diceratops

Sighs loudly and dramatically in a way that suggests I desire attention

he's done this a few times now. the ball pit actively soothes him when he gets mad over puzzles. i could learn something from this

if you are fat and slutty you NEED to stay alive. you Have to. im so serious

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

last night I said 'how fortuitous' unironically

I be running my fingers through my bush pondering ancient wisdoms

outlines of two alligators that got raptured by the lord himself

i think they shouldve taken me on a polar expedition not because i would be useful or especially resilient but because my preexisting mental health conditions would have made me an interesting wildcard

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

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hi sweetie do you want brushed too?

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Guys I have a really good joke but you cant be mean ok. Im really proud of this one

Ok here goes

Th

The thing about

The thing about aquatic mammals is th

They're a fishn't