I see myself from the outside and I ask, what the fuck are you doing? But it's because I think these conversations should still be had. Otherwise you'll get too lost in the sauce and the Gallagher sauce is in fact not a good place to drown in. I think we should be aware of the pettiness that's inside us, because I fear the other side of it too: to not talk about it at all and hide behind the almighthy "they're both bad". They are both bad, but in sometimes different if equally destructive and horrible ways. Why can't that be a discussion? I find that very frustrating, because we're always saying we know they're assholes but sometimes it doesn't feel like we all know that. I see your point about silence being better. But I just feel like if we're not talking about it in fandom, what are we doing here? I don't know, I don't have a right answer I just find this all very sad
Yes it makes me incredibly sad because I think we should be able to talk about it, not only that I think we have to talk about it as I think it does a disservice to the people whom their behavior is pointed towards. I think fandom is fundamentally an incredibly difficult place to have these convos, because many people have no intention of engaging with them in good faith or are simply unprepared to do so. I think it's important to remember that fandom spaces are formed with the common ground of loving something, and many are not very good at criticizing things that they love. The brother's hatred of women takes different forms and I think they're important to identify, but the nuance is lost when the posts discussing it end with the conclusion that this means *insert brother* is not as bad!
This is a huge problem in all fandom spaces, not just this one, but it just makes me tired. I don't know what the solution is either honestly, I hate that discussions like this can't be held without it becoming a whole fiasco that moves it further and further away from genuine anger and disappointment at their bigotry and morphing it into fandom pissing contests. It's the culture in these spaces and it's rotting and gross.
My only advice for you anon is to decide whether this is a place you can still spend your time in, only you can say where your line is and you have to take care of yourself. I have left fandoms before for this exact reason, and rpf is tough because we're dealing with real people who are often incredibly disappointing.
