Different-Functional

Truth. I spent 2 1/2 years with a man who by the end barely acknowledged my existence for months at a time and treated me like I was something to be ashamed of. It's easy for people outside such situations to pass judgement about why someone would stay in an emotionally abusive relationship like that, but anyone who has been in one knows that it isn't so black and white. Successful abusers break you down so slowly you don't even realize it's happening. They identify all your weak spots and then manipulate and guilt you by turning your own insecurity, shame, and fear against you. They convince you that you don't deserve any better, that you need them, that no one else will ever "love" you. They break your mind and break your spirit until you don't even recognize yourself anymore. I got lucky. The man I was with took things one step too far and it broke through the brain fog and was a reality check for me. I realized how weak I'd let myself become and how little of my authentic self was left after he'd drained me over those years. It didn't happen overnight but with the help of people who do genuinely love me I got myself and my confidence back and am now with a man who actually loves me and treats me right, and I'm happier than I've ever been. For anyone who loves someone that is in an emotionally abusive relationship of any kind the best thing you can do for them is to show them lots of love and encouragement. Going into overprotective mode and confronting them about their toxic relationship will only make them push you away because they feel compelled to defend their abuser out of a warped sense of love and loyalty, or simply because they fear their abuser. So instead, give them lots of love, validation, and positive reinforcement. Give them reasons to smile and laugh. Build them up so they find the courage to see how amazing they are and the strength to break free from their abuser on their own. #relationships #relationshipmemes #abuse #toxicrelationships #dontblamethevictim #buildthemup https://www.instagram.com/p/BviTySbHRFZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ptzhpj0ec7uc

We are universal energy made manifest in a body, and as such we carry a spark of the divine. As women I think we often forget that we carry the blood of the goddess within us. Instead, we focus on carrying the weight of unreasonable expectations and we struggle to hide wounds and scars that we believe make us vulnerable and ugly. In our minds, we are all too frequently cracking under pressure, all the while resenting our perceived weakness and not realizing that in reality the pressure is transforming us into indestructible diamonds. We are beautifully flawed divine beings laboring under the illusion that we are merely human. #women #illusions #expectations #vulnerability #divinefeminine #divine #goddess #diamonds #beauty #foreverbeautiful #neverforget #experience #wisdom #highpriestess #empress #embodyyourwildnature #embodythegoddess #embodylove https://www.instagram.com/p/BvaWZw0gF68/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vfpp6p8eni40

It's that time of year again. It's warm enough to hit the trails, to yet again indulge in this love-hate relationship I have with running for the sake of challenging my weak little Marfan-heart to get stronger. And if my heart could make a face this was the one it would have made when it realized what I was about to put it through. Translation:**twitch-twitch** ...yaaayy? #spring #itsthattimeagain #running #marfansyndrome #marfanlife #challengeyourself #horrifiedheart #stopwhining #theresnocryinginbaseball https://www.instagram.com/p/BvXzdPrgMkw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=36dexwg8m84w

Boots, ripped jeans, tattoos, iced coffee, a badass vehicle, podcasts, and the warmth of sunlight.... Life doesn't get any better than this right here. Happiness doesn't have to be an extravagant concept or a prize perpetually out of reach, it can simply be the culmination of dozens of little things adding up to remind you of how beautiful each moment can be. It took me a long time to figure that out, but I hope it's a lesson I never forget. #sunlight #spring #coffee #tattoos #countrygirl #happyheart #magical #thisislife #bepresent #experience #itsthelittlethings https://www.instagram.com/p/BvM7Xl4npX_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=g9hy3v9w3v0s

My new automotive companion and I are on a mission this morning. We can't divulge the reason, it's a secret. Shh. But I've got my coffe and she's trying the name Taiga on for size today to see if it's the right fit. #secretmission #carcompanion #travelcompanion #tryitonforsize #morningmusings #justacouplecountrygirls https://www.instagram.com/p/Buoh7R_AvVf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=fwq5lm9vjnnn

Excitedly welcoming home and settling in my new car. She is as yet unnamed but I'm so so psyched to put the stress of the last few weeks behind me and to finally have a vehicle that better suits my lifestyle and personality. https://www.instagram.com/p/BumYmtYnol9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1uu3ukl761bfx

Well, Emmy has officially become a casualty of this winter weather we had. Goodbye sweet girl. Thank you for 5 years of reliability and for putting up with so much of my shit before finally giving up the ghost. Also, I want the record to show that Kelvin is the best boyfriend I could possibly ask for. He picked me up when I was stranded in the snow after the accident; took me to get my rental car; helped shovel out my driveway; gave me a ride to and from work so I'd be safe; AND he still managed to find time to make me a card and bring me roses for Valentine's Day. That's only a tiny fraction of all his awesomeness. This whole ordeal with my car has been so much less stressful because of how well he treats me and takes care of me. I am so damn blessed to have him in my life. #wrecked #winterweathercasualty #goodbye #illmissyouemmy #feelingblessed #rollwiththepunches #curveball https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt7dzB9nH3v/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=skpij67d253

The snow day called for a warm hat, glasses, a messy side braid, and no makeup. I usually can't stand the snow but my world is so happy right that even this self-proclaimed snow-hater is feeling playful and wanting to enjoy this beautiful white fluffy stuff. #happygirl #snowday #timetoplay #gingerlife #nomakeup #nofilter #lifeisgood https://www.instagram.com/p/BteUaXpABxe/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=sfisngo1m488

This fuzzy little cutie pie and the feather fluffs are making my day. They're so damm cute. 💖 #snowday #deer #bird #socute #munchmunch https://www.instagram.com/p/Btd_gpQggy4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=al5x6az6jpii

Not gonna lie, today was kind of a shit day. Nothing felt right, nothing went right, and both my anxiety and frustration levels were spiking like crazy. Then I glanced down the hallway this evening and the entire living room was illuminated in shades of pink and orange. And I took a deep breath, basked in the silent light for a moment, and remembered to soften my perspective. Because not every day will be a good one, and that's okay, it doesn't have to be. We don't always have our shit together, and maybe instead of seeing that as a failure we should see it as a sign that we're trying to hold onto too much at once. Sometimes trying to force a frustrating day to become a spectacular one will simply make it more frustrating. There are times when the best approach is just to soften into it, to stop focusing on the harsh lines and loud demands for our attention, and instead take a moment to let it all get a little hazy and quiet for a while. #nature #inspiration #soften #flow #acceptance #breathe #itsgonnabeokay #differentfunctional https://www.instagram.com/p/BtSCNowHPaW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3vh1ii8bpq19

Caught the study bug tonight for the first time in a while. Nothing like a mellow night, grooving to some Samurai Champloo inspired Lo-Fi beats and doing my Occult Science in Medicine homework. #studybug #occult #talkesoterictome #holisticmedicine #bodyandsoul #lofihiphop #otakuforlife #checkoutmysnazzyglasses #soullessginger #nerdynocturnal https://www.instagram.com/p/BtC99NOF7CU/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1l181vnu0odx1

Energy Forecast: Friday, January 4, 2019 Death is often a word that provokes feelings of fear, grief, loneliness, anxiety, revulsion, or aversion. As humans we have a strong desire for stability and consistency. We want to have the ground under our feet and to feel in control of our lives. Death, however, is the great equalizer because none of us are immune to its influence and none of us are ever completely prepared for its inevitability. Trapped in these dark thoughts it's easy to forget that death serves a valuable purpose in our lives and in all life that exists in the universe. In nearly all belief systems, including modern science, death and destruction are inextricably linked to birth and creation because of the cyclical relationship between the two opposing forces. Death is the counterbalance to Life. Death is the void in which Life dreams of new possibilities. Death is the soil in which the seed of creation takes root. Death dismantles solid form, converting it to the raw energy and materials from which Life creates solid form of another kind. It is important also to note that this does not apply only to literal matters of mortality. Yes, we all will one day meet with Death when the time comes to relinquish our mortal form, but while we still live Death brings us gifts in many forms. Over the course of our lives Death offers release, time and again, from self-sabotaging perceptions, self-destructive behaviors, and the ignorance of inexperience. Death cuts us loose from relationships that have become toxic, jobs where our growth has been stunted, and environments which limit our expansion. Death clears the way for limitless possibilities and new Life to enter into our experience and our world. Death may at first seem intimidating but it need not be feared. It is actually our ally, even when we fail to recognize it. And if we choose to view it as our friend rather than seeking to resist it, Death will teach us how to better dance in time with the rhythm of Life. #energyforecast #tarot #oracle #death #life #cycles #transform #release #destruction #creation #twosidesofthesamecoin #letgo #dontfightyourally https://www.instagram.com/p/BsNGATTl8cx/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=fxh9ajpdqmfv

I received this beautiful gift in the mail today and I'm so in love with it. 😍 Thank you so much Nicky! You're always such an angel and so supportive to me, and your light shines so bright, lovely 💖 https://www.instagram.com/p/BsMfO33Fwjg/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=wudh2olf615o

Energy Forecast: Thursday, January 3, 2019 With the holidays officially behind us it's tempting to throw ourselves back into the hectic chaos of our lives or devote ourselves single-mindedly to new year resolutions, but it's important to recognize the value of taking a moment to step back, recalibate, and catch up on self-care. The holiday season is lively and offers us the opportunity to spend more time with loved ones, socialize, volunteer, and shower the people we care about with gifts and affection. Then when we open the chapter on yet another year we feel energized and ready to start afresh, tackling our goals and striving forward toward them relentlessly. But the danger in getting caught up these things is that our own needs often fall to the wayside, we don't get enough sleep, we over-commit, we over-spend, we over-eat, we stress about everything from family dynamics to traffic, and in the end this can lead to burn out. So take some time to withdraw from everything. Take care of yourself. Reorganize your life. Settle into the routines that help you feel rested and contented. Plan ahead and pace yourself. And take the time to really figure out what you want this year to be for you and who you want to be in it. As much as we may want to rush ahead, that space between the chapters in our lives is important for us to acknowledge and honor. #energyforecast #tarot #oracle #rest #rejuvenate #recover #honoryourself #selfcare #takeabreather https://www.instagram.com/p/BsJ8JaoHznb/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=16gtsx6tabs8t

When you're practicing to be the quintessential white girl but can't take yourself seriously. 😂 #duckface #tryingtogirl #amidoingthisright #whitegirlridiculous #whydogirlsdothis https://www.instagram.com/p/BsG5nMGHhjs/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1lr0qm3x2hm8a

Energy Forecast: Friday, December 28, 2018 The theme today is love and the expression we choose to give it. The Knight of Cups approaches, asking us to dive deep into the waters of our emotions. He asks us to focus our attention on the love exchanged between us and those who we hold most dear. He asks us to be observant of the ways in which our loved ones show their concern and affection for us, and encourages us to freely express the love we feel for them in return. The 8 of Pentacles acknowledges that what the Knight asks of us is not always easy. In fact, we may find it a struggle to express the love we feel. Perhaps we feel awkward, clumsy, or unskilled when we try to communicate that love. Maybe we fear rejection or worry that our feelings and intentions will be misunderstood. We may be reluctant to open our hearts because of prior injuries that left us feeling unsafe to love freely again. The 8 of Pentacles reminds us that such feelings are a natural part of the human experience and that giving outward expression to the love we feel is a skill that we must be learned and developed. Perfection is not demanded of us. Those who truly love us will see, value, and reciprocate our efforts even if those efforts are initially a bit clumsy and unskilled. And finally the 10 of Cups comes to us with the promise that bliss will be found in our relationships when we give of ourselves freely, express our love authentically, trust our loved ones to stand by us, and work together with them toward the shared goal of establishing a strong, enduring, and unconditionally loving bond. #energyforecast #tarot #oracle #love #expressyourself #communication #beauthentic #youdonthavetobeperfect #justbeyou #sharethelove https://www.instagram.com/p/Br7B6WPnFw2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1w66cd0rejiuz

Contemplating the contrasts and complements today. Light and Shadow. Yin and Yang. Masculine and Feminine. Joy and Grief. Nature and Industry. The melody of morning song birds melting slowly into the nocturnal howling song of the coyote. It's all made of the same stuff. Different facets of the same experience. We're all just energy given form and claiming consciousness. #contemplation #contrasts #yinandyang #interconnectedness #oneness https://www.instagram.com/p/BryJVMAH4gX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=cvk285bmeum4