call me by your name and ill call you by mine

“I was quiet, but I was not blind.”

“Nothing is waiting. This is it. This moment is life. Not nearly life, not almost life, not conceptual life learned through repetition, but raw life living itself, exploding in fullness, radically present, dripping from every nook and cranny, bursting forth in motion and in rest - life, life, life! And it is yours to be tasted now, now, now!”

“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”

I can’t stand it to think my life is going so fast and I’m not really living it.

I’ve spent most of my life and most of my friendships holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough they won’t leave, and fearing that it’s a matter of time before they figure me out and go.

The flower bloomed and faded. The sun rose and sank. The lover loved and went.

I was waiting for something extraordinary to happen, but as the years wasted on nothing ever did unless I caused it.

*survives another year*