Stargazing

I’m Vic! I am an adult and Sprig amphibia has been my profile picture for three years straight.

This is my nonsense corner where I have fun observing and interacting with whatever my whims have latched onto at the time. I never know what to expect of myself, so don’t expect much reason or consistency from me either. This will likely be mostly reblogs. I’m big into animated stuff, if it wasn’t readily apparent!

I do draw - art I make will be tagged with #diamondvic-art and/or #my-art. (They both should serve identical purposes, I simply started tagging both ages ago and never stopped lol)

All art I make will be tagged as such - ">Media's name< fanart"

I have a warrior cats sideblog here, which I use almost exclusively to post warriors art. I do reblog that art here under #wc-fanart, and it is what I draw most frequently, so avoid that tag if you don't want to be bombarded with it

Take J. All the way from her manor days, J fully bowed to authority, even when it would harm her fellow drones (Cyn) or those she perhaps considered friends (Tessa). Even then, didn’t J distance herself from Tessa, and her very real hurt, by simply referring to her as “boss” and the cruel treatment by her mother as “corporate” having spoken? There were never any exceptions to these rules for her. And Cyn saw this, those predictable patterns of hers.. and had a very real reason to want to hurt J (locked in the basement by “corporate’s orders”).

When Cyn begins her whole universe domination plan, where else would J be but right there ready to fulfill orders? What, is J going to stop following a corrupt authority now of all times? If anything, J leans more into the corporate farce, continuing to justify the horrific things she does as following Corporate’s Orders. She simply twists the truth into something palatable for herself. Which makes it so very easy for Cyn take the form of J’s dead human companion, using it, and J’s performance as a sick kick, as a disguise to trick the others. She’s willing to stay silent on the reality of “Tessa” being Cyn (isn’t it so interesting the one DD who Cyn let know was J? Isn’t that so purposeful of Cyn to do?), failing to honor her old manor friend one more time. J is completely hapless and complaisant, a loyal little lackey til the end, so broken down she doesn’t see any life for herself outside the service to Cyn. She truly believes “there’s no escape, even in death”. There is nothing for J but a need to follow the leader, to do what’s best for her own self; why resist when it’s pointless? She has no drive for anything greater than that. She is completely unwilling to compromise her position for the genuine wellbeing of her team. The one time she reaches out to V is for V to join her on Cyn’s side. She is unyielding in her choice to stand by Cyn, completely unwilling to envision better for herself, let alone examine if she’s morally in the right. J is trapped in the loop of Cyn’s little games, and perhaps the worst part is, it’s J’s own behaviors that keep her truly stuck there. And Cyn knows J won’t try to break out of that. Why else pick J as her go-to lackey, out of the three main DDs?

And then V. V, the favorite little lab rat. The first victim of Cyn, the test subject, her body and mind first to be mangled into something Monstrous. The very first to have her body killed, her memories transplanted and meddled with, untold times while Cyn invented the Disassembly Drones. It’s fascinating how little we truly know about manor V; did she always have a potential for violence in her somewhere, simmering under possibly years of human mistreatment? Or was she truly just a shy, soft spoken maid, happy enough in the manor with N? Certainly, it is noteworthy that V’s manor personality seems the most drastically different than her DD one. But perhaps the reality of who she was doesn’t matter. Maybe all that does matter is that, to V, it was as if she had no choice in the new identity, this new body and role and bloodlust, she found herself in. (it does make one wonder if picking what looked like a shy little maid to first turn into a killing machine was a sick little joke on Cyn’s part. It’s sure not hard to make that conclusion).

V, believing it best for her and N’s safety, makes a deal with Cyn. Whatever, whoever, V used to be, she would lean into this new violent, agile, razor-sharp body Cyn crafted for her, cleaving metal and crushing bodies the same way her old bodies were disposed of. V’s deal was far more than simple selfless protection; she, as an individual, was absolutely terrified of Cyn. If Cyn claimed that she would leave V alone if she fulfilled the duties Cyn gave her, wouldn’t it be best to take that offer? Wouldn’t V do anything to avoid that kind of torture and fear again? She would. And she does. She pretends the manor never happened, that she never cared about N, that she was never anything more than a killing machine. To think of herself as anything else, to be honest with and reconnect with N, would shatter the sense of stability she has scraped together. It would mean acknowledging the danger rather than clinging to the coping mechanism. She is DESPERATE to not be that afraid ever again. Because it is Cyn that makes her well and truly afraid. All you need to do is compare how quick she jumps to dispose of Solver Uzi in episode 4 with how she immediately cowers when facing Cyn in episode 8. All of V’s defensive demeanor, including her almost-always-out knife hands, vanish in an instant as she becomes placating and desperate to beseech Cyn as someone who could be helpful to her again (“I can still…”). And Cyn finds V’s fear amusing. Cyn mocks V for failing in the deal (“bad job, V”), and laughs while tantalizing slowly dangling N’s heart over her own waiting jaws. V was always able to be controlled by her terror. That’s what made her such a good little weapon. As soon as she’s exhausted her usage? Well, she could always just be replaced with another more pliant backup.

And N? N is the Favorite Favorite. See, Cyn LIKES N. J is a means to an end, easy to manipulate, and V, for all her bravado, falls apart immediately at the slightest aggression from Cyn. They have so little moral and mental fortitude. But N? From the very beginning in the manor, he was brave, kindhearted, not so easily swayed. He stood up for Cyn when nobody else would, even when doing so would get any of them seriously hurt. It’s very possible he, as a naturally patient and kind individual, was one of the few at the manor to treat her with actual care and respect. Cyn found this fascinating. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that she wasn’t being wholly ingenuine when calling N a brother. After all, she found him so very endearing that she decided his whole squad should have their ability to form personalities preserved (implying that the other DDs would have been rendered fully mindless, much like the flashback N sees of his very squad in episode 7).

And yet, vitally, she twists him, too. Cyn loved N for what she probably perceived as a bumbling and naive sort of outlook on the world. And so it is him who has his memories wholly wiped, him alone who is always left in the dark. It’s much easier to keep N as he was without those pesky memories making him question his own reality, isn’t it? So much better to keep him just like she likes him. She even tries to wipe him again in episode 7, only failing because of Uzi’s assumption of his admin. J and V play straight into Cyn’s hand if she just pulls the strings properly, because neither of them would dare speak up against her. Her enjoyment and use of them hinged on their following her, even with horrible knowledge, because they wouldn’t have the willpower to resist. But N? N’s sort of easygoing, compassionate nature completely opposes himself with Cyn’s penchant for cruel, manipulative jokes and carnage. I don’t think there’s a world where a fully aware N (knowing what Cyn has done, that WDs are fully sentient, etc) would genuinely choose to give up and serve Cyn to save his own skin, or even just to save his squad’s at the expense of all worker drones. The very thing Cyn liked about him would always make him oppose her, and, honestly, I don’t think she wanted him to oppose her! That wasn’t what he was Meant to do, he’s meant to be by her side, what does it matter if he’s opposed to it?? (“You will not talk to me because I have hurt. Your feelings,” in a condescending as hell way lol)

(May 28th small addendum to then idea of Cyn wanting N on her side: she genuinely thanks him for doing his Disassembler job (“thanks for clearing the way on this planet, too”) and then, after trying to wipe him, says “let’s eat”. That’s literally an invitation, her trying to drag him back on her side, which would have likely succeeded had the admin block not been instilled)