Deep Sea Love
This is a Merfolk Fairy Tail AU with Laxeel shipping, and trigger warnings for internalized homophobia, deep trauma, mentions of past SH, and fluffy love after a particularly nasty meltdown. Enjoy, readers!
The ocean was quiet.
Not peaceful.
Just... quiet.
Even the schools of silver fish seemed to avoid the jagged cliff where the dragon merfolk made their dens, as though they could sense the storm coiled around one particular cave.
Inside, Laxus Dreyar hadn't left in four days.
The golden dragon merman curled tightly around himself, his enormous tail wrapped over his body like armor. His usually brilliant scales had dulled to muted brass, and every few minutes another surge of lightning crackled across his fins before fizzling harmlessly into the stone.
He hated when this happened.
He hated losing control.
He hated crying.
He hated…
"No."
His own voice echoed off the cave walls.
"No. Stop."
His claws dug into the rock.
"You're disgusting."
Ivan's voice.
Years later, and somehow it still sounded fresh.
"You're weak."
Another memory.
"No son of mine is going to embarrass this family over another male. That Mirajane girl from the Strauss noble family will be your mate, you hear me?”
Laxus squeezed his eyes shut, the thoughts from so much pain echoing deep in his mind, and conflicting sentences swirled in his head:
You can’t love Gajeel. He’s a guy.
He’s sweet, and loving, and fun, and the best boyfriend we could ever ask for.
We’re supposed to love girls. We’re a Dreyar, not some lovesick teenager who’s broken.
He’s been our boyfriend for 2 years. Why can’t we just be ourselves?
Each sentence made Laxus more confused and upset. True, he began dating Gajeel a year after his dad had died, but the old fears and feelings of disgust just wouldn’t leave him, no matter what he did.
And it was making his arms feel itchy again.
^^^^^^
Gajeel had waited four days.
That was the agreement they'd made after Laxus first confessed his history.
"If I disappear into my cave-"
"I'll give ya space."
"But not forever?"
"Nah."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
So on the fourth evening, Gajeel swam toward the cave carrying exactly three things: a woven kelp blanket, a satchel filled with Laxus's favorite variety of spicy prawns, clams, and crab, and enough stubborn love to outlast any storm.
^^^^^^
"Laxus?"
No answer.
"Gonna come in."
Silence.
"I'm coming in anyway."
Gajeel slipped inside, and his heart clenched at the dimly lit sight before him: the cave smelled like ozone, broken shards of coral littered the floor, one entire wall had been clawed apart in a fit of rage, and in the darkest corner...
Laxus.
Curled into the smallest shape someone his size could manage.
He looked exhausted, eyes swollen, fins trembling, lightning flickered weakly over his scales.
"Sparky?"
Laxus flinched.
"You shouldn't be here."
"I know."
Laxus felt that traitor warmth spread through his body as he trained his eyes on the trash littered floor.
“I came anyway.”
Laxus still didn’t answer, his gaze squarely kept onto the floor.
“Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“Sparky, don’t lie. It’s been four days.”
“I said no.”
Gajeel simply sat a respectful distance away.
He didn't touch him, didn't crowd him, didn’t even ask what happened.
Instead he quietly unpacked the food.
“I brought the spicy shellfish.”
Nothing.
“The good ones.”
Silence.
“The vendor tried to cheat me out of the crab.”
Still nothing.
“So I accidentally scared him for the good stuff.”
A tiny huff, almost not even a laugh.
Progress.
^^^^^^
Nearly fifteen minutes passed before Laxus spoke again.
“I'm broken, Gajeel.”
Gajeel answered immediately.
“No.”
“I am.”
“Nope.”
“I had another meltdown.”
“Yeah.”
“I destroyed half my cave.”
“The coral did look expensive.”
“I cried until I couldn't breathe.”
“I figured.”
“I almost…”
Laxus's voice broke as he gazed down at his arms, the scars still dark and thick against his skin, the stupidly familiar itch crawling up his skin and into his brain.
“I almost dug up the old knife.”
Gajeel's heart stopped.
There was no knife anymore, considering that years ago, after Laxus trusted him enough to explain everything, they'd buried it beneath the deepest trench on the edge of the kingdom, but not because Gajeel forced him.
Because Laxus had wanted it gone.
“But I didn't, and I didn’t look…for anything else sharp either.”
His voice became smaller.
“I remembered we got rid of most of the blades in my cave.
Gajeel smiled through burning eyes.
“I'm proud of ya.”
“I still wanted to.”
“I know.”
“I…my head was really loud, and my arms felt so itchy…I…I almost gave in.”
“And I’m so proud that you didn’t, Lax.”
Laxus finally looked at him, and noticed that there wasn't fear in Gajeel's eyes, nor was there pity, just quiet certainty from someone who loved him for him.
“I just…” Laxus’ voice dropped to a whisper, “Maybe if I had hidden it better from y dad-”
“No, don’t you dare say that,” Gajeel's expression hardened, “I love all parts of you Spark, whether it’s the good, the bad, the ugly, the broken, I don’t give a shit. I want all of you, and I want the real you.”
Laxus’ bottom lip quivered before tears slid down his cheeks and mixed into the water around them, and Gajeel held his hand as Laxus quietly sobbed, then he smirked before speaking:
"Wish my old man could’ve beat your old man’s ass before that prick died."
Laxus blinked.
"What?"
Gajeel snickered as he pictured his dad-a very large silver tailed merman that was believed to be descended from one of the 9 Sea Serpents- beating the shit out of Ivan until he was unrecognizable.
"My old man Metalicana..." Gajeel chuckled, “Him and my mom both love me for me, regardless of whether I liked men or not, and if anyone had anything to say about it, he’d punch them in the mouth.”
Laxus felt hysterical laughter bubble up from his stomach. Even now, despite his father Ivan having died nearly 3 years ago, the thought of Metalicana punching him in the mouth was truly amusing.
Gajeel chuckled as he went on: “I bet if yer old man was still here, mine would probably drag him through the deepest parts of the Tartaros Trench until he was nothing but minced meat.”
Laxus snorted before hiding his face in his hands, a small grin forming on his face, and Gajeel smirked before scooting closer.
“See? There’s that cute smile I love to see,” Gajeel held up the bag holding the kelp blanket, spicy shellfish, and a small conch shell shaped like a rose, “Now, you wanna cuddle, destress, and pig out on your favorite food before Bickslow tries showing Freed how to get more magma blobs from the volcano near Natsu’s cave?”
Laxus smiled shyly and nodded before Gajeel swam towards him and curled up against him, his thick, steel gray tail wrapping around Laxus’ before Gajeel draped the kelp blanket over them, and Laxus rested his head on Gajeel’s shoulder.
“See, ain’t nothin’ wrong with doing this,” Gajeel kissed Laxus’ temple, “true, ya got a lot of mental pain and trauma from yer old man, but it don’t vanish like most people think, but ya can heal from it, and make your own path, Sparky, and yeah, both of us know that yer future is probably gonna be filled with entitled nobles and spoiled royalty from neighboring kingdoms, but ya wanna know what you got that they don’t?” “Heh, and what’s that, Gaj?” Laxus asked with a chuckle.
“Yer gonna have a hot husband who’ll bite anyone who makes you cry,” Gajeel replied with a grin before holding a spicy flavored prawn to his mouth, “now relax and let me spoil ya.”
Laxus went nearly crimson before he ate the prawn, his heart fluttering as the fears and internal hate faded to the back of his mind. True, Gajeel was right about the pain still being there, the trauma Ivan inflicted on him won’t just disappear, and that the future of being king was going to be filled with trials, tribulations, and more than enough entitlement to last a sea serpent 4 centuries, but with the iron dragon merman by his side…
Laxus knew that everything was going to work out, and Gajeel would hold him together whenever he fell apart.
