“I really was born to meet you…"

ahhh “lying”…. one of the oldest tricks in the book. aside from “bashing someone over the head with a rock”

Pinnacle of technology

File this under posts from 2012 that deal immense psychic damage

There’s no reason for anyone over the age of 21 to be having a conversation with anyone under the age of 18

“For the last time son, I wont talk to you.”

“im sorry students, but this is the last time im gonna say this. Stop trying to talk to me”

“I’m afraid I can’t hire you, I cannot speak to you.”

“I would tell that kid to get off my lawn, but society isn’t ready yet”

“my new born baby just said it’s first word but I’m not trying to hear that” 

My salary is so shitty 😒

have you tried the bbq ranch chicken salad from Wendy’s?

OMG I THOUGHT THAT SAID SALAD

Do u live in Versailles

girl I don’t speak Italian

i’m going to shatter you like glass

This messed me up.

We really do just be on a rock without a fucking clue huh

tumblr mobile should not have the ability to swipe left to the camera or right to the group chats, nobody uses these

queen shit