Digging in Deeper

What makes or breaks us? Honestly I cannot answer that just yet but what I can say is that people don't. 

I used to live for the opinion of others...wear what they told me to wear, speak the way they thought was best and when I dated, change to be the 'type' they liked. But inside, I wasn't happy at all. 

What I gained from those days was the value in standing for myself; for what I like and also what I believe.

Don't be put down by another and instead pursue your dreams. No one is ever a carbon copy of another and no one should ever feel the need to be.

So, sorry if I'm not girly enough or if I laugh too loud or if you just think I'm not your standard of beauty. I don't care.

Here is a picture of my winter pixie shoes. I say winter because I have a summer version too. In my opinion, they are just soo beautiful. Maybe in a few years time I'll laugh and say "I can't believe I liked that!" but for now, I'm going to stick by them. They are just a shallow representation of what it can be like to love being you.

When we are friends and more, I will…

offer you my drink as a sign I accept you, (ugh at saliva sharing!)

invite you to my home as a sign I wish to share my life with you,

and remember your smell and like it because that’s totally not creepy at all (unless you stink and then I can’t help but remember it).

Please do tell if you do the same. Now you know my secret love language but it doesn’t phase me since there should be a reward for reading. SO, in conclusion, moral of the story is… don’t freaking reject my drink offer, it means a lot to me.

People are worth more than what they physically look like and it's about time we realised it. It's so hard for us not to judge someone from their physical appearance because it is the first thing we see. But what if we looked from a different angle, a different perspective? Would we see them as something more than what we define them at first glance?

I'm sure no one wants to be judged by their physical appearance. No one wants to constantly make sure they look good for the sake of reputation or live in fear of being treated based on what they look like. No one wants to question another's intention because they may be physically attractive or wonder if people would have treated them differently if they were. 

So why don't we start appreciating more than just what we see at first glance. Thanks. 

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think I" wish I was more like this "or when I see another female and think "I wish I looked more like her..."

But then I think to myself once more...

Since when was having a normal body not sexy?

or playing a not obviously female sport not feminine?

or wearing no make up suddenly not beautiful?

and when did laughing out loud at something extremely funny make me not dainty and thus undesirable?

These are just a few of my own examples. I like to run around, I like to laugh and jump and I am outspoken and have my own opinion. That doesn't make me unfeminine and that doesn't make me rude either. I love to wear elegant dresses but that doesn't mean I'm restricted to the size of my dress.

We are not defined by the way fashion sees beauty nor are we defined by the way males in our day see beauty. Reminded of the way God sees me, I am already beautiful.

Certainly, we are so quick to judge what we don’t understand; to form abrupt conclusions about people or things before we get to know them or hear them out.

Wow our first event was hosting World's Greatest Shave for Macquarie University and it blew up from such a small team. I'm genuinely so pleased with everyone on the team and it wouldn't have worked out without all their enthusiasm. What I learnt from this...

- A strong team is so important, an enthusiastic leader too and it wasn't that I was the best leader ever but that we had the best team. Each of us motivated each other to make it happen.

- Being honest with the team. Leaders are humans too and it's not acceptable for us to dictate the team from a higher level. Although authority has been given, we are all team mates on the same journey and five brains is better than one -- believe in each team member. As a leader, notice their contribution and commend them for it.

- Be loving. If they are late once, let it pass and be genuine -- they will be genuine back. Most importantly, share in genuine friendship with them and believe in their success. Professionalism does not mean we can't be friends.

- The team is one and when we succeed, the team takes the success. When we fail, the team takes that on too. And so when I went home with all the memories of the day's event, I thought to myself, it wouldn't have happened without everyone -- the team, our friends for extra support, the brave people that shaved, the hairdressers that volunteered, and the Macquarie University students who were so generous.

Concluding as a team working on a project, we take what's been given and dream up something bigger. This is definitely a memory I will keep of university life and also, a thank you to the team for believing in me.

"For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.." (Proverbs 2:6)

Thought it be cute to do something like this again after so long.

Describe your .... in one sentence.

...Personality

I'm sure you wouldn't regret getting to know me because I would make you smile.

...Appearance

I am tall, dark and handsome but that's just a joke.

...Relationship

You could probably say more about my pencil case than my relationship because I'm single.

...Friendships

Two words would be deep and meaningful.

...Experiences

My mom gives me the best advice and it always works out well.

...Music

Wish I could invest more time into loving music but I don't.

...Family Life

The newest member of the family is our dog and everybody loves him, except our grandma who thinks he is filthy. (He does play with his own poo).

...Favourite feeling of the day

Feeling unknown...

Feeling unknown...

Feeling unknown...

And then I just knew it, this one, I am going to keep for life…

I was always very sentimental. From a young age, I always used to desire those ”for life friends” and I recall as we left primary to become those scrawny little year 7’s, we all signed off to each other with "friends 4eva".

But most of us didn’t end up as friends forever. We have merely become acquaintances, the casual passer-by on the street.

Over these weeks though, something has dawned on me; an eye into this "life friends" concept. I have realised that besides knowing that those friends are for life, nowadays I simultaneously make a commitment to lay down my life for them, meaning something like elevating their needs over my selfish desires.

My friend said to me a few days ago after I couldn’t make a date with her… "That’s alright, whatever date next suits you I’ll clear out".

Here’s to loving and serving my loved ones. Romantic I know.

And then I just knew it, this one, I am going to keep for life...

I was always very sentimental. From a young age, I always used to desire those "for life friends" and I recall as we left primary to become those scrawny little year 7's, we all signed off to each other with "friends 4eva".

But most of us didn't end up as friends forever. We have merely become acquaintances, the casual passer-by on the street.

Over these weeks though, something has dawned on me; an eye into this "life friends" concept. I have realised that besides knowing that those friends are for life, nowadays I simultaneously make a commitment to lay down my life for them, meaning something like elevating their needs over my selfish desires.

My friend said to me a few days ago after I couldn't make a date with her... "That's alright, whatever date next suits you I'll clear out".

Here's to loving and serving my loved ones. Romantic I know.

Fresh...

"I believe in you..."

I remember all the times my friends and family have said this to me. Two in this week alone. Appreciation to you all for saying this to me and for continually doing so. Words can empower or destroy and you have chosen to see the treasure in me.

Finally feeling the excitement of Uni really kicking in! In fact, I am excited about all things that this year is going to bring! Got some time to be sick this morning and make breakfast as well, thinking about this year's open doors.... Here is breakfast if anyone is still hungry.

Freedom.

That word already triggers an assortment of thoughts. And then I think to myself, if I had to do something or run somewhere to feel free, then am I really free?

Freedom is not known to the stranger of it but only to the one that beholds it.

I am very glad to have my mom. She is so strong and so wise, even when she's sometimes so silly. I always end up going to her when I am in a mess, sometimes for her wise words but mostly for a hug and kiss.

But then the other day, she proposed that after I graduate, I leave home forever. I was so confused. I didn't understand her choices but in this case, her wisdom is higher than mine. I thought that I needed to stay longer, to build our relationship foundations but that was just what other people said. It's their paranoia, not mine.

Then dad explained that she left for boarding when she was 12. A weight lifted off my chest and I realised that my mom never saw physical leaving as a sign of any break in relationship. Her relationship with her mom is still really good. 

Today, I saw my piano teacher's husband after so many years since I quit lessons. It was the most eventful thing that happened all day and in this excerpt I will be sharing with you why.

Even from the way we recognised each other, time was definitely the ruler of us all. I saw a man with a slightly hunched back, hair streaked with white and eyes marked by hours straining in the night. He was shocked to see me and cautiously asked if I was the same girl he had in mind. We embraced and I felt my heart flow tears of emotion that I still can't fully distinguish.

I'd say it was a mixture of love, regret, tenderness, hope and emptiness. He was so surprised at how much I had grown and responding, I felt like he had exchanged his youth for mine. It saddened me because I felt a pang of sadness from his end that came with the extra white hairs and I wish, even in my unqualified position, that I could have given a daughter's love to him.

It is so heartbreaking how time can take you...